Motherhood about 1 year ago by Liz Adams

Why I’m Scared To Have Another Baby

Liz Adams of Sequins & Stripes talks about motherhood and why she is scared to have another baby.We are less than 4 weeks away from our due date with baby boy #2 and I’m starting to feel all of the feels. It took me awhile to come to terms with my roll as “mom” and now I have to transition to “mom of two!” It sometimes feels like this heavy weight is looming over my head and I’m just waiting for the bubble to burst.

I think the biggest issue for me is how in the world could I love another human as much as I love Charlie. I told my mom it sounds like something that the oldest child of 3 siblings would say (ha!) but it’s true. Charlie is my life. My whole entire life packed into this 25 lb little human.

A little story: when I was pregnant with Charlie I got an astrology/birth reading, aura thing done (and I am not really into that stuff). Everything that was said was very accurate about myself in regards to personality, my childhood, events, etc. When she addressed my pregnancy, she told me I was going to have a boy (which we didn’t know what we were having, we were surprised with Charlie) and she told me something else that has stuck with me since that day. She told me that although every mother loves their child with their entire being, she saw something special with my aura. That my love for the baby in my belly was going to be bigger than the average mother’s love.

It was something that at the time I thought “of course! I’ll be a mom and this will be my child. Duh!” It wasn’t until I struggled with postpartum depression that I remembered what she said – that you are going to to love this human more than most can handle (what she said helped me get through some of my darker days) and I honestly feel that way. I’m sure all of you mamas do but it is something inside of me that feels debilitating. My every movement, thought, decision and choice revolves around Charlie. It’s something that I can’t help. He is my everything. My life has taken a back seat because my genuine happiness sits in his hands. It’s amazing and also terrifying. 

Throughout this pregnancy I have had a reoccurring dream that I’m in the hospital delivering this baby and once he is here I start crying out for Charlie. Like I just miss him so much and want him to be the one that I’m holding. Ugh, I’m scared for that (and also, am I going crazy?? probably). This pregnancy has been a little different in that I haven’t thought about this sweet boy as much. With Charlie I was CONSTANTLY checking apps, reading books, asking questions – and with this one I’m just focused on Charlie. Clearly my anxiety is expressing itself through my dreams. Mama’s of two kiddos, is this normal? How did you feel before baby #2’s arrival?

So, how will Charlie adjust to half of my attention? Will he act out? Will he feel sad? I don’t want him to be sad. We have such a groove going and I don’t want things to change. On the other end, my siblings are my best friends and I want Charlie to have that too. I know in the end it will be the greatest gift that we could ever give him. I know from experience. 

If motherhood has taught me anything it is that you think you are comfortable with one phase and then everything shifts. I guess that is the only way I feel confident in myself with baby #2. A shift is coming, I know that life will slow down, I know that our house is going to be a mess and I know I’m going to be exhausted. I feel more prepared this time around because I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel (read: sleep will come back, my body will come back, I can have wine).

After I had Charlie I think I went through this quarter life crisis where I assumed that everyone wanted me to be who I was at 24 and not a 30 year old mama covered in spit up with leaky boobs. This time around I feel so grateful to have such supportive followers who love my family as much (if not more! probably more 🙂 ) than me. I feel strong in my role and it makes me excited to welcome and nurture another sweet little angel boy into our family. What will he look like? I wonder if he will look like Charlie or someone completely different? Dave and I keep saying that this kiddo has some pretty big shoes to fill because Charlie has exceeded every expectation of parenthood. 

I guess feeling scared is normal. No one likes change (or do they? that would be a weird feeling) but you just have to embrace it. When life gets hectic and messy, this spot feels like my safe zone. So thank you for letting that be the case! As I continue to transition into this life as a wife, mama, business woman and part-time laundress, maid, dishwasher and cook, I can’t tell you how much it means to me to know that there is a support system right here. 

XOXO

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  1. Oh yes… We are creatures of habit and we don’t like the changes, esp. huge ones like welcoming a newborn which at the same time means life as we know it going upside down again. 😉
    But don’t be afraid mama, you’re older and wiser than in the 1st pregnancy, you have a great support system and a lot of love surrounding you so believe in the good old saying that everything will be fine in the end. 🙂

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  2. You are gonna make it mama, and so is that sweet little Charlie boy! I just had my second (two boys here, too!) in April. My oldest turned 3 in July and I had all the same fears and nerves you did…(My mom lives out of town and I wouldn’t let her come too early before having my second because I wanted time just me and my husband and my boy. I was sad for the time just the 3 of us to end!) ….how on earth could I love another baby as much as my first?!??? Impossible! But once that new little nugget arrives it just miraculously happens. Somehow your heart just makes more space for the most intense love for yet another human being. And I’m sure Charlie will go through phases adjusting to his new big brother role but, goodness, having the two boys together is more than a mama heart can handle. It’s just so wonderful. And I bet the two boys will just adore one another.
    We make time now to have one on one time with each of the kiddos, too and my oldest just loves it. We make a special plan when it just me and him and he equally loves “just the boys” time with his dad.

    Good luck to you mama- you can do this! Your boys will adore you, no matter what.

  3. I never really comment on blogs, but I was having some thoughts on this very topic this morning! (And I love your blog…) I have a 3.5 year old and a 7 month old. I remember the day I went to the hospital to deliver my son, the baby. I looked at my daughter who was sitting at the kitchen counter eating a bowl of cereal, and my eyes welled up. I knew that would be the last moment that I was just hers. I kissed her so many times before I left that day. This morning, months later, I watched my two babes sitting at the same kitchen counter eating their breakfast. My daughter sings to my son, “Shake your booty!” and he belly laughs at her. It’s amazing. Having two is hella hard work, but your heart can accommodate, and, no doubt, it will. They’ll be so many moments, I hope, when you know you’ve made the right decision. Wishing you all the luck.

  4. Those are all very normal thoughts and feelings! I felt like I wasn’t ready to change life as I knew it with my son all the way up to arriving at the hospital to be induced. But like you said, siblings are a gift!
    It’s normal to not check apps, read books, or even think a lot about your second pregnancy when you’re a busy mom with a young child. It’s ok! It doesn’t mean you care less. Life is just different now.
    Trust me, you will love your baby as much as Charlie. But, you and Charlie will always have a special bond because he was your first baby.
    Please don’t look at the new baby as having shoes to fill. He will be different from Charlie, in lots of ways probably, so comparing is pointless.
    My daughter is very different from my son. She’s been easier on some ways (sleep!) and challenging in others (very independent). As much as I didn’t want to let go of the time I had with just my son, she lights up our lives with so much light! She’s a firecracker, he’s my smart love bug. Yes it’s an adjustment for everyone but it’s an even bigger (amazing) blessing! Best wishes to you and your growing family. You will do great!

