Family 2 days ago by Liz Adams

On Having 3 Kids

Without a doubt the most frequently asked questions I receive are about the transition from 2-3 kids. Whether we planned to have 3, how it started, how it’s going and how we knew 3 kids was right for our family. *and I just want to note that I know these conversations are sensitive to some and I am so fortunate to have had easily gotten pregnant with all 3 of my beautiful boys. If you’re struggling to conceive, I am sorry and sending you love!

I guess the easiest answer is that I always wanted to have three kids. I am the oldest of three and always loved our dynamic. Dave is one of two and felt great about only having two but ultimately knew if it was what I wanted, then that was what we would do. I also wanted to go for a girl given that we already had two boys, knowing that either way we would most likely be done after having three.

When we found out George was a boy I was sad. And I remember feeling guilty that I felt sad because obviously the fact that I easily got pregnant with a healthy baby is more than most can dream of. But just to be completely honest (and because I get asked about this a lot!), I was disappointed when I initially found out George was a boy. But after talking to a few friends and honoring that it was ok to have disappointment that I wouldn’t have a daughter, I felt so much better. I don’t think there is any shame in feeling that way and it also helped me feel so great that I would be a boy mom!! I remember my friend Jackie telling me to honor the sadness and then rewrite the narrative on what I envisioned as a “boy mom.” And I told myself I was going to be the most girly, fun, compassionate boy mom there ever was!! I can’t imagine being anything else and I’m so grateful for all of my boys.

But back to 3 kids! It’s a lot, ha. It isn’t a lot in the sense that having a baby is harder because with the third you know what to expect, you know the timelines and phases and you know the effort it requires. The actual baby isn’t harder than before, it’s just that more time, energy and emotions are demanded of you. You’re thinned out a little bit, if that makes sense. That is the hardest part in my mind. I feel like my head is constantly on a swivel, I’m constantly checking in to see how everyone is feeling and I’m constantly checking a box for each child. Nighttime routines are longer, mornings are louder and it is harder to find moments of peace in between the chaos. But with that chaos comes so much more fun because siblings and expanding your family is truly the greatest gift in the world (and we are so blessed that we were able to do so).

Now that our boys are 3,6 and 8 it feels easier. George keeps up with his brothers, understands the routines and tasks and Charlie and Jack are so helpful and fun. It is crazy the parental demands that come with each age. It is like a new coaching job as your kids tackle new phases of life! But I’m so grateful that I get to do that for my boys.

If I’m being honest, I would probably have had 6 more kids because I personally loved being pregnant, labor and delivery and the newborn phase. But I feel completely balanced and fulfilled by how I can support and love on my kids with 3. It’s the perfect number for us.

Photo by Sarah Kassouf.

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  1. I feel the same way 🙂 If I was 30, I would have had MORE babies. But 3 is perfect. I love watching your sweet family – thank you for sharing your life with us.

  2. I am also the mother of 3 boys, now aged 38, 34 and 29!
    I loved everything about being a boy mom, and yes, I was mildly hoping the third might be a girl, but when we learned we were having a third boy, I embraced it. After all, it was what I “ knew”. They were all 3 three sport athletes, and they each played a college sport! To say we were busy and on the go for many years is an understatement! They’re smart, athletic, talented at different things and handsome. I am a proud mom! Now the hard part… letting go when they find someone with whom they wish to share their life. Not all future daughters in law are a good fit for the family, and some resent the closeness sons have with their mothers. Also, girls gravitate to their own families. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I never saw it coming.