Ask Liz 12 days ago by Liz Adams

Coffee with Liz • September 27, 2024

What is challenging you the most right now? What’s the most exciting?

Challenging me would probably be finding balance. But I also feel like I’ve let go of so many pressures to do so and am better at accepting that it is okay to never fully feel balanced. I think for a long time I thought I wanted something “bigger” because it felt like it was required to maintain a presence (probably in the social space), but now I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude for what I already have. More isn’t always more, you know?

The most exciting is honestly what has been helping me feel more balance (isn’t it funny how life does that to you, thinks you want one thing even though what is actually working is the thing that you’re fighting?!) – and that is letting go and accepting the pace and phase of life that I’m in. I feel more at peace, less pressure or urgency, less needing more. It excites me because I feel like I’m taking a deep breath again. The push and pull of life.

What’s your advice for grieving the loss of relationships/people who are still living or dealing with distance from friends? It’s natural, but it’s still sad!

Oh yes, I’ve experienced this a lot with moving to Charleston. Let it be sad! Tell them you’re sad. I think we do ourselves a disservice by not honoring emotions or the ending of certain phases of life. It is totally natural and OK for relationships to shift. I’m realizing from my own experience that I can’t dwell on those changes. Instead I have to celebrate the time we do have together and show how much I care. Or vice versa, accept that your life is shifting in a beautiful way and don’t be ashamed to feel excited about that, too! All of it can live together.

What’s your advice for a single 23 year old girl with no idea what comes next (career/lovelife/all)?

CELEBRATE THAT! I promise you, those years are transformative. Enjoy the freedom, the time to be selfish, try new things, find out what excites you, make mistakes and learn from them. Short story but I worked with a life coach during Covid and we did a lot of inner child work and I realized that my most impactful year of my young adult life was the year I was 23. I was single, living in Chicago with my girlfriends, working 6 days a week, going out all the time, completely reckless, didn’t save any $$ and LOVED LIFE. I was so selfish (in a good way!), unemotional about big picture things, literally living in the moment and just happy to be alive. It was the most freeing year of my life and also one that I truly think set me up for success. It taught me how to take care of myself, trust the inner dialogue, spend time alone and just have faith that everything works out. Life unfolds the way it is intended for you! Let it all happen.

What sparked your push to see a therapist? What are your tips for finding a therapist/couples therapist?

Dave and I saw a therapist about a year and a half ago for 6 months and it was the best thing we ever did for our relationship. I like to go in for little tune ups here and there. I get in my head a lot and assume things that maybe aren’t actually going on – mostly in my relationship, how Dave and I operate at home, etc. It is so helpful for me to talk and have an unbiased opinion tell me how to better handle the thoughts in my head. I honestly found mine on a Google search. I did a lot of research and read reviews to see who I thought would be a good match. Later learning that a lot of my friends saw the same person! ASK YOUR FRIENDS!

Expecting my third any day now. What tips do you have?

This blog post should be helpful!

How do you manage cleaning bathrooms with busy kids?! It’s so hard to do both.

Last year, I hired a cleaning lady to come once a week. It is the best thing I’ve done for my own mental sanity! My house gets messy in hours but knowing that it is CLEAN is such a relief. I know that is definitely not in the budget for all but that’s what we do.

How to stay connected to spouse through motherhood?

This is very hard. I would highly recommend therapy, scheduling date nights (we used to have a sitter every Thursday night! Need to get back to that), open communication and finding moments that take you out of parenting. I honestly struggle with this, thought. Finding sitters is hard for me!

What did you do to make true friends post grad, before marriage and kids?

My scenario was a little different because my 2 best friends from childhood were my roommates. So we hung out with a lot of people we went to high school with, then were introduced to each other’s college friends that all lived in Chicago. At that time it felt like we were constantly running with the same crowds! Gosh it was so fun. For example, I met Dave because my best friend Lauren (also my roommate at the time) went to Michigan State with him. I said a lot of YES at that stage in my life!

What does a typical Saturday look like for your family?

Wake up between 6-6:30am. Charlie usually has a football game at 8 or 9am. We either all go or Dave takes him. (If no sports, I’ll go to a workout class and Dave will take the boys to the gym because they have childcare). Then we will relax, go out for lunch, meet friends, go fishing/crabbing/shark tooth hunting, ride bikes, play with neighbors (we have neighbors at our house every Saturday for lots of hours, ha). We are outside a lot! We also have TV on and let kids relax because they need it. Right now Charlie, Jack and George all have sports between 2 and 4:30pm, all at the same fields. George plays soccer and C+J do tackle football. So we are back at field then, then we grill out at home, bounce between neighbors houses or grab dinner with friends. Movie and bedtime around 8pm (later for C+J)!

How do you balance being so far away from your family?

Lots of plans! We make trips, FaceTime, we all text every day. It’s hard but I feel like our time together is now quality over quantity and I’m so grateful for it!

What are your running shoe recommendations?

I really love Brooks running shoes.

What’s a kid friendly trip you loved and would most definitely repeat?

Turks & Caicos, Palmetto Bluff and Grand Cayman are all great trips with family!

What is your favorite place that you have ever traveled?

Probably Lucerne, Switzerland. I’ve been twice, 2011 and 2014. I haven’t been to Europe in over 10 years and I’m definitely getting the itch!

This post and this post should help! We also use and love these bamboo plates.

How to make friends when we don’t have kids and other friends do?

I think the most important thing about being a good friend/making and maintaining friendships, is inserting yourself in your friend’s lives even if they look different. I have plenty of friends who don’t have kids but still love to be present in our lives WITH kids.

Do the boys ever fight? How do you handle it?

The fight with their words but aren’t very physical.

How to squeeze in date nights with three kids?

Find a good babysitter that you trust and is engaged with your children! I still struggle with this. Anyone a good babysitter out there? Ha. (we have a few but I’m always bad at booking them!)

Do you have employees working for you, or do you work solo? What does Dave do for work?

My assistant, Katie, manages my editorial calendar, affiliate platforms (LTK + SHOPMY), email communication with my manager, Pinterest and helps me create graphics for social/my site. I also work with a management company to help negotiate my contracts and manage my brand partnerships, keep up with partner communication and invoicing. Dave helps me with my accounting/finances, shoot content when needed and just generally helps me maintain life balance. We are small but mighty!

What are three outfits for practical mom life that are still fun that you would suggest?

These, this and this!

How do you style your hair? Round brush, curling iron, flat iron, rollers?

I am not a huge hair person! I let it air dry a bit, I use this unfrizz cream some days, I rotate between my Dyson Airwrap and DryBar round brush to blow out. I use this straightener on straight days.