  5. Wonderful post, Liz! While I am not yet a mother myself I appreciate your honesty and openness in sharing these feelings. I often have feelings of worry and anxiety just about becoming a mother and I usually feel crazy for doing so but it is so relieving to know that those feelings, no matter which step you are at, are completely normal. Part of the reason I follow along with Sequins & Stripes is because I appreciate how “real” you are in what you post and share. Thank you for that.

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  6. Reading this with tears running down my face. At 24 weeks pregnant with baby boy #2 I am having all of the same feelings you have. I’m scared of the transition to two and how it will effect my bond with my son. My heart breaks every time I think about it. Your thoughts about not wanting to split your time but knowing this is the greatest gift is spot on to my feelings. Everything has a season and I know that this will be such a beautiful time for each of us as we welcome our little ones into our families. Know that you are not alone ❤️

    1. I’m 24 weeks as well and also have tears flowing as I read this post and all of the comments. My little boy will be 3 in March (I’m due in Feb.), and I have so many of the same thoughts and feelings. I am an only child so I don’t have firsthand experience with siblings, so I feel even more ill prepared for how to show both of my sweet babies how much I love them. I know I will love my new little baby as much as my son; I just can’t imagine how that’s possible. I am just trying to focus on trusting that my heart will expand to love my second baby as much as my first, and that my little boy will still know how much he means to me. There is more than enough love to share with everyone. <3 Best wishes to all of us mamas.

  7. Don’t worry. You are going through what every Mom goes through. I just had my 2nd daughter in May (17 1/2 months apart). The reality is you are so busy chasing your toddler around you don’t have time to soak in being pregnant, resting and worrying like you did when you are pregnant the first time. I felt the same way. How will I connect with my 2nd child. I loved her instantly but a took a few weeks to get in the swing of things and you will fall madly in love with #2. I love my girls equally. My advice is fobask for help so you can still spend quality one on one time with Charlie. When the baby doesn’t need you put him down and cuddle with Charlie. There will be a time when both kids will need you and those moments are hard but you get through it. You are giving Charlie the best gift a sibling. Congrats and enjoy the last couple weeks before all he’ll breaks loose lol.

  8. I am pregnant with my second sweet girl and I’m terrified. I feel so much guilt that I haven’t been thinking about this baby as much, I haven’t bought her clothes, already set up her nursery or dreamed about her in the same way I did my first. Our daughter is hilarious and at 2.5 she has become so independent and is my “best girl.” I just can’t even imagine having another. I have two older brothers though, and am the third in my family and I’d like to think I’m the closest with my parents. I keep reminding myself- I’m giving my daughter her best friend for life and who knows, maybe this little girl and I will have our own special bond that is just as powerful as I have with my first.

  9. This is all so notmal. I distinctly remember feeling like I wouldn’t have enough love for my 2nd as I did for my first. (I’m also the oldest of 3 and I had 2 boys first, then a girl). You will find a new groove and I’m sure Charlie will act out a little bit but he’ll get used to having a baby brother around quickly. Have him grab you a diaper to help or grab a blanket. Then he will feel involved too.

  10. What you are feeling is totally normal! I remember sitting on the couch with my daughter the night before my scheduled c-section with my son and just sobbing because I realized it was the last time it would be just the two of us. All I can tell you is to give yourself grace during the adjustment and, yes, there will be hard days and times when you feel so overwhelmed. But there will be moments when you’re so grateful you gave Charlie a sibling and you’ll see the love they have for one another and your heart will explode. You’re going to do great, Liz! xoxo

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  11. This made me cry!! I just found out I’m pregnant with our 2nd and while I’m SO excited and this baby is SO wanted, I’m scared shitless that I won’t love him/her as much as I love my little boy. I SWEAR there’s something about boys and their mamas <3 Hang in there! xoxo

  12. Totally normal to be nervous. My mom, was worried for me with the birth of our second as well. She said she was worried I would attach to our second daughter since my first and my bond was the greatest she had ever seen. Once that baby is here, your heart explodes, it gets bigger. Your love for your second child is the same and so very different than your first. My oldest, she loved being a sister. She loved that baby… now she loves both her siblings fiercely. It will all work itself out. Your love for your children gets you through, make sure to take care of you, head the depression off at the pass, and lean on your support system. Most of all soak in those baby cuddles bc you know how fast they go this time around. I cannot wait to see that sweet baby in a few short weeks or days:)

  13. Your post really touched me! I just recently gave birth to our 2nd child on 10/1/17 and felt the exact same way you described below throughout my pregnancy. We have a 19 month old and every day I asked myself, “how can I possibly love another child like I love her?!” I also wasn’t as concerned with the most recent pregnancy because my attention from morning to night was on my daughter. In fact, right after I gave birth to my son, ALL I wanted was to see my daughter. I kept insisting my in-laws being her to me right away at the hospital!! I balled when I saw her. Ha!

    You’re are correct though – after that baby comes, life does slow down again, the house becomes a mess and you are exhausted. I’m just getting out of the fog myself but still battle the baby blue feels every now and then. Good thing that goes away, huh?! 🙂

    Best of all – your heart really does eventually expand to love both of those kiddos…and they somehow become your new normal. 🙂

    Best of luck to you and your family <3

  14. I think this is a completely normal feeling. I was the same way with my first daughter – also I think particularly because she was my rainbow baby. And then during my 2nd pregnancy it felt as though not as much thought or attention was given to that pregnancy. But I actually feel like I kiss her and squeeze her and ‘baby’ her even MORE than I did with my 1st (if that’s humanly possible)! I feel like my love for them is equally great in size – but different in how I express it to them – my heart didn’t divide to love them both – it doubled in size! You will do great – with both boys 🙂

  15. You are so honest! When I found out I was pregnant with my second (he was a surprise haha) I cried for almost a week because I was terrified how it would impact our first baby! Then I was hoping it would be a girl so wilson (our first) would still feel special. Here we are and I have 2 boys (2.5 yrs and 9 months). It has been a hard transition- I too thought I couldn’t love my second as much as my first. In reality after he was born, my heart made a special place just for carter (my second). Wilson is actually really sweet, most of the time, to his little brother and everyone tells me “they’ll be best friends” when they’re older. You are amazing and both boys are lucky to have you mama!
    P.S. I also didn’t obsess during my second pregnancy as much but I also didn’t obsess as much after he was born, feeling more confident in my ability the second time around!

