Ok guys, we are going to get a little deep today. As I’ve gotten older, I have found immense value in anything that gives me a little deep dive into myself. I think on a day to day basis, we all sort of go through the motions of what we need to get done without truly thinking about our authentic selves and what we actually want, feel, need, etc. We’ve been trained to show up and perform and handle the task at hand and although we are efficient and successful beings, we may also be blissfully unaware of ourselves (not accusing you directly of feeling like this, speaking from my own personal experience).
A couple months ago I attended a lunch all about the Enneagram with Libby Cole, a personality coach and consultant who focuses on the Enneagram, and learned so much! I had taken the Enneagram a few times (this is the best test I’ve tried, so many tailored results that are helpful!) and knew that I was a 3, usually with a wing 2, meaning I am the Achiever with a heavy Helper wing (I’ll share more details of my results below!). For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Enneagram test, it focuses on your inner workings – core motivations, desires and fears. It’s not so much a personality test but more like how you choose to show up for life. I’ve found that having the knowledge of the enneagram gives me so much insight into how I react in certain situations. It’s a huge tool in self reflection and a really big help when it comes to figuring out who you really are.
I say this because I think there is a lot of fluff in the world that can sometimes divert our path. The influencer industry alone, can sometimes make you feel like what you have isn’t enough and all of a sudden you’re in this place that feels so foreign. I share this from experience, as someone who a couple years ago felt like a very inauthentic version of herself. I think of the Enneagram as a map of your journey, why you react to situations, why certain things affect you more than others, what causes you stress or how you make choices. I paid the $19 for a deep dive into my Enneagram results and it is so interesting to read through the strengths, weaknesses, reactions and general areas that I need to nurture and focus on in my life/core.
A DEEP DIVE INTO THE ENNEAGRAM TEST
Here is a little deep dive into my Enneagram…
3,7,2,8. What I love about this test, when you get the results, you can see what types counter balance your own. It doesn’t just give you a number, it goes deep into your results. I am a 3 true and true. I am also a 2, the Helper and can sway a 2 as my main result but usually at certain stages of my life (like in the early stages of motherhood emotions) – it’s definitely a heavy wing for me. You may be like WTF do all these numbers mean – here is a better break down of the 9 Types. There are parts of the Enneagram test that feel accurate and definitely areas that you’ll sort of question, that’s probably an accurate representation of your type (ha!) but overall, the results are very eye opening. Here is a not-so-pretty description of who I am:
Reading these results is sort of like having someone look into your soul and tell you the deepest darkest secrets about yourself that you were too scared to admit. In a way that helps you reflect and come out the other side with more self awareness. It’s honestly eye opening and so helpful! I especially love seeing the ways that I can use my Enneagram for growth.
Ok so why the hell am I talking about this today? Because I have been thinking a lot about authenticity lately. Since having George, I feel like I shed the outer layer of my body and was reborn. Hahaha I sound like a crazy person. But throughout our move, I cried more tears than I ever have before. I felt like I was blind and legitimately was reborn into this new life that we are living. Not completely leaving myself behind, but forced to navigate a new chapter, one without the comfort of home and friends and family, one all for myself. And it’s been amazing. I feel like I have been on this journey over the past 16 months of letting go of the bull shit. And this move and our new life here in Charleston is like the culmination of change and acceptance and newness. Not that I didn’t feel accepted in Chicago, I did! I was sooo happy in that life. But I knew there was more beyond it and I feel like this new, young butterfly is sprouting from her cocoon. I legit related it to a bug molting so there is that. But you get what I mean, right? Sometimes you have to look inward to move forward and that’s what I did.
All this to say, take care of you. Look out for yourself and your needs. Sometimes doing a deep dive into your personality can help you see the future a little more clearly. It helped me so maybe it will help you.
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