Shop the post: Everlane Silk Cotton Lantern Top (wearing a small), Denim Skirt (true to size), The Day Heel in Natural Suede (true to size), Day Market Tote in Light Taupe c/o Everlane

Shop the post: Everlane Silk Cotton Lantern Top (wearing a small), Denim Skirt (true to size), The Day Heel in Natural Suede (true to size), Day Market Tote in Light Taupe c/o Everlane

It’s funny to think about the Liz before I became a mom and the Liz now. Not that there is a huge difference in the person that I am but because my priorities, sense of self and general mindset on life are so different now. I don’t know if it is because I have two little humans to chase around or if time is more valuable but I feel like I’ve learned so much about myself over the past 4 years. I recently went back through some post suggestions you all submitted and one of them was about finding your sense of self outside of work, being a mom, partner, etc. And gosh, just typing that out makes you/us feel like we have so many jobs and only 24 hours in the day and it all just seems kind of daunting. But I think one major thing has happened to me since becoming a mom and that is a stronger sense of self confidence. This has ultimately given me the strength and confidence to turn down situations, people and things that 1. don’t make me happy or 2. I don’t want to do! Getting all of that negativity and fluff out of the way so I can focus on the things that DO make me happy (and maybe realizing what actually MAKES ME HAPPY) has been the most validating and uplifting change in my life. It’s also led me to see and be the person that I want to be! Society and social media puts all this pressure on you to be married and have kids or the job of your dreams and maybe own a house or for sure be paying off your credit card bill in full. But why? Is it really society or is it the effect that society has on us, trickling down to our own lives and our own insecurities? That’s where finding your sense of self is so important. 

But how do we get there? It doesn’t take having a baby. It’s just getting to a weak moment when you have no other choice but to give in to the person that you want/need to be! I’m going to explain how this happened to me. I work in social media. I post about my life every single day. Before I had kids my Instagram feed consisted of pretty lattes and peonies and the new designer handbag I just bought or a tiny corner of our apartment that I thought looked cute enough to post. It was exhausting—keeping up with the Joneses! That’s the problem with social media, it tends to remind us of what we don’t have so we have to publicly prove that, “This is what I do have! Wow isn’t it cool?!” It’s not. Fast forward nine months and I’m a new mom, exhausted, crying on the couch telling my husband how lonely I am, wearing mesh underwear, bleeding, trying to learn how to nurse a child, trying to cover my body because it was all mushy and all I saw on IG was the girl who loved motherhood, who just had a baby and looked like a model, who had the perfect home that would be more than I could ever dream of one day—but here I was, crying while I nursed my child at 3am and gazing out the window hoping to find another light on because that meant I wasn’t alone. For weeks and months after that I tried to keep up with the pretty Instagram photos that tricked everyone into believing that I was happy! Until one day I couldn’t do it anymore. So I stopped. And that’s the day I looked in the mirror, told myself out loud, “You can do this!” and I found my confidence, I found myself. I also found my purpose with sharing my life on the internets.

I’m crying typing that because it was such a hard time in my life. But I’m so so grateful for the change that it made for me! I know that a lot of you don’t post your life on Instagram the way that I do and that your moment of weakness will probably look very very different. But letting go of all the things that you feel like you should do and actually doing the things that you want to do, that make you happy, that you feel passionate about—that’s where you find your sense of self. It’s kind of like breaking through the walls to find who you’re truly meant to be. For me, that’s a mom. Not a travel blogger, not a Gucci clad fashionista, not an interior designer, and not all the images of a person that I thought I needed to be—just a mom who is behind on laundry, feeds her kids McDonalds, drinks too much wine and has dog hair in her mouth when she wakes up in the morning. My life isn’t perfect and sharing that has led me to find the most amazing friends on the internet, it has had the most positive effect on my marriage, it lets me put myself first sometimes and inspire other women to give themselves a break and do the same, and it has allowed me to take a deep breath and let go of all the bullshit. So although the old Liz was great, I like this version of me a lot more. 

How do you feel about these topics? A little too much or exactly what you need? I always hope that by sharing my experience it can help you too!

Also, side note: A huge thank you to Everlane for sponsoring this post. They didn’t sign up for this emotional story (ha!) but their pieces always make me feel confident and I can’t recommend their brand, their mission and just everything about them enough. Thanks for supporting my partners, too!