Ask Liz about 1 month ago by Liz Adams

Coffee with Liz • October 22, 2021

What’s the concept for your podcast with Dave (“Just Ignore It”)? Will it be interview format or based on questions from readers?

It will just be casual conversation between us. Talking about our relationship, parenting, maybe work topics, phases of life, experiences, growth. We will definitely be taking feedback from readers/listeners about episode topics, too!

What would you tell your younger self now that you’ve experienced/learned some of life’s lessons?

Trust your intuition. The rest will follow.

What Instagram filters and/or presets do you use for your photos?

I use Lightroom and it is completely random! I generally like my photos brighter, less shadows, more black, less green and more warmth.

How do you approach discipline with your kids? Dealing with a VERY strong-willed 3-year-old over here.

Oh I have been there and it’s SO HARD. With Charlie I felt like we worked so hard to get him to listen and understand where we were coming from and nothing worked. With Jack, we’ve realized that they are 3 and they just don’t get it or aren’t old enough to put effort into understanding. So we really try to stay calm and tell him that what he is doing is not acceptable and give him the opportunity to calm down and realize that his behavior is wrong. It sucks and honestly you go into these situations having no idea what will be learned. Some times is takes 5 minutes and sometimes it takes hours. But remember there is no rush and patience as a parent is EVERYTHING.

Any suggestions for black-tie dresses to wear to weddings this season?

I love the Ginger dress from Camilyn Beth, this dress is gorgeous and $88 and this sequin maxi is amazing for upcoming holiday black tie events (and a great price!).

Why is your style so expensive now? I miss your lower price points and more achievable style.

First of all I want to say that I completely understand where you’re coming from. I think compared to a lot of influencers in this space, I am definitely not accommodating when it comes to all price points. But honestly, that’s not my motive. Not only do I not have the time to find items from all price points to give you options (it’s so time consuming, props to my friends that do!) but I also just don’t care to…

I spent many years shopping from the fast fashion retailers to give you options. I would wear those items once or twice and they would never look the same or were ready for donation. I got sick of recommending items that I didn’t respect the quality. Are the things I wear more expensive? Absolutely, yes. Am I shopping as much as I used to? Absolutely, no way. Long story short, I don’t want to recommend items that I personally put in the donation pile after two wears.

If you’re looking for someone to always give you options, I am not that influencer. I want my style to inspire you to find your own. Getting a commission on a recommendation isn’t worth it for me. I completely understand and RESPECT you if that doesn’t make you click through to my posts. You do you, girlfriend! But I don’t want to be the influencer that accommodates everyone. I can barely accommodate my own family. So I’m here to share my style and what makes me happy. I hope you respect that.

How do you keep your light-colored couch clean?

Lots of vacuuming and FOLEX.

What skincare products have you been using + loving lately?

Ohh good question and I’ve been meaning to do an updated post! These exfoliating wipes are my HOLY GRAIL. I use probably 3X a week. I just finished this cleanser which completely flushes out your skin and makes it feel squeaky clean and ready for your other products. I’m also OBSESSED with these makeup towels, they take your cleanser to the next level. Vintner’s Daughter Active Botanical Serum is incredible (I need to repurchase). Legit makes you GLOW and also makes me fall asleep like a baby because it smells like a dream. I’ve been using this RMS Radiance primer and really loving it. I put it on before my foundation.

Looking for a cute, neutral midi dress for family photos! Any ideas?

I love this one and this one! Throw over a cozy cardigan for some texture and dimension.

What are some of your favorite products (toys, gear, etc) for Webster? And where did the name Webster come from?

Webster doesn’t have much gear anymore. He sort of lays low and has never really been a ‘toy’ dog. He honestly just loves to be around humans and sleeping on a couch, ha! Webster is named Webster because when Dave bought him he lived on Webster Avenue in Chicago.

What is your prediction for each of your kids’ careers?

Charlie will be an architect or builder of some sort, Jack will be Justin Bieber and George is going to live with me forever. All George wants to do all day is hug me and nuzzle is head into my shoulder.

Recommendations for a timeless investment bag, please!

Celine Belt Bag. I personally like the Micro size!

Were you ever one the fence about having a third kid and do you think you’ll go for #4?

I have always wanted 3. Dave would have been done after Jack but he is soooo happy we went for 3. Georgie is a special little angel baby. That being said, 4 is probably not in the cards. I still bring it up here and there but ultimately I don’t think it will happen. I’m like 80% no, 20% maybe. But we are finally, maybe getting into a groove with 3 and that feels like a huge success right now. I’m very happy right where we are.

Favorite clothing and home stores in Charleston?

Clothing: Hampden Clothing, Monkees of MP, Lake Pajamas and I’ve heart great things about Beckett Boutique but haven’t been in. Home: Celadon, GDC + Mitchell Hill are top of mind!

