Ask Liz over 2 years ago by Liz Adams

Coffee with Liz

How did you know you were ready for baby #2? 

I really wasn’t! It still feels like I just had Charlie. But I knew I wanted our kids to be 2-2.5 years apart so it ended up working out perfectly. Our reason for this separation is strictly because my sister and I are 2.5 years apart, Dave and his brother are 25 months apart – we both agree that we liked this age difference growing up. I don’t know if we are mentally prepared for what is about to happen with the introduction of another little baby, but at the same time I finally feel ready for the newborn phase. I do have these fears that I am going to give birth and my first feeling will be “where is Charlie?” He is my little buddy. 

How did you and Dave meet? 

We met through a mutual friend! My best friend growing up went to college with Dave, I then lived with my girlfriend once we graduated from college and when Dave moved to Chicago she introduced us. The rest is kind of history! Nothing special about that store but we have pretty much been together since we met. Our first “date” was meeting for beers at Glascotts in Lincoln Park to get to know each other. We ended up sitting and chatting (and drinking) for 6 hours. Almost 4 years later (a few days short) Dave proposed in the same booth at Glascotts on a random Wednesday. We were married 14 months later and had Charlie one year later!

Does Dave have a skincare routine? If so, what is it?

Dave is very flattered by this question. He uses these 5-in-1 pads at night followed by this dermalogica Replenish Oil (I received a sample in the mail and he was obsessed). In the morning he uses this Neutrogena cleanser in the shower followed by Kiehl’s Facial Fuel

What is your take on disciplining children. Do you and Dave have the same ideas when it comes to disciplining? How do you as a mom deal with Charlie’s tantrums in public or just in general when you feel like you are about to lose all your patience?!

In general, Dave and I definitely have the same ideas when it comes to disciplining. Do I give into Charlie more than Dave, yes, but we are learning as he gets older the importance of disciplining now. He has turned into a manipulative little sh*t who has me completely wrapped around his finger. The main reason Charlie acts out or throws a tantrum is because he wants attention. I just had to tell his daycare to let him cry on his own because he has really mastered getting his way. 

When tantrums happen in public, I just have to let them run their coarse. The less I panic, the better, because again – he just wants my attention/reaction. I tell myself to take a deep breath and keep going with what I’m doing. Last week I took Charlie to Trader Joe’s and he had a complete melt down for 10 minutes. All of the sales people were trying to help and it got to a point where I just let him lay in the middle of the cereal aisle until he calmed down. The reason: I took away the apple he was eating because he kept spitting it out. It will happen again and again but you just have to remind yourself that it is not related to how you’re parenting. It’s just them being crazy toddlers 😉

Do you have online shopping strategies? I feel like when I am looking for a piece for an event or just to have, I know what I want to find…but even using filters, I strike out. What resources do you use to find items? 

Sometimes I do but most of the time I don’t. When I think of something that I need, I usually write it down and eventually make a list of what and where I need to shop. I think because I am constantly browsing the internets, I typically know what brand I am looking for. I have this weird habit of knowing exactly who makes something when I see it. In exchange, I’m also usually knowledgeable of a less expensive option or a brand that would be a good alternative. To be honest, I usually stick to my favorite stores and can usually find what I need. If I need something specific (it is usually because I’ve seen this style on someone) then I do some digging on my favorite blogs. 

Did you get the post-wedding/honeymoon blues? If so, what did you do to cheer yourself up?

YES! I was shocked to feel this way, too. I would say keep celebrating you and your new husband. Go out to dinner, drink champagne for no reason, go through your wedding photos and relieve memories as much as you can!

A few weeks ago you posted step-by-step tutorial of how you style your hair when you let it dry naturally. Can you post that process again and any products you use?

My process when I let my hair air dry vs. blow dry/curl my hair is different! Here is what I do for both:
 
Air dry: Wash hair and towel dry. Without brushing (I know this is hard for some but it makes my waves better), blow dry your roots and remove some of the wetness from your strands. While I do this I comb through my hair with my fingers to reduce frizz. Next I use Bumble & Bumble’s Surf Infusion spray to add texture to my hair and create those “just stepped out of the ocean” waves. I’ll finish this style with some Kérastase Elixir Ultime Nourishing Hair Oil just on the ends. This style isn’t really “styled” until it completely dries so be patient! Also note – I have thick, coarse, naturally wavy hair.
 
Blow Dry: Wash hair and apply Bumble & Bumble Straight Blow Dry cream to the bottom half of my strands. I then blow dry my hair in no specific way. I do not use a round brush (I wish I were that talented) so I use a flat brush and just kind of blow dry it until it is dry. Next, I curl my hair in 3 sections using my T3 curling iron (with the 1 1/4 barrel) or my Conair Infiniti Pro Curling Wand (this is a 1″ barrel). I honestly like both but I do think my hair is less frizzy and maintains a healthier curl with the T3. With each layer I let it cool after curling and apply a flexible hold hairspray – I like Drybar “Money Maker” and newly obsessed with Moroccan Oil’s Luminous hairspray. Once the top layer is curled, cooled and sprayed I use a flat brush and completely brush out my curls to loosen everything up. This turns my curls into waves. You can see a Youtube video with my hair tutorial here + more details here!