  16. 100% Normal. I felt/feel exactly the same way (I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old). As cliche’ as it sounds your heart will grow. With the unknown comes fear and anxiety – it’s natural. You’ve got this! Seeing Charlie be a big brother will bring you another level of happiness.

  17. I’m a mom of one (still thinking about the second one!) and every mama of two I know felt this way. It is so so so so so normal. I applaud you for being so open about this as the unknown of a second child and how it will change your lives is certainly daunting if not scary at times! Whenever I am feeling anxious about a big change or transition with my son, one thing I think about is all the things I was worried about while pregnant with him and how just about all of those worries we were able to deal with and take in stride. And some of the worries were totally irrelevant and didn’t end up manifesting anyways!

  18. Aw, this gave me all the feels and I’m not even a mom yet! You are a strong, awesome mama, Liz, and you are going to strive in this next chapter of your life!

  19. I think every stage of motherhood has its different challenges and as long as you keep reminding yourself of this, and that you can handle it, you will get through each stage. I don’t mean to scare you but it only gets worse! The emotional toll, I mean. For example, my son is now 10 and doing more and more things on his own like going to basketball practice without us and leaving for summer camp for 4 weeks. It’s hard to “let go” but I know all these things are good for him. My point is, enjoy these phases while the kids are little and at least “under your control” physically!

  20. Love this post!! My wok is just a month younger than Charlie and I can not imagine (yet) adding another one to the mix for all the same reasons as you! So, at least your doing better than I am haha I have loved following along on your motherhood journey, you seem like a wonderful mom!!

  21. I have a two year old too and we hope to have our second soon. But I have those same exact fears. I’m excited to continue to follow along on your journey with two!! You can do it! Or at least that’s what everyone tells me. 😉❤️

  22. Oh boy do I remember these feelings and my kids are now 18 and almost 16. I remember watching my oldest play with his legos a few days before his brother’s arrival and calling my mom sobbing because he had no idea what was about to hit is perfect little life and what had I done to him??? And she of course reminded me that I was giving him a sibling which was a gift. I was so neurotic about my first that even while in labor, I didn’t feel like I could have the baby until I knew that my first one was asleep and tucked in for the night. Talk about crazy! I distinctly remember asking repeatedly if he was asleep. “Was he asleep? Could someone call and let me know if he was asleep?” Obviously my labor was at night and when my mom finally called my dad and he confirmed that my oldest was deeply asleep and happy as could be, then I finally relaxed into my labor with my second and he was born about two hours later. I look back on that and can’t explain it even if I tried. I think I honestly was trying to keep his life as undisrupted as possible which is nuts considering I was bringing home a baby in a few days. But that’s where my love for him was until his brother was born and my heart just exploded again. I, like you, didn’t think it was possible to love another human being the way I loved my first born. He was my entire universe. I revolved around him like the sun. I was also worried about loving a second as much as the first, and just decided the must be some truth to what everyone said. But when his brother was placed in my arms the universe expanded and I thought, “Oh there you are!” and the mother bear heart just grows that much bigger. It’s really incredible actually. We are so lucky to be able to do this. My boys are so close now and so funny together. So much alike and so different and have been such a source of comedy, support and friendship for each other over the years that I know that I did give them both gifts. They were have each other long after I’m gone. So breath deep Liz, you are doing so well and all these feelings are so normal. You are not crazy, you are a fierce mama and your second is going to take your breath away. And if he is anything like my second child, will be so much more relaxed and laid back for not having the the world orbit around him his entire life. 🙂

    P.S. And yes, change is coming. It’s unavoidable like you say. And Charlie will probably act out a bit, but he’ll also have moments of great sweetness that will break your heart. Best wishes!!

  23. Hi Liz! This post completely resonated with me. I have a daughter just a couple months older than Charlie and also a 7.5 month old son. While I couldn’t wait to get pregnant again and have another baby, as we were approaching his due date I started panicking and feeling so sad for my little girl – how would she adjust? I didn’t want her to be sad and feel like we didn’t love her anymore! She was still just a baby after all! Well- now that we are 7.5 months in to parents of 2, I can tell you that everything is great! My daughter doesn’t even remember life without her brother and absolutely adores him (and vice versa!) Life is definitely hectic at times and difficult, but seeing those two together just makes my heart melt. I know they will have best friends for life in each other, and that means everything to me. For me, during my son’s newborn phase, I actually still spent just as much time with my daughter – you forget how much newborns sleep!! It will all work out – and everything you are feeling is SO normal! Good luck!!!

  24. I too wept the night before I delivered my second. 3 years later I sometimes find myself giving my second more attention, which breaks my heart for my eldest. With my second I feel like time is flying by and since she is my last I want to cherish it all. With a newborn in tow splitting time will be difficult but know that time will allow for you and Charlie to have your separate time. The beginning is the beginning and survival is the rule of the game. Charlie is young enough, transition may be hard but he won’t remember much.

  25. It’s impossible to explain but your heart grows in size and you have enough room to love another little person as much as the first. I never thought i’d love anyone as much as my daughter but when my son was born he was a total game changer. The bond between a mother and son is so strong as you know! Two is an awesome number; chaotic, loud, messy and busy coupled with equal amounts of laughter, fun and love. It’s gonna to get real good, Liz! Best wishes on a safe and speedy delivery!

  26. This is 1000% normal I think. I have 3 now and before the last two I was so concerned I wouldn’t love them like I love the ones that came before. I think the way you love each child is different. Each little person, who they are, will shift the dynamic of the family but that is a good thing in the end. Right now, again, totally normal to worry and wonder about what comes next. I’m so excited for you, each challenge, each chapter is going to enrich your life. I’m grateful to be a reader who gets to follow along!

  27. My boys are about the same age apart as yours will be. My little one is almost 5 months and I had the same feelings during pregnancy. I did nothing to prepare and didn’t feel that excitement as I had the first time around. I think it’s just being a busy mom but it’s hard not to feel guilty.

    You will bond with boy #2 as soon as he is here. And it sounds crazy but you will love Charlie even more when you see them interact. It is the sweetest to see your two babies love on each other! My oldest had a little bit of a hard time (acting out a bit, needing attention) but that is also normal for a 2 year old! We try to give both boys attention and it helped getting out and about doing fun things so life didn’t seem too much different. My oldest LOVED helping…getting burp cloths, laying next to him for tummy time, burping him (pats on the back) and reading together. It is no doubt a tough transition, but in my opinion 1 to 2 kids was much easier than 0 to 1. And around 3-4 months it gets even easier, I promise! You got this mama!