Did any of your kids refuse a bottle? How did you work through it?

George did for a bit! I recruited the help of Bumble Baby and Kate was so incredible helpful!! I’m not going to give away her tips because that wouldn’t be fair since it’s her business but I highly recommend reaching out to her. She did a video consult with me, helped us with bottle type, etc. and it was so helpful.

What are you currently doing for exercise?

I usually workout 5x a week and do a mix of bike cardio, running and strength training. Usually it is cardio 3x a week and strength 2x a week.

I’m looking for some low-heeled shoes for my upcoming wedding in February in Florida. I don’t want to spend a fortune on shoes that people may not see, but I still wanna feel classy. What would you suggest?

THESE!!!!!

Favorite weekender bag?

The Cuyana weekender is a favorite + the Paravel Grand Tour is actually on my Christmas list! Mark & Graham has some great travel bags on their site, too!

Send your questions for future Coffee with Liz posts to [email protected]!

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  1. I always enjoy reading your coffee with Liz! Thank you so much. I also really appreciate that you are not posting fast fashion. I’ve come to realize I have spent so much money over the years on “cheaper” clothes that do not hold up! I have found as I start to develop my style I have enjoyed investing in pieces that I LOVE and feel good in and that I can wear year to year. I’ve really come to appreciate curating my closet and investing in quality, not quantity!

  2. Fast fashion is really bad for the environment too! I’d rather spend more for fewer, better things that feel great, look nice and last.

  3. I appreciate that you don’t purchase or want to support fast fashion, but your response was incredibly rude, privileged, and dismissive. I’m a little floored by it, honestly.

    1. I think you’re reading it that way! I don’t think it was rude, it was honest. The influencer space is enormous and there are so many amazing women who give options at every price point. We all choose to and are able to spend our money however we choose, however it fits into our own lives. You may spend $100 on 5 items where I spend $100 on one. That’s your choice! All I’m saying is that it’s a lot of time and energy that I don’t have anymore to provide a bunch of options and alternatives. At one point in my life, when I had more time to scroll the internets and find items for you, I truly enjoyed doing so! But at this point I really rely on the items I buy to be good quality because I wear them a lot. My closet isn’t filled with items. It’s curated and that makes me happy.

      I don’t want to have to defend what I spend on my style nor should you ever feel like you’re in a place to do the same. It is what it is. Am I privileged to be able to spend money on my style? I mean YES? I don’t know what answer you want from me here. But I think it’s disrespectful to leave a comment like this. Again, no one is forcing you to be here.

    2. I completely disagree! I thought the way she worded it (and has before on Instagram) was understanding of the fact that most people cannot shop the items from her closet. Myself included! But I don’t follow Liz for shopping tips, so I still happily read her blog and follow her on Instagram. We shouldn’t judge women who have gotten to the place in their careers/financial lives who choose to spend more money than we would (or can) on clothing (or anything else). If that’s what works for her and her family and she’s not passing judgement on her followers who aren’t buying those things, I don’t see how she’s in the wrong at all.

      1. I think sometimes what makes it hard to follow you to your more expensive price point is the past partnership with Walmart. That was not a fit for you, yet you pushed it so hard. Especially when you were supposedly wearing a walmart dress etc. We knew that was never your “brand” so it was terribly off putting. I respect that your tase is expesive and I have lots of things that I’ve purchased because you posted (the patagonia 3 in 1 coat is still one of my favorite purchases along with countless sweaters and blouses)! Perhaps you attraced more followers during your walmart season of the blog so to go from that to a $500+ dress is a bit jarring. Just as it was jarring for some who have followed you for quite some time being alarmed when you were trying to hock Walmart… You lost a bit of your point of view there for a while and it feels like you are coming back to yourself (which is great!).

        1. I get it! But Walmart, Amazon – they are all the same. I think it’s hard, as an influencer, to be pulled in different directions to appeal to everyone or to provide what everyone is asking of you. I think it’s a lot of trial and error and eventually realizing that I am who I am and I want to work with the partners that truly reflect myself and my brand. I really appreciate you sticking with me.

          1. Hi Liz! I have to laugh because I still love one of the Wal Mart plaid sweaters you posted during Christmas 2019-as well as some of your much higher price point pieces along the way. Just because you post it doesn’t mean your followers have to click and buy it-no matter what the price point. Your honest point of view and great style are what draws me here. I found your response entirely honest and authentic-that’s all it needs to be. Keep doing you. Your posts on what you’re going through in life hold much more value than any piece of clothing. Most bloggers wouldn’t dare to share that raw content, and it is what matters so much. For that, Thank You❤️

      2. Hi Liz – I appreciate your posts and love seeing your cute family! However, your comment was insensitive. You have made a lot of money from your followers and now you are telling us to follow other people bc “you don’t want to be the influencer that accommodates everyone”.. I am lucky enough to be able to spend the money on things you wear but unfortunately you have lost me as a reader/follower.

