Outfit details: Everlane Cardigan (wearing a small), ASOS Tank, Hatch Maternity Jeans, Tortoise Sunglasses, Golden Goose Sneakers, Chanel Boy Bag
What a year to question everything – am I right?
Last night, I re-read this post about finding your sense of self from last year. Not to brag but it’s a good one. It brought up so many memories and emotions about that phase in my life and overcoming a bump in the road. I related to it so much even in this year as all of 2020 has felt like a big road block.
I’ve done something this year that I’ve never done before. I’ve invested in myself in a way that never seemed like an obvious choice for me. It wasn’t daily workouts or bi-weekly manicures, spa treatments or vacations. I started working with someone (hi Jackie!) who helped me discover things that I had been holding onto for years, who helped me release expectations of myself, let go of comparison and the rat race and legit set me free. It’s been an amazing journey and one that has taught me so much about myself, what I need to protect my own body and mind, what actually matters and what makes me be the best version of myself I can be for the people around me. It’s been one of the most challenging experiences of my life but I feel so much lighter in ways that I can’t describe.
I’m going to talk about this more soon but one thing that has resonated with me so much is the idea of personal self worth. It’s something that I think has challenged a lot of us this year. Our own expectations of ourselves, how other perceive us and just generally feeling like there is something to prove at all times. “I AM an amazing mom, let me show you! I use every single hour of my day! I am excelling at work! I prepare amazing dinners every single night! My house is always clean! Of course I always look like this! Oh this? This is 4 day old hair! I ran 12 miles today! I don’t eat gluten! My kids are always well behaved! We have so many friends!”
CRASH. And if all these things ring true to you then GREAT!!! But if it doesn’t then that’s great, too! In a world where documenting everything is the only way to prove that it’s real – we’ve really lost sight of our own wellbeing. Our idea of self worth has been skewed by what social media and our peers deem worthy. It really makes me sad to think of the new mom I talk about in this post. A time in my life where nothing should matter but the baby in my arms and the husband by my side. It’s something that I’ve talked a lot about with Jackie, a traumatic experience that was actually the beginning of my journey to see the light.
I’ve learned so much about self worth this year, during a time where emotions are high and opinions are loud and it’s easy to be clouded by what everyone else is saying. Remember the importance of doing things for yourself, saying no when you want to and saying YES to things that actually make you happy, being silent or loud and remember the importance of resting and giving yourself a break. No one can tell you what your self worth is, that comes from you and you are worthy! Be your own cheerleader.
So, what does self worth mean to you?
For me it means being a good mom, daughter, sister and friend. It means being present with my family. It means saying “fuck it” when I need to. It means being true to the things that genuinely make me happy. It means living the life I want to live, separate from anyone’s opinions or expectations of me. It means checking in with myself and dedicating time to me. It means not basing the idea of self worth off of someone else’s definition. It means finding my sense of self and caring for it, nurturing it, cheering it on and celebrating it.
I just wanted to remind you that you are worthy of all of it.