  28. Liz, I understand. I loved my first so much that I really thought I didn’t want another child. In fact we waited 6 years in between because of it. My worry was intense throughout the pregnancy. I kind of felt like I might be ruining something perfect. However, as I look back now, I thank God I have my second child. He is a unique person and in no way does he compete with the love for my first. There is plenty of love to go around, I swear. I make sure to spend 1:1 time with each child and we have special rituals during those outings. As far as how the first reacted to the second, she loved helping out. She was older than Charlie, but she was great at fetching things for me during those early weeks, and she felt special as the big sister (we made a big deal about telling her too). It’s so heartwarming to see their relationship continue to blossom as they age. It will be OK.

  29. Had so many of the same fears going from one to two. You will be great. and regarding Charlie, my doctor said it best when I was crying in her office at 38 weeks worried how my little toddler at home will handle it. And she said, he will never know a life without his sibling. That changed me and lowered some of the anxiety cause she was right, my oldest has no memory of his first 2 years alone with me, his life, his memories all involve his siblings and us as a larger family unit of 5 now!

  30. Thank you as usual for your honesty! Before baby #2 came, I felt SO guilty and almost regretful, thinking why did I do this intentionally when I love my daughter so much and life is so wonderful with just her?? I felt like I was ruining her life by bringing a new person in when she never asked for it. After my son was born, I bonded with him instantly (oh my gosh baby boys 😍) but I still felt sort of like I was cheating on my daughter whenever I had to choose rocking him to sleep over doing her bedtime routine with her. I remember sobbing to my husband a few weeks into his life, saying I am the worst mother ever for making my daughter share me and then feeling so guilty for not giving my 100% to my son.
    The good news…18 months in, those feelings are so, so far gone. I would never change the family I have now. Of course you will be pulled in different directions between your two kids plenty of times, but watching the love they have for each other and the love you feel towards both of them will far, far exceed the times you want to pull your hair out 😉 The wonderful thing about a second baby is that you know just how quickly time passes so you cherish every single newborn snuggle even more than the first time. Enjoy that amazing newborn breath and your new normal, it will be wonderful 💙

  31. Liz, You got this! It’s always an adjustment with each baby. The love and joy you have for your new son once you meet him will wash away any worries you have. You realize your heart can love this boy just as it loves Charlie and still have room for your hubbie! I had my third boy 18 months ago and while it has been hard on my older sons, there is a nine year age gap between the baby and my now middle son, I know that they absolutely adore their brother and they are best buds already. I look at siblings as their family which connects them when their dad and I have passed and I feel so blessed that they’ll have one another! Best of luck to you and your growing family… xoxo

  32. I feel like this could have been written by me when I was pregnant with my 2nd boy. I know every parent thinks their child is special, but my first boy really is something else – everyone he meets says so. We also used to joke to him when I was pregnant that his little brother had some big shoes to fill!
    I experienced precipitous labour with my second and ended up leaving home in an ambulance while my dad and my mother-in-law kept my oldest far away from the action. I was a little busy at the time (ha!) but later, when he came to visit at the hospital I burst into tears because I just missed him so much and I think I had to grieve that I didn’t get the “final moments”, with him as my only baby because it all happened so fast.
    I was so worried there wouldn’t be enough love for another boy. But the moment they placed Lennox on my chest, my heart just kind of went “… oh. there you are.” One of my favourite sayings is that love does not divide, it multiplies.
    So I guess what I’m saying is, fear not mama. The heart is capable of more than we know.
    There were definitely struggles at first (my boys are 18 months apart). My oldest generally ignored the baby for the first while (they are kind of just potatoes that eat and poop, aren’t they?). Now that he is 5 months, he is so much more interesting and interactive. They really played together for the first time yesterday and my heart just swelled. I can see the friends they will be in the future and that is all I could ever hope for.
    Best of luck with the rest of the pregnancy and the transition to a family of four. I think (and hope) you will find it to be better than you could have ever imagined!

  33. Thank you for posing this! I am pretty much the same position as you, my daughter is 17 months and I am due with baby #2 in 4 weeks too!! I to have dealt with post partum and I have all the same emotions and feelings as you thinking about how life will be with baby #2. While everyone tells me it is totally normal to have these feelings I am one who does not deal with change well and am a very routine person. I know this transition won’t be easy by any means but it will totally be worth it! Again, thank you for posing this its nice to know I am not alone! =)

  34. Right there with ya. I gave birth to my 2nd (a girl) 11 months ago … at the time my now almost five year old son was an almost 4 year old. I had anxiety through my entire 2nd pregnancy because I had a horrible postpartum experience with my son (traumatic delivery. PPD, nursing struggles, the whole nine) … I remember taking a huge deep breath before starting to deliver Nora to mentally prepare myself for the struggles ahead.

    BUT to my surprise her delivery was a dream (only a couple pushes – they always told me it would be easier the 2nd time around … I guess they know what they’re talking about after all). I’m not going to lie there will be bumps in the road. Big brother wasn’t immediately enamored with his little sister (mostly because she didn’t “do” anything … “I’m going to need her to walk” is what he said when she was about a week old). Honestly the fact that you (a) know what to expect and (b) have already endured some tough times with a little will go far for your 2nd – everything will come much more naturally & will not seem like the life or death situations they might have with the first baby.

    I understand the feeling that you can not possibly love your first baby anymore & worrying how you will share your love between 2 babies. It’s like when you don’t think you can love your husband anymore and then you see him as a dad and your heart swells to twice as big. It’s like that with 2 kids – seeing my son become a big brother has made my heart swell. Even when little sister gets into his things and annoys him I beam because I love their sibling relationship so much.

    Hang tight – it might be a bumpy ride but it’s a fun one 🙂

  35. Liz, we just brought home our new baby boy Ryan, and his older brother George is about Charlie’s age (just over 2). Not gonna lie, it’s an adjustment. When George visited us in the hospital, it seriously lit up my day. He may have been more interested in the buttons on the hospital bed than his baby brother but that’s ok 🙂. My heart definitely doubled in size but I do feel emotional about my firstborn giving up his “only” status so I entirely understand. We’re only five days into the transition, and minute-to-minute changes for George emotionally as well. One minute he wants to kiss and visit with baby brother and the next he’s trying to sit on him/the nursing pillow. We’re trying to shower him with as much attention as possible with a newborn around, but it is hard!! Anyway, just want to let you know that you’re not alone at all in this.