        1. I’m sorry you feel that way! Unfortunately I’m just stating the truth in the stage of life that I am in. I physically can’t be the influencer that accommodates everyone. You will be missed!

  4. I have followed you for years, and have always trusted your recommendations. I have noticed, like everyone, that your style got more expensive. However, mine has too. Not because of you, but because I curated what I love to wear, and I decided to invest in a Vince funnel neck cashmere sweater as opposed to buying 10 Target patterned sweaters that looked great on others and not on me. You have continued to introduce me to great brands, and I am now obsessed with incredible pieces such as Sea and The Great. I will admit, there are some times I am surprised at how much a dress can cost, but that doesn’t mean I am ever allowed to judge anyone for spending their money that way. Just because I can’t or won’t doesn’t mean others follow that. This essay is here to say, I fully support investing in the classics and your tried and true style. I appreciate not being shown 12 items a day honestly, as I have no self control and would likely buy the poorly made clothing if you showed it to me since we have such similar style. I’d rather have one/twice a month posts of the classics/investments that I can keep for years to come.

  5. To be fair, as I’ve reached my 30’s, now married and higher up in my career, I think it’s normal to start buying some higher quality items. I have two of the Loeffler Randall sweaters and I have worn them by far the most out of any other cheapo sweaters so I feel I’ve really gotten my moneys worth.

  6. I’ve followed your blog and IG for years! love it. That said, the way you answered this question *did* give me pause. I get it – I invest in pieces, and how I invest has changed over the years too. There is NOTHING wrong with that. But I would just rethink your wording a bit, especially since you’re talking to your audience that helped you eventually get to the position to be able to make these decisions for yourself! Someone like me, who has watched you go from living in Chicago and posting more “reasonable” (subjective) clothing options, to now posting a Shopbop outfit that is estimated at over $1k like it’s NBD – it actually is a big deal. That’s a lot of money. Again, I’m still a fan and will continue to support your business, but my friendly suggestion is to just soften your tone. The whole “if you don’t like it you can leave” just doesn’t work, especially when you’ve worked hard to cultivate a community that wants to feel they still belong.

    1. I totally understand! I’m not going to change the text now but I think after receiving multiple messages this week or questions asking HOW and WHY, I was feeling defensive. I’m so grateful for you all and your support.

  7. I think when people ask “how can you afford that?” or some similar question, they are (in some cases, and I’m just guessing but I’m a therapist so I’m pretty good at this stuff) feeling left out, apart from, etc. Like what I have I done wrong? Or, I thought I shared values with this person on the internet but maybe that isn’t true. Or, I thought this was someone that understood my life but they don’t at all. I can see myself get caught in it too. I see someone who at 35 has 3 children (it took me 8 years to have 1), has a pretty expensive home, interior design team, beautiful clothes, super loving and supportive family, etc all while appearing to have so much quality time with her kids, time for daily exercise and I think “this person does not get it, they do not get ‘real’ life”. You don’t need to get it though; my point is that we can all be guided by our emotions. I imagine it could just be a little rapid fire on the receiving end given that you share your life online with thousands of people. It makes sense to be defensive. Also, I think sometimes people are in their feelings.

  8. So the convo about your clothing choices and their price points made me think about something Grace said in the most recent (birthday-focused) episode on the Bad on Paper podcast, about seeing what younger influencers are doing on TikTok, etc., and what they’re wearing, and no longer feeling relevant. I laughed and understood exactly where she was coming from, but also felt like sure, she’s maybe not relatable to a 22 year old, but she is to me as I rapidly approach 40, and to a whole lot of others too.

    The clothing thing seems the same to me…we’re not 25 anymore and our choices reflect that. It’s not as clear cut as that because obviously not everyone of the same age has the same clothing budget, but generally speaking, I think it’s fair to say that getting older means caring less about trends, buying more expensive, better quality clothes, and buying less of them. Quite a few other bloggers do Amazon round ups etc., and zero shade to them, but it’s not relevant to me…so I just ignore it, focus on the content that I do find interesting and relatable, and everyone is happy.

    That said, I think CV’s comment about people feeling left out is really interesting, because it is so easy to compare oneself with others and feel like we’re doing it wrong if they have something we think we should have. Especially in the States, where the wealth disparity is so marked and the culture tends to be quite consumption-focused. Different people can afford different things, and that doesn’t make anyone ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than anyone else – it’s got nothing to do with one’s value as a person. Liz, I think your advice to anyone feeling left behind is perfect in this regard!

