Ask Liz 14 days ago by Liz Adams

Coffee with Liz • April 19, 2024

Top favorite 5 songs ever!

Wow this is hard! Trying to think of songs that if they come on I will never change them ever. John Mayer 3×5 and In The Blood, Van Morrison Cleaning Windows, Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow Picture, Adele I Drink Wine, Tedeshi Trucks Band Bound for Glory. Follow me on Spotify here!

What do you love most about being in Charleston?

Oh so much! The people, the history, the weather, the smell of the air (perfect mix of ocean and pines), the food, the architecture, the slower pace, the appreciation people have to live there.

Hm, to be honest I don’t really shop through influencers and I think that helps. I don’t like to be influenced by what is “in style.” I don’t really have an “in style” personal style. I would say there are sometimes trends that I jump on but I generally just try to buy and wear the things that bring me joy. I browse a lot and save a lot of refer back to the things that really make me excited to wear them. I love detail and color and items that are feminine. I think a good exercise is to go through your closet and pull out the items that you really love (even if they are special occasion and you never wear them) and go with that!

How are Charlie and George doing with their new beds?

They are SO HAPPY! I thin it has been really special for Jack to be the “big brother” in the room with George. He is taking his job so seriously and walks George into the room every morning or we’ve found him rubbing his back in bed to slowly wake him up. Charlie is thrilled to have his own room and bigger bed. But they all also love that their rooms are connected. Charlie told Jack he could sleepover any time (haha so sweet) and honestly it’s just been so much better than I dreamed it could be.

Where did Charlie, Jack, and George’s names come from?

In short, they are all names we really liked. The name Charlie came because Dave and I both agreed that we had never met a Charlie that wasn’t just a happy person. Jack had been one of my favorites for a long time and George was our hardest decision (he didn’t have a name for the 2 days we were in the hospital) but I am so happy we settled on George! He is such a Georgie.

What do you wish you knew in your transition from two to three kids? How did you decide to have a third?

I always wanted a third (I am the oldest of three). I don’t think I wish I knew anything but I definitely think the transition to 3 was hard. Not hard in a way that you aren’t prepared for it but I just felt very spread thin. Like hard to keep up with life and being a good mom to all my children and taking care of myself. It’s not that more children is harder from a what to expect perspective, it just thins you out a little more. And granted George was 7 weeks old when we moved to Charleston and that was a whole other layer of postpartum and new mom stage but it was hard. I lost a lot of myself when I had George but I also found a new version of myself in Charleston, as a mom and business owner, from a place of grace and acceptance. I am so happy right now. I’m so happy with what being a mom to three boys has brought me. I think a big part of expanding your family is surrender, in a beautiful way. Less control, more freedom to breathe and enjoy and let go and savor life just as it is.

How do you find the motivation to get stuff done when life is overwhelming and you are tired?

I give myself a break to zone out if/when needed and then I do it because I know I’ll feel better on the other side. I function better when my life is organized and in order but also recognize when I need to lay down and chill. Again, I’m over being all in on one or the other. It doesn’t have to be so extreme (talking to myself) and I realize now that when I do get into that zone it leads to burn out, more stress and just chaos in our house.

Also random side note, your life doesn’t constantly need to look like the pretty pictures we see online. Whether that is how much you exercise, how clean your house is, how perfect your bed is made, how healthy your dinners are, etc. None of it matters because your life is yours and that’s it!

Best advice and tips that you received when you were a first time mom! Splurge vs. save advice in terms of baby gear and nursery too!

You’re never really prepared. I think there is so much pressure to KNOW IT ALL and the truth is, you don’t know until you’re in the experience yourself. So my best advice is to trust your intuition when it comes to your child and being a parent to your child.

Splurge on the stuff that gets put to work – strollers, car seats, loungers and save on all the stuff that can easily be replaced. There is so much stuff that you feel like you need before the baby arrives and I’m telling you, your baby is going to decide what bottle they like, pacifier they prefer, etc. Don’t try to be too prepared aside from the splurges because the saves can always come later.