  36. Everything you’re feeling is completely normal. I remember being terrified and talking with my other momma friends, and each one of them said your heart will grow and love that new baby just as much. I cried so much because I was so devastated for him that he wasn’t going to be as loved as our first. I have never been more wrong. What they all say is true, but you don’t believe them until it’s you. You’ll hold your new baby for the first time, and your heart just grows…and grows… and grows. Wishing you so much happiness!
    Also, we do lots of “date” days with our oldest. We each have a day with just her. We love planning them, and she loves the extra one on one time. Can’t wait until we can do it with our youngest too.

  37. You are an incredible woman. This is a beautiful adjustment that every family makes to add more love to their tribe. I am also a mom of two little boys. A 4.5 year old and a 1.5 year old. When I was leaving for the hospital to deliver #2, I sat on the couch with my oldest and wept. I wept for the times that it was just us two and those days coming to an end. I had the same fears and anxieties that you are having. I have to believe that it’s only natural. When your new little boy is here you may wonder what it was like without him.

    I know that I will never forget the days I had with my oldest. Those moments are only mine and his, to have forever. But now, in our family of four… sweet and crazy, chaotic and messy… I couldn’t imagine it any other way. Thank you for sharing all of your intimate thoughts and feelings. It, personally, makes me feel a little more “normal”. Congratulations to you and your family on all of the new things to come.

  38. I had the exact same fears and think it’s perfectly normal for mamas. It works out though- the love will be there and it’s amazing how you will love both equally but in different ways.

    There is definitely an adjustment in terms of time and attention, but that gets better too. My daughter did NOT want to get close to her baby brother for the first few weeks. No interest. She stayed away from me too in the hospital but once she processed things then she became the best little mother’s helper and very caring. Boys I know are different and they seem to act out a bit more? But it does get better.

    Mine are now 4 and 20 months and are besties (a girl and a boy). It’s amazing when they can start to interact and play with each other. At the same time we make an effort to do one-on-one time with them. It’s a balancing act and it is hard those first few weeks/months since newborns are so time consuming.

    You do find a new rhythm though and once the family adjusts those fears definitely go away.

  39. I wish I had this post when I was pregnant with my second. Everything you wrote about is 1000% how I felt and what I was dealing with up to the delivery of my second child. I struggled (hard!) in understanding how I could love another child, even though I so badly wanted another. I will admit that the first day I looked at my youngest like she was a stranger. I didn’t feel as connected to her as I did my first born. To make matters worst my first wanted nothing to do with the new baby and that tore me apart on the inside. After a few days and every calmed down, including my hormones it all naturally clicked.

    There will be hard moments. Even a year later we all still struggle in our house. But I can’t imagine life without my second born. She completed our family and the dynamic and the love is so much greater with her than it was without. I can’t remember the days without her.

    This is a totally normal feeling, we all go through it whether we admit it or not but it will pass. Once you have that new baby boy in your arms and seeing how Charlie reacts (good or bad) you’ll realize your heart is capable of opening up all the love for both of your boys.

    Jamie
    Hello There, Lady!

  40. As a mom of two, there’s definitely a mourning period before you give birth to #2. That’s the only way I can explain it. It’s so amazing to be a part of a small family unit where everything works like clockwork and you can pour all your love and attention into one tiny human. I was definitely sad to see those days go away. Now I have to be deliberate about my one on one time with both my littles., especially my eldest since she’s more independent. Hang in there momma, you will love #2 as much as Charlie. It’s also ok to be sad, feel all the feels! I saw this picture a couple years ago and found it. It’s a mom in the hospital before she has her baby and she’s hugging her first child so tight. It’s beautiful and sums it all up! Good luck with your delivery! https://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/031315-saying-goodbye-to-an-older-sibling-before-birth/

  41. Love your post and honesty
    My kiddos are 22, 20, and 17
    And I remember having the same feelings when my second was born
    How could I love the second or the third as much as you love your first.
    And magically you do.
    I remember a wise woman told me you love your children the same as you would love your
    Right arm or your left arm you love both of your arms the same 🙂
    They both are apart of you but different,
    Your children of course will be unique little humans whom will be equally loved by you❤️

  42. I have a 23 month old boy and I’m 20 weeks along with #2. I feel many of the same emotions and more! I wish I had some comfort, I’m finding comfort in the comments others have left for you! With my first everything was so perfect-drug free birth that was fast, I felt amazing physically and emotionally in recovery, breastfeeding worked out, I breastfed him into my pregnancy with #2, I lost most of the baby weight easily, etc. He never slept but that’s a whole other story lol! With #2 I keep thinking…what if this time it’s a C-section? Or recovery is awful? Or breastfeeding isn’t as smooth (doubtful as I’ve learned so much and feel really good about that but still….I respect everyone’s choices but for myself I know I’d be devastated if nursing wasn’t like it was with my first) what if I gain twice as much weight as last time and it doesn’t come off? I know some or all of these things can happen I just don’t know how I’ll cope with it emotionally and compare it to my first. It shouldn’t be a comparison game but I almost feel like a first time Mom is some ways this time around because everything was so great with my first! I’ve only spent one night away from my son. I don’t even know what to do when I’m in the hospital. We have no family here so my husband will stay home with my son I’ll just be in the hospital by myself…well…with the baby I guess lol! Looking forward to following your journey! Congratulations you will do great!

  43. I don’t have kids but I think all moms think that way. When I first got my cat, I thought I wouldn’t be able to get another pet because I loved Charlie(yes that’s my cat’s name) so much. I now have a puppy and I love them both so much!

    Jennifer
    Effortlessly Sophisticated

  44. Oh this is bringing back SO many feelings from being in your shoes years ago. I felt so many of the same things as you! I even told a friend it was hard to imagine going back to caring for a baby again and I wasn’t as excited about it as I was my first. But the moment my second daughter was born and I saw her precious face, I fell HARD for her and everything just came back to me! There were some very hard days with a 24 month old and newborn but they are 6 and 8 now and I’m so glad they have each other! We also have baby sister #3 in the mix now. The best advice I can give is just to focus on the baby and charlie and don’t sweat the rest. You have a great support system and it will all be ok! Charlie will adore his brother so lots of positive reinforcement with that! They will be the best of friends in no time!

  45. Loved this post so much! I’m currently pregnant with No. 2 and have a 2.5 year old son at home who is the sweetest little old soul. And even though I’ve heard the advice and rationally understand that my heart will grow when the new one comes and completes our family, every morning I still wonder how in the world will I love this baby as much as I love my firstborn. Thanks so much for sharing your journey, and thanks to all the other commenters! <3

  46. Thank you for speaking so honestly about pregnancy and motherhood. As a woman who is in college and cannot wait until I become a mother, it’s so nice to see the reality behind the glitz and glamor. I don’t think women speak enough about the downsides and fears they have. Thank you for providing the good and the bad. Honestly inspiring.