    Finally, to round out the world’s longest comment, I do think it’s okay to buy less expensive clothing, and even ‘fast fashion’ if you do it responsibly…I have pants from H&M that I’ve been wearing for years and they’re still going strong. It’s about knowing what you like and what you will keep wearing for years to come, and what an item of clothing is constructed from, even more than price point. Once you know that, the (clothing) world is your oyster really.

  9. Hey Liz! I have followed you for the last six years, and you’re my favourite. I watched your Instagram stories, and honestly, it’s really sad you have to go on there and explain yourself. You’re allowed to buy what you want, and share what you want, however you want. This is YOUR account. If people aren’t happy with it, or if people can’t afford specific pieces you share.. then who cares?! They can use it for inspiration next time they go shopping! Thank you for being the realest influencer on Instagram. I’m serious. I follow a lot of them, and I even have my own little blog in the book community, and you are the realest and admire your strength and perseverance to follow what you want to do and not apologize for it. You weren’t rude in your post, comments or stories. People on the internet are very entitled and believe influencers/bloggers owe them something. It’s just not that deep 🙂 keep doing you!

  10. I think it’s tough because part of your brand and what drew women to you (at least IMO) was being the “down to earth” and relatable influencer. It’s harder to relate when it seems like your lifestyle/budget changed, and like another commenter mentioned, wondering (on the other side of the phone screen as someone who doesn’t know the real you at all) if you recognize the privilege you have and that some of that relatability has been lost, and has since been replaced with envy and maybe a little mistrust like, hey what happened there? I love the journey you’ve been on this past year and celebrate you from afar for putting your needs and wants first as that is huge (and more important than if you lose a few followers). You don’t need to apologize for your success. Plus I think we all stick around because you’re still way more real and genuine than most influencers (this morning’s laundry story in point ;-)). Just wanted to share some perspective because as a long-time follower, these are thoughts I know I’ve had, and I think it’s helpful to know that you too are reflecting on your position and impact. All the best to you!

  11. Sounds like you’ve received a lot of support already but wanted to also just send mine along too. For what it’s worth, I follow a lot of influencers and most of what they purchase and share are way out of my budget. Additionally, (and absolutely no offense) your fashion is not anything I could pull off. Do I love many of your outfits? Yes, but I also know they wouldn’t work for me. I’m a plain Jane Jennifer Aniston type that basically wears a variety of neutral tones with no prints.

    But I’m also not following you to actually be influenced. I follow people like you because they make me feel like I have this weird sense of community even though they have no idea who I am. But as a mom to a crazy 2.5 year old boy, I now look to follow other moms who have the same morals and values as I do and who I feel are just very real and down to earth, depicting how wonderful and messy life can be, and really not in this business to earn crazy amounts of money but more so because they love what they do and want to share their passion with others.

    Also, as we get older our sense of what feels like a logical amount to spend on clothes changes. Would I have bought two pairs (or even one pair) of Loeffler Goldy boots for myself 5 years ago? No, but I’m now 34 and completely know that I’m gonna waste my money buying cheap boots that will hurt and I won’t love as much. Should that money have maybe been put into my sons college fund instead? Probably, but we all need to treat ourselves sometimes.

    I recently listened to part of the “Under the Influence” podcast and found it fascinating. I have always respected influencers and the amount of work they put into their jobs but this gave me so much more admiration for the career because I was able to see that this industry was built on strong women who are double down on the fact that society has oppressed women for centuries and Instagram gave moms the ability to say “okay, you wanna pay me less because I’m a women?” Or made a woman feel like they were a failure for choosing to work outside of the home, and also a failure if they chose to be a stay at home mom which is damn hard. It’s a double edged sword living in a society where o matter what we do we are just never good enough. But along came influencers and said I’m going to make money off that and laugh all the way to the bank.

    Anyways, that was a rant of a bunch of random thoughts but I think you’re wonderful and really should not have to justify anything to anyone. Keep being you…I really feel your energy through the phone and live that you’ve really found your sweet spot in every aspect of lofe. Your confidence radiates!

  12. Long time follower here as well! Just a quick question. You write: “Getting a commission on a recommendation isn’t worth it for me…” but don’t you still have commissionable links in your content and make money off of that format?

    1. I link what I’m wearing or similar items, yes! I am saying I’m not looking to spam you with options or recommendations just to get a commission! Does that make sense?

  13. Hi Liz! I love that you are incredibly honest and OWN your personal clothing / style decisions! It’s refreshing and honestly, trustworthy. There are items I cannot afford, personally, but I appreciate your hard work, style, and honesty. I respect your personal choices and hope others do too. And I’m still inspired by you! 🙂 XOXO