Liz 13 days ago by Liz Adams

What Does Self Worth Mean to You?

Outfit details: Everlane Cardigan (wearing a small), ASOS Tank, Hatch Maternity Jeans, Tortoise Sunglasses, Golden Goose Sneakers, Chanel Boy Bag

What a year to question everything – am I right?

Last night, I re-read this post about finding your sense of self from last year. Not to brag but it’s a good one. It brought up so many memories and emotions about that phase in my life and overcoming a bump in the road. I related to it so much even in this year as all of 2020 has felt like a big road block.

I’ve done something this year that I’ve never done before. I’ve invested in myself in a way that never seemed like an obvious choice for me. It wasn’t daily workouts or bi-weekly manicures, spa treatments or vacations. I started working with someone (hi Jackie!) who helped me discover things that I had been holding onto for years, who helped me release expectations of myself, let go of comparison and the rat race and legit set me free. It’s been an amazing journey and one that has taught me so much about myself, what I need to protect my own body and mind, what actually matters and what makes me be the best version of myself I can be for the people around me. It’s been one of the most challenging experiences of my life but I feel so much lighter in ways that I can’t describe.

I’m going to talk about this more soon but one thing that has resonated with me so much is the idea of personal self worth. It’s something that I think has challenged a lot of us this year. Our own expectations of ourselves, how other perceive us and just generally feeling like there is something to prove at all times. “I AM an amazing mom, let me show you! I use every single hour of my day! I am excelling at work! I prepare amazing dinners every single night! My house is always clean! Of course I always look like this! Oh this? This is 4 day old hair! I ran 12 miles today! I don’t eat gluten! My kids are always well behaved! We have so many friends!”

CRASH. And if all these things ring true to you then GREAT!!! But if it doesn’t then that’s great, too! In a world where documenting everything is the only way to prove that it’s real – we’ve really lost sight of our own wellbeing. Our idea of self worth has been skewed by what social media and our peers deem worthy. It really makes me sad to think of the new mom I talk about in this post. A time in my life where nothing should matter but the baby in my arms and the husband by my side. It’s something that I’ve talked a lot about with Jackie, a traumatic experience that was actually the beginning of my journey to see the light.

I’ve learned so much about self worth this year, during a time where emotions are high and opinions are loud and it’s easy to be clouded by what everyone else is saying. Remember the importance of doing things for yourself, saying no when you want to and saying YES to things that actually make you happy, being silent or loud and remember the importance of resting and giving yourself a break. No one can tell you what your self worth is, that comes from you and you are worthy! Be your own cheerleader.

So, what does self worth mean to you?

For me it means being a good mom, daughter, sister and friend. It means being present with my family. It means saying “fuck it” when I need to. It means being true to the things that genuinely make me happy. It means living the life I want to live, separate from anyone’s opinions or expectations of me. It means checking in with myself and dedicating time to me. It means not basing the idea of self worth off of someone else’s definition. It means finding my sense of self and caring for it, nurturing it, cheering it on and celebrating it.

I just wanted to remind you that you are worthy of all of it.

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  1. Thank you SO much for sharing this, Liz! I finally met with my therapist yesterday for the first time since the pandemic started, and this was the exact topic we ended up talking about. It’s easy to put so much pressure on ourselves as moms/professionals/wives/friends/homeowners to keep everything ‘perfect’, but in reality it only causes burnout. I’m definitely learning that it’s okay to say “F it” to some things to keep my sanity. 🙂 Thank you for showing we’re all in the same boat!

  2. Love this post. Thanks for sharing. We need to repeat this like a credo, because we know it in the bottom of out hearts but we easily forget

  3. Yes I completely agree with all of it !! The last few months for me have more time for reflection of myself , and how I’m living my life . I’m actually learning to know more about myself , what I like and what I don’t . With that being said I am definitely much more firm on my decisions which was something I guess I was kinda bad at in a way . I’m happier being more decisive and knowing more of what makes me happy and what doesn’t ! And if it’s something that isn’t for me I can turn down and it feels sooo good ! I hope that makes sense . This post was great !!

  4. Thank you for this! Before covid, I had already felt a pull to distance away from most of my current friends and commitments because they didn’t serve us well. It felt so crummy to want to leave those things behind because of all the expectations.m, it made me feel like a bad person for wanting to retreat. But with quarantine, it gave me a natural break and chance to get rid of the expectations and full schedule and friendships that just drained me instead of filling my cup to be a better mom and woman. Ive found in the last few months, things that truly give me joy and make me rejuvenated, not the things I “think” should do those things because they work for society or friends. Ive reconnected with my husband and son, finding that the community outside our home, while it can serve a purpose and is important, is nothing compared to the joy I have within my own home and when I do things that make me really happy just for the sake of happiness instead of what I think i should. Its been so enlightening to explore what I actually want and need and enjoy in this season.

  5. This!! Thank you, Liz! For being so real and raw. It is so appreciated. I was just talking to my friend about this. We put so many pressures on ourselves as women and moms. Comparison is a real thing in our society especially with social media. You constantly feel this pressure to keep up, or what if I’m judged bc of this or that and it’s all lies we tell ourselves. We’re our own worst critic.

  6. This is such a great read and after checking out Jackie’s site, I completely relate to being a non stop human DOING. Thank you for sharing.