  47. Finding a new routine for everyone after baby #2 takes a little time and then everyone will feel settled again and back to a calming new normal. Give yourself six weeks and you will feel so much more at ease and until then, just keep going and be kind to yourself. For me the hardest thing about the second, was the short but intense mourning period I had for my 1:1 relationship with our first son. I didn’t expect it so I say this to “warn” you a bit. But it goes away quickly and really just goes with the hormones that soon settle down postpartum. Our second son is seven weeks old and we all love him to pieces and can’t imagine life without him! Even his two year old brother.

  48. Everything you are feeling is totally normal. My best advice…..enjoy Charlie, enjoy the new baby and FLOW. You will love BOTH beyond words can express…each the same but in different special ways. You will love them for being unique and different, yet they come from the same Mommy and Daddy. Trust me, I enjoyed and relaxed MORE with the second, because I already understood what motherhood was all about and embrace every little thing….because of all lived with the first born.
    Blessings and light to you and your new baby. You will love more your family with this new addition. Pause and take it all in. Time flies.

  49. I’m due with another baby boy about a week after you and I can so relate to this post. I’m constantly thinking about I don’t feel like I have “bonded” with this baby as much as I did with my first pregnancy. You are definitely not alone with all those feelings!

  50. We have five and I’ve had these same thoughts/panic every time. Granted going from one to two was the hardest in not knowing how I could love another one. But you do and your heart will open up and love that little baby as much so (or more at first if you can believe it) as the first one.

  51. Oh my goodness, It sounds like I wrote this post. I have an 18 month at home and a 2 month old (today!) like you, I had no idea how I would love another human like I love my first boy. While I was super excited for the new baby (another boy), there also was a part of that was sad that it wouldn’t be just Luke and I anymore. It really bothered me that he was too young to know what was happening and that everything was going to be different. I can’t say that it’s been easy having 2 under 2 , but everyday gets better. I still have guilt that my attention is so divided and most of the time more focused on the baby but I just keep reminding myself that it is such a short period in the grand scheme of things. And I make sure that I do one on one activities with my oldest. And for what it’s worth, I thought I was crazy feeling both happy and sad about having another baby!

  52. I shared many of the same fears as you when I was pregnant with our second. But the instant, and I mean instant, that our second was born I was completely in love with her. I like to think your heart doubles in size with each birth. 🙂 Our daughters are completely different – personality & appearance, but I love them equally for the uniqueness & joy they bless our family with. Praying the same for you.

  53. Hi! I have two boys ages 2 and 3 and felt the exact same way as you before my second was born. It’s something we can’t prepare for but once the baby is here, the love is just as intense and real in a hard to explain way 🙂 and watching them grow together and become friends is the best gift and one I cherish.

  54. Oh liz, this is so normal before second baby, but also very real and scary. I had the same feeling with my first, but now, 2 years later I cannot imagine life without both of them (and them together!) you will be amazed at how your heart will grow and love both of your babies in such different amazing ways. All the best to you, thanks for opening up and letting the world be a part of your journey

  55. I felt the same way! I have two boys and they are five years apart. I just had my second in June and when I went to the hospital I was sobbing at the thought of leaving my first son because I was not ready. My older son is more than I ever imagined from motherhood (most of the time, he can definitely be a handful) and I loved him so so much it felt like my heart would burst. My first son and I also did everything together, he is my buddy, I was terrified how another child would change that for us. But it turns out what everyone tells you is true, your heart just expands. It seems impossible, I know! But it does happen, and pretty soon that new little person will feel like they were always part of your family.

  56. When I was about to have my second boy, I remember telling my husband that what I felt most excited about was what was going to happen to my husband and I— that we would love a SECOND person with that crazy, life altering love made me feel so much anticipation, even though I couldn’t even imagine what it would look like. But I knew it was going to happen to us again, and that was so special. When it comes to loving our children, I’ve found that the math our hearts do is not division. It’s multiplication. You’re gonna love having two so much more than having one! Xo

  57. You have hit the nail on the head. I have a 22 month old, and I’m 6 months pregnant with my second, so I’m right on track with you. I also live in the Chicago suburbs–a move my husband and I made when we bought a house after living down in Evanston for nine years in a tiny condo. Though I’m beyond excited to start another journey, I am living with total and unexpected anxiety…and the GUILT of it has shocked me. I actually catch myself feeling reeealllly bad for my first born, thinking about how much her world is about to be rocked. I’m having a second girl, and I also worry about the competition between the two, and making sure that I’m doing everything fairly, but it’s nearly impossible to devote as much time and thought the second time around. I’m crippled by the most basic decisions about things like sleeping arrangements, my mind is a black hole when it comes to trying to remember things I did the first time around, and the other day it occurred to me that I’d actually need to figure out a plan for taking care of the first when I’m in the hospital having the second. I feel like I just got the hang of things with working full time, having a normal sleep schedule, breaking away from breastfeeding, living with a child that eats solid foods and is somewhat self sufficient when it comes to walking and communicating, and I’m about to bomb everything and start over from scratch. I keep reminding myself that–even though I don’t remember–I also had these same fears the first time around, and it all worked out in the end, to the point where I actually made a conscious decision to do it all over again. In about six months, we’ll both be laughing about this and wondering why we ever worried in the first place. Or, we won’t even remember having the feelings in the first place…. now, go enjoy your last Halloween as a family of 3 (plus Webster)!

  58. The greatest gift you can ever give Charlie is his little brother! My OB told me that when i was feeling the same feelings as you!! Turns out she was totally right. 🙂

  59. Your feelings are totally normal! I think all mamas wonder how they will ever love another baby as much as the first, but you will. Have you heard of the book “I Love You the Purplest” by Barbara M. Joosse? It’s a really cute book about a mama with two little boys and how she loves them equally in their own unique way. I think you would enjoy it and so will your boys!

  60. I just had my second baby last week and my First is 19 months. I had all of these feelings. Actually before I left for the hospital I held my oldest and just cried. And I can say with confidence that you will love the second just as much – your heart truly doubles. I will be honest… It has been hard because sometimes my oldest does want me and can’t have me….but I remind myself that I have given him a gift in a sibling and that he won’t remember these days anyway. Good luck!!!

  61. Great post. I think this a universal feeling amongst most moms. I definitely felt these same fears and also had dreams that scared me into thinking I’d be bad at being a mom of two ha ha. You’ll be just fine and it seems those two sweet boys are very lucky to have a mom like you!