Advice for making friends in your thirties?

Don’t wait for plans to come to you, make the plans! Start up conversation! Volunteer, get involved, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. The ones that become your friends will be grateful that you did!

What moments make you feel like a midwesterner living in the south?

You’d be surprised how many transplants live in Charleston! I RARELY every feel like a midwesterner living in the south. However, there are moments when people ask about church or strong political views that I don’t agree with but honestly I’m at the age where I’m not afraid to stand up for my own beliefs. I’m over being intimidated by being/feeling different than someone else.

How do you and Dave make time to connect and talk other than dates? Are you still in couples therapy?

We are not still in couples therapy but we talk about takeaways from it at least every week still! I would say we talk a lot, we say what is on our minds, we go out to lunch and go for walks and carve out time to check in with each other. It’s so important and when we are in a good groove so is our entire family.

Something that you are really proud of yourself for!

Moving to Charleston!

Advice you’d give yourself looking back (single, pre-kids)!

Trust yourself! It’s okay if what you’re doing looks different than you thought it would. Believe in your path.

Do you sleep?! From one working mom to another – advice, tips and tricks please!

Haha yes but honestly only because if I didn’t allocate time to sleep I would be dead. I go to bed at 8pm most nights. Right after I put the kids down I clean up the house and I’m in bed. I really don’t watch TV. I mom, I clean, I exercise, I cook, I work and I sleep. No time for anything else! One day!

Ideas of meals to bring to families with new babies?

Taco Bowl Casserole, Easy Homemade Enchiladas, Roasted Vegetable and Goat Cheese Farfalle, Chicken Pesto Ravioli.

How did you get back into running after having kids? My bladder can’t handle it!

First of all pelvic floor therapy was ESSENTIAL! But just consistency. Start small and don’t expect to run a 5k your first run. A big part of finding the strength to run longer and faster was lifting weights. But truly I was never one to feel physically fit overnight. It is always a 1-2 year process for me to really get “in shape” because I can’t be extreme. So give yourself grace and time!

Feedback on microneedling experience!

I have been so happy with the results! You do 3 rounds together and I have my last one in a couple weeks. I notice the biggest difference in the texture and overall pigment of my skin. My deep lines have softened, too. I am not ready to do a laser and I think this is a good alternative to really boosting collagen (they say it increases your collagen production up to 400% after 3 rounds!).

What is the biggest challenge you are facing with your kids right now?

Not really a big challenge but I think just adjusting to changing ages and attitudes. Charlie is definitely getting a little “too cool” some days and is learning new things at school and it demands new versions of us as parents. I think just making sure their foundations are strong and they have the ability to go out into the world and make good choices. So not necessarily a challenge with the kids (because they really are at such great ages!) but just new phases!

How’s sweet George doing with Speech and OT? At what age did you seriously consider it for him?

He is doing so so great!! It is a slow and steady incline but lately he has been chatting so much more. It feels like he has really turned a corner with communication. We had him evaluated at 2 for speech delays because he really wasn’t saying any sorts of noises at all. We then learned he also had some fine motor delays so started therapies when he was 2 years and 4 months old. He has had 2 sessions a week since then! I think starting school in August has also helped so much. I’m so proud of him and we love our therapists so so so much.

How do you find balance with a young family?

Dave and I both carve out things to do for ourselves (like exercise for example) and happily handle the kids solo when the other needs to tap out. And we all have so much fun together! We are good about giving each other space when we need it but also spend so much time together. I don’t know, we just have a good groove. Again I think that comes from open communication of needs, dedicated time with the kids and just putting each other first but also not holding guilt for doing things on our own.

Something you appreciate about Dave!

He never makes anything feel like a big deal. Like if I have a task or deadline that feels daunting to me he is the first to talk me out of it. He isn’t a procrastinator and is the first to drop everything to help someone else. He really is such an incredible partner.