Self Love 7 months ago by Liz Adams

Seasons of Life

Something special about this blog is that I have so many posts to look back on during different seasons of my life. I have the ability to see turning points, where I’ve changed, where I’ve grown or where I’ve sort of slipped away. I’ve realized that writing here has really helped me navigate these shifts and changes. I’ve been feeling heavy in this particular season of life. Wanting to do it all and feeling like I’m failing at everything. Raising three very active boys, finding less time to work and rest and even less time to dedicate towards relationships. I once heard someone say that your life is made up of different chapters and this particular chapter has been challenging.

I miss friends. I miss giving myself the permission to focus on my friendships. I told Dave it is like we are living two separate lives – one on George’s schedule and one with the big boys.

I miss having energy to do the things that bring me joy.

One thing I’ve learned about myself over the past couple years is how important communication is for my mental health. Communication with Dave and communication with myself. Being honest about my feelings before they explode into resentment, guilt or regret. I think it is interesting that we are constantly working towards “self-help” – reading all the books, listening to podcasts, saving quotes – without actually having conversations with ourselves. We want someone else to fix the situation or tell us what to do without actually thinking hard enough about what we need. I’m grateful that these blog posts serve as a form of journaling for me, a way to get out my head. Speaking these internal conversations out loud has helped me feel less alone in these challenges and I hope it serves the same for you.

As someone who really likes to be in control of situations, I am reminded that these seasons or chapters have no real end point. They blend into the next and come back in different ways. I have found myself waiting for the seasons to change without really enjoying them. Rushing through moments that feel hard, trying to distract myself with other forms of productivity or just holding onto the stress that it brings. Instead of letting myself sink into them, be what I need to be during this particular season and enjoying it for what it is. I keep looking at this photo of a Camellia flower that I walk by in the mornings, all the layers blooming. Each petal stands alone but together they make up something beautiful. Such is the chapters and seasons of our life.

I want to look at my life as this flower. Each part is beautiful in its own way. A reminder that the hard chapters add up to something beautiful and strong. We are strong. We provide and we love and we care for. Even on the days that feel draining I have to remind myself that everything I’m doing is giving love and life to three little humans. And those feelings will carry them forever.

**something magical happens when I sit down to write these posts. From the first word to the last, so much clarity happens for me in between. It may not always make sense but I hope that me sharing these feelings helps you connect to your own.

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  1. Thank you for sharing 💕 this was so nice to read on a Monday morning, and the visual of the flower is a great analogy for our chapters and the bigger picture. Much love to you and your family!

  2. I always think of this quote when I am going through the same and it really helps me regroup and focus on what is important. Because it is true!

    “Our hearts are made for you, O Lord, and ever restless will they be, until they rest in you.” St. Augustine in his book “confessions”

    We looks to fill everything in our lives with things or like you said above rush through it when really what our hearts are longing for is time with the one who created us!

  3. I never reply to blog posts but this hit at the exact moment it needed to. I have to reframe my mindset and look at the changes about to happen in my life as just another chapter. It won’t come without it’s challenges but i will push through. Thanks for sharing your path and how you feel about it.

  4. Thank you for sharing this. I have been feeling the same way the last couple of weeks and knowing that everyone – no matter what season or chapter – has similar feelings and thoughts and struggles makes me feel less alone. A great way to start my Monday!

  5. I literally said this same line aloud this morning- there’s Seasons of life. I have a very active young boy too, and he keeps us hopping. Honestly, age 6 feels more challenging than the baby age. With the loss of a parent two three years ago who was my best friend, life hasn’t been the same for relationships. I felt the need to pull away and just have some silence. Anyway, this was a lovely blog post, love the flower, and I hope you know- you’re not alone. I’m glad you and Dave share. It’s very comforting to see parents feeling similarly too. ALL THE BEST!

    1. I read this comment in the middle of the night here in Australia in between wakings with my sick toddler. The line you wrote, ‘I felt the need to pull away and just have some silence’ is exactly what I’ve been feeling about my family of origin and the pressure they’ve been putting on me lately. Thank you for giving this wording to how I am feeling, I’ve been thinking about it all morning.

  6. Sending you love during this chapter. Life is a constant juggle between being challenging and beautiful. And often it’s a bit of both! Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty <3

  7. Liz, this is beautifully written and was just what I needed to read this morning. The feeling that we are constantly rushing through life, looking forward to the next chapter is something that, I think, is very universal. Taking pause to stop, reflect and give ourselves permission to be who we are, exactly where we are in this moment of our lives, is something we need to do more often. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably.

  8. I just started following you and actually work with Megan in Colorado. I am really enjoying your posts. Thank you.