  62. I remember worrying about this when my 2nd daughter was born. I am sure many people told you when you were expecting Charlie that the moment he was born would be so amazing, and special, and just hard to describe, that rush of love you feel as a mom. And you didn’t really get it. Then you had Charlie – and you knew excatly what they meant, and you still couldn’t find the words to describe it. I’d say it is the same thing for #2- you can’t imagine the same love and connectedness, but that little guy will show up and it just happens. Your heart expands, and you really won’t know what you did before he showed up. And….a brother is amazing gift for Charlie. Just like with one baby, the first few weeks are a blur and can be tough, but you will find your rhythm and your new normal. Wishing you the Best:)
    Oh and my daughters are now 11 and 13- I love them both oodles, even in those moments when they now act like crazy teenage girls!!

  63. I am a mom of two and I totally get it. I miscarried twice before my first and he just seemed so…extra special? Like he and I fought to be alive together and the thought of that would sometimes bring me to my knees. My love and greatfulness for him was overwhelming at times. With my second, she was a surprise pregnancy and I wasn’t overly “involved” this time around. I worried too – would I love her as much? Could I do it all? But do you know what the surprise was when she was born? I was greatful for the distraction from constantly worrying about and mothering my first. Yes, he got jealous and I felt guilty. But he also was/is perfectly fine. And she brings such joy to our family and totally completes this team. Two can be overwhelming at times (heck, one can be tough), but you’ve totally got this, mama.

  64. all the feelings; four months post partum with number 2 and my entire pregnancy I almost resented my bump bc I felt baby boy was somehow taking my love for my 3 year old daughter. i also wasn’t sure I wanted a boy so that doubled my stress and fear that I wouldn’t love another tiny human; because how could I love anyone like I love my daughter? my friends assured me they all had experienced the same and I would be fine; I wasn’t convinced. BUT, the moment I heard my son’s first cry (before I even saw his sweet face) my heart exploded and his world became mine. and watching my daughter love her brother? all.the.feels.

    good luck, mama! it will be so wonderful. I have loved getting to “know” your family through your posts and you give me hope it’s possible to be a “cool” mom even with leaky boobs.

  65. I need to tell you that I just teared up reading this. I rarely comment on blogs but felt the need to with this one because it’s spot on what I’m feeling with my second pregnancy as well. I can’t even fathom loving another as much and that is so so scary. And I too worry about how my son will be when I can’t give him my everything and all of my attention because we are so attached. I’m due December 11th and will be right there with you along the way. Thanks for sharing. ❤️

  66. I remember your post before Charlie was born, and the quote that helped you through — ” Attitude is the difference between a dilemma and an adventure”. It’s always stuck with me and I’m so grateful to you for sharing it. I know the bond Charlie and baby boy will share will make even the craziest days easier. Thank you for sharing. Hope I’m half the mother you are today. ❤️

  67. I remember your post before Charlie was born, and the quote that helped you through — ” Attitude is the difference between a dilemma and an adventure”. It’s always stuck with me and I’m so grateful to you for sharing it. I know the bond Charlie and baby boy will share will make even the craziest days easier. Thank you for sharing. Hope I’m half the mother you are today. ❤️

  68. I can relate to this so much! I have two kids 14 months apart (18mo & 4mo). When I was pregnant with my second I felt guilty all the time because I was so focused on my toddler and had hardly any time to daydream about the baby in my belly. I went into labor and I got the epidural and had some down time and that’s when it really hit me – I cried so hard knowing that those were my final moments of being a mom to one sweet boy and everything was about to change (change is so hard!). Once my baby girl was born, of course, I fell in love instantly. As a little girl I used to always ask my mom who she loved more, my brother or me and she always told me that she loved us differently, not more. I never really understood how that could be true until I had a second baby. I have a different kind of love for my baby girl, not better or more, just different. Change is scary and hard, but once you get into an new routine with two babes, it will all be worth it. You’ve got this, mama!

  69. Hi Liz! I am a mother of 2 boys, as well – now both 5 1/2 and 8 yo. I remember distinctly a nagging feeling of time slipping away and being very conscious of the fact that our cozy family of 3 was going to be an even cozier family of 4 when I was pregnant with my youngest. I will now admit that I had postpartum depression with my first (I’ve always played it down, but now looking back, I totally did and I probably should’ve talked more to my doctor, so that might have played a role) and was anxious and nervous and had such low self-esteem in terms of being a mom. We definitely planned for our second, so it wasn’t a surprise and we were excited and it was perfect timing, everything. So I wanted him, for sure (without a doubt), but I also knew and was keenly aware that our lives were in for a big change and I was nervous, too. I’d sit in his room at night and we’d be reading books and I’d catch myself just staring at him, taking him all in. I remember thinking “how could I ever love another human as much as I love him?” But everyone told me, which is something I’ll always remember, “your heart is bigger than you think. It will surprise you how much love your heart can hold.” And I can honestly say that it is without a shadow of a doubt, true. You somehow find a way.

    You’re anxious now, nervous, curious, exhausted (you’re caring for 2 little ones now, even though one’s not here yet, ya’ know), but trust me – you’ll find a way and when you hold that new little guy, you’ll feel all the feels all over again. Then you’ll see Charlie so curious (and yes, maybe a little jealous – it happens!) and you’ll be so excited to watch him get to know this new little person that he’ll grow to love just as much.

    I’d say – don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make it perfect. Let it come naturally for all of you, even Charlie. He may need an adjustment period and for the first 6 weeks or so – it was absolute pandemonium in our house. My hubby was mostly in charge of my oldest and I was mostly in charge of our youngest – we’d try to be conscious of the time and try to switch when we could so we’d each get a “break” if you know what I mean. But it all worked out – it was chaos – but it all worked out and I’m sure it will for you guys as well.

    I guess I just want to say – it’s perfectly normal and okay to be having these feelings because, once again, you’re heading into the unknown. Just trust in yourself and your family and know that you’ll have more than enough love to go around. You’ll be amazed when you look back in a few years at how much love there is to go around.

    I’ll leave you with this – I look back now and I honestly can’t remember what it felt like to be our family of 3 before my youngest was born. I remember it, but our family feels so complete now that I just can’t imagine life without my youngest and I wouldn’t change it for anything. They each bring me and my husband so much joy in their own way and it’s amazing to watch them each grow into their own little people, with their own little personalities. I’m sure you’ll feel the same way once things settle down and settle in. Take care! xx

  70. Thank you so much for sharing this! My only son is almost 3 yrs – my husband and I always envisioned we’d have at least 2 kids – we both come from large families and love our siblings – but I share so many of your feelings about having another one! So we haven’t even started trying again. I completely agree, though, that motherhood is all about constant changes – and finding out you are capable of doing so much more than you could ever imagine. You got this. Good luck!