Do you have breastfeeding goals for baby boy #2 or plan to just see how it goes? I know you had mentioned before that you wanted to breastfeed Charlie until he was at least 6 months old. When you did switch to formula with Charlie, what was your go-to formula and bottle preference?

My goal is to breastfeed baby #2 for as long as I can! However, after Charlie I know that our plans don’t always stick so in all honestly I’m just hoping for the best. When Charlie was 4 months old he was diagnosed with acid reflux and put on medication. He has been throwing up everything and didn’t gain weight between 3-4 months. We had to start supplementing him with formula that was made for babies with acid reflux (it was Enfamil AR, it is thickened with rice starch). He started responding way better to the formula than my breast milk. They knew it wasn’t an allergy but the consistency wasn’t thick enough for his system. At 6 months I nursed for the last time and Charlie remained on Enfamil AR until he was one. I was so sad to stop nursing him but ultimately knew my decision to continue was selfish. Charlie grew out of his acid reflux around 8/9 months and has been a happy baby ever since! You can read more about it here. For bottles we used Philips Avent bottles with the natural nipples.

How do you stay motivated to go to the gym so often? I m so impressed! I wish I could stop giving myself excuses not to go!

I wouldn’t say I stay motivated at this point! I try not to put so much pressure on myself and exercise 4 days a week. I feel like that is way more manageable than working out every day. At this point (in my pregnancy), eating healthy and maintaining my strength is my goal. I’m obviously not looking to lose weight, I’m just looking to stay the same once baby boy #2 arrives. Then I can re-evaluate. 🙂 
 
With Charlie I gained 26 pounds (not bad!) but I ate a donut or croissant every single morning and a lot of pasta. Once I dropped the weight, my body was NOT the same. I think I had lost a lot of muscle mass but the fat stuck. It was harder to get my body back in shape. I am way more aware of this with baby #2 and have made a more conscious effort to eat healthy. I’m 29 weeks pregnant today and I’ve gained 14 pounds. I’ve been way more active (especially with a toddler) which hopefully helps make things easier to get back in shape after baby. Remember that it is all mental! It helps me to think about how great I feel after I’ve worked out. I want my body to be healthy and strong for my babies. 

Can you recommend any good winter jacket for 15 months old? Which brand? 

Last year Charlie wore his Patagonia coat all winter long. This year I ordered him this coat which seems to be a bit warmer and has a hood. If it is really cold he will wear a vest underneath or a full snow suit. Remember that Patagonia runs a little big but we love the brand!

What are some longer casual tops for fall that would pair well with leggings?

I have and love this basic tee and this basic tee. If I want to wear a top that isn’t long enough I throw on a cardigan to cover my butt – this, this and this are my favorites! I love Rails plaid shirts because they are the softest fabric and super drapey (not stiff). 
 
Be sure to submit your questions for next week! Email me: [email protected] with subject “Coffee with Liz.”

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  1. Liz, I’m loving the morning coffees with you!!! I’d love to know more about your process for putting blog outfits together! Do you spend one day a week putting together outfit ideas? Going shopping? Etc. Do you find something on Pinterest you like then create your own version? This would be so helpful! Thanks as always XX -Nicole

  2. Liz, I have to tell you I just spit coffee over my desk when I read, “He has turned into a manipulative little sh*t…” I appreciate how candid you are! I’m a long time reader, but I’m not sure I’ve ever commented (with the exception of instagram). I’ve really enjoyed these posts!

  3. Love the Coffee with Liz posts! When I sat down this morning to look at blogs, I said “Sweet! Its Coffee with Liz Day!” I love how you answer so many different types of questions. Happy Friday!

  4. I had spontaneous twins when my son was 21 months old. I SOBBED for the few weeks before their due date at the change my family of 3 was facing. Every bedtime cuddle leading up to my schedule C section was a bit melancholic. And then the morning I left for the hospital and my mom was with my boy, he came racing up with his shoes saying “I come! I come!” and the hormones, and fear of delivery, and UH TWINS – I LOST it.” Ugly crying. And he had a cold so couldn’t come to the hospital to visit. I came home and he wouldn’t hug me for a few days and I was devastated and my heart was now split in threes and there wasn’t enough to go around on top of the hormonal rollercoaster. Fast forward 8 months and it’s the BEST. It was tough for a few months (and you’ll see this with Charlie in daycare in the fall/winter and endless colds and runny noses) since I felt like all I did was yell at him to stay away from the babies (I’m a germ nut especially before babies get those 2 month vax) when just a few wks before, he was the baby. But now, he is the light of their world. And he LOVES them. He hears them cry and says my lines like “we’re coming gurls” in that adorable way 2 year olds talk. And I look back in the car, and the girls look at him like an idol and he’ll reach out and hold their hand for no reason and then just giggle which makes the girls giggle. Point being, it will be tough for a short bit, but it will be awesome in the long run! So, so glad my boy has siblings. Plus, there’s something really amazing about brothers close in age.

  5. I don’t brush my hair when it’s wet either! The only time I brush my hair is when I am going to wash or deep condition it. Otherwise it messes up my natural wave and my hair goes poofy. I plop my hair when I wash it to help with my wave. I shower at night so it’s so easy when I wake up, I take off the tshirt and my hair is perfectly wavy.

    Jennifer
    Effortlessly Sophisