shop this look: Le Lion Cardigan, Mille Francesca Blouse, B Sides Jeans, Bottega Veneta Medium Acro Tote
I read this quote last week and paused to reread it again and again and again. I love when words catch you like that. Be where your feet are. I often feel like my brain gets caught preparing too much for what’s to come or wishing I did things differently in the past. Instead of being in the moment. I think it’s a control issue? Like we feel safe controlling what we can control and when we are in a place of enjoyment we feel like we’re dropping the ball somewhere else. Whyyyy. I am determined to repeat this phrase whenever I feel the need to let my mind unnecessarily escape the moment that I am in.
My girlfriend and I went on a walk the other day and talked about the stress that we carry as women. Outside of just normal life we are also anticipating emotions, trying to make things easier for everyone and planning things before they happen. For example, I returned from our trip to California so ready to tackle my to-do list, exercise, get our house in order, cook and I was slapped in the face with sickness I haven’t felt in maybe years. A reminder to not get ahead of yourself, set too high of expectations and literally just be where your feet are. It is hard thing to let go of control but there is also a part of it that feels really freeing and like coming up for air. I walked downstairs this morning after not getting out of bed at all yesterday (Dave was on kid duty while I was sick) and holy cow our house was a shit show. BUT, I thought about how attentive Dave was yesterday with me and how much laughter I heard from the kids playing and you know what, who cares what the house looks like. Some days we are surviving and some days we are thriving and we’re all just doing our best. I need to remind myself of that – every day we are just doing the best that we can on that particular day.
Control. It’s a real beast in my mind. So many of the chats I had with my girlfriend about life and our relationships with our husbands circled back to control. And usually the control spikes when I’m feeling out of control. Another reason why be where your feet are is going to be a phrase I try to repeat again and again. Because the more I push for something to be or go a particular way, the more unstable and out of control things around me feel. The best we can do is take it day by day. Because then I know how this goes, a whole year will go by and I’ll have focused so much on controlling certain situations or looking ahead that I feel like I completely missed everything. UGH you guys, these little brain dumps are literally my mind swirling around in all different directions, trying to talk myself off the ledge but also maybe hopefully be helpful for you?
Another area where I’m trying to give myself grace is showing up everywhere all the time. For example, I am stretching myself thin with work right now. I don’t have an assistant at the moment (I’ll be hiring soon!) and I get really down on myself when I go days without posting on the blog here. And I question if people even enjoy visiting this space much anymore? But it feels like my home and I love it and I want to create content that brings you here and encourages you to stay awhile. But the truth is brands only want content on Instagram – it is immediate satisfaction with less clicks and traffic is high. But HAF will always have a place here so I just want to be better about creating content that brings you here. But again, as in all areas of life, there is no one setting expectations for myself but me. Be where your feet are can also be a reminder to slow down, do what you can and show up the best that you can!
I guess all this to say that it’s okay if you’re not manifesting big things yet this year or setting big goals for yourself. I think my best work is done when I concentrate on the present instead of pushing myself to constantly be doing more. And if you get caught up in the control, SAME. And I wish I had a way where we could redirect that control to just being in the present moment. Right now.