  71. It’s all normal! I cried on the way to the hospital when about to give birth to baby #2. My baby girl at the time was my only and was truely my best friend. I hugged her goodbye when we left for the hospital as if I’d never see her again. I couldn’t have imagined a more special child and bond. I regretted even getting pregnant again…and how guilty I felt for those feelings! Now my baby #2 is 14 mo and is my HEART. I’m obsessed with him. As obsessed as I was with #1, which I didn’t think was possible. It’s so amazing to me how a mother’s heart just keeps expanding for all the love.

  72. Had baby #2 about five months ago and it’s wonderful, but also SO HARD! If you haven’t yet, check out the Nursing and Cursing podcast (it’s SO funny). There is a recent episode about going from 1 kid to 2. It won’t make you feel better, but will make you feel so normal. You’re definitely not alone!

  73. It’s really hard to know if some of the people you follow on social media are real or if they are just keeping face to gain/keep followers and their brand. Since becoming a Mom almost 3 years ago (!) I have gone through a lot of ‘purging’ and unfollowing to try and filter those accounts out where I felt like I was just constantly trying to live up to an impossible standard and wondering “how in the world is this woman/mom living like this?! I have got to get my life together!” What I’ve loved about your account since having Charlie is how you’ve given glimpses of those real moments and your honesty resonates with me. I think the feelings you are having are completely natural – being a Mom is HARD. We put such an immense amount of pressure to make sure we raise these tiny humans to be the best version of themselves – it’s a lot! Charlie is going to be an amazing big brother – your heart WILL open up and love the baby just as much as you love Charlie. I’m fairly certain I would have the same thoughts you are having getting so close to the end – but I think it just means you have a lot of love & compassion in your heart & soul. Thanks for keeping things real – I know I don’t stand alone when I say I love reading these posts even though I’m sure it was a hard one to write & publish for you! hugs, momma!

  74. Hi Liz!

    Don’t fret. What you are feeling is completely normal. I welcomed my second child 7 weeks ago. I have two little girls. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions. Take it one day at a time. It will be incredibly tough on the older sibling in the beginning but they will grow to love their little brother or sister. We included our oldest Chloe in everything from diaper changes to feedings. It helped and made her feel a part of it all. Also, we got her a gift from the baby when we came home to soften her introduction. You can do it! From what I see you are a wonderful mom and these boys are so lucky to have you!

    Best wishes!

    Jessica

  75. As my mother explained to me, there is no finite amount of love. Your love will multiply when you welcome this new little guy to your family. I have two boys (2.5 years and 3 weeks), and all of the fears I had about somehow betraying my toddler by having another baby vanished when I saw the way he sweetly kissed his baby brother when they met at the hospital for the first time. I do feel guilt and have shed tears over the fact that life will never be the same. But like you said, siblings are the greatest gift. Enjoy these last few weeks with your first born, but also look forward to how much more love you’re family is about to experience. xo

    PS: Other than the lack of sleep, newborns are sooooo much easier than wild toddlers! I’m enjoying this newborn phase much more the second time around…and hope you can too!

  76. Really enjoying the comments, as I am currently in your shoes! I have a 2 year old boy I adore more than life itself and this is one area my husband and I not seeing eye to eye. He doesn’t understand my fear at all and attributes it to me being an only child (ha!). Plus, he is a second born so I think is already forming a special bond with our little boy due in April. I worry about all the same fears, but am holding onto the fact that seeing my Finn as a big brother and the little one adoring him will put my worries to rest. No words of wisdom here, but just another mama saying “yeah, me too!”.

  77. I’m 7 weeks away from baby #2 & literally feel the EXACT way!!!!!! So excited but all my focus, Love, thoughts, energy is with my little guy right now. Can’t possibly imagine another as much! Love your blog so so much & feel like you put my exact thoughts into words! You are not alone xoxoxo

  78. Liz!! I cannot tell you how much this post speaks to me! I have a little boy just 2 months younger than Charlie and am pregnant with my second. (I swear ever since following you in 2011 my life has closely mirrored yours!) I feel the exact way about my son as you have described, he is my entire world, and am terrified of having to share that love with another. Everyone says you don’t share it, you just get more love to spread around, so here’s hoping! I love keeping up with you and your family, especially those real life struggles that are so relatable! Wishing you the very best on this next adventure (I’m scared 😳🙋🏼) and I can’t wait to see what’s in store! ❤️❤️❤️

  79. I had my second baby a year ago and I had similar feelings during my 2nd pregnancy. I was overwhelmed with guilt that my little man didn’t know his world was about to be rocked in a way he didn’t ask for. He was only 17 months when my daughter was born and he adjusted probably better than my husband and I, haha, but really. I remember my mom told me that mom guilt is a horrible all encompassing feeling and it is. And I also have siblings that are my best friends. I knew logically I could love more than one child but it doesn’t seem possible when you have one that is your whole life. When my water broke with my second, it was the middle of the night and I went into my sons room and just rocked him for an hour, sobbing while doing so. Hormones are for real. I also think in reality with the first child, everything is new, exciting, you have two people to “oooo” and “ahhhh” over every little they do. And now having my daughter I feel bad that she never got that kind of attention. See, mom guilt again. Anyway, your feelings are very normal to me because I had similar ones, but you’re heart will explode again when you bring your new little man into the world. He will exceed your expectations in his own way. And it’s one of the best feelings to see your kids together (when they’re not fighting and screaming 🙄). I love the relationship hey are creating and I have high hopes for them to be the best of friends. Good luck and can’t wait to see the new little guy!

  80. I am due a week before you and have a 14 month old baby boy and I have to say, this article definitely hits home. The fact I am now under two weeks away from meeting this new little one, I have been neurotic about spending time with my first born. I was an only child so this is completely new territory. Fortunately, I have heard only amazing things about having them so close together and I am now starting embrace it. Looking forward to seeing you embark on a similar journey and wish you all the luck! 🙂

  81. Love your sweet family and following you along. I have a 2 year old son and 4 month old daughter and had the same fears as you and I have to say it is so. much. easier. Than I thought it would be. You’ve done it before and everything just comes back. For me there was hardly any anxiety like I had with my son and your heart just expands. Being a mama to two is the best, best, best and you’re going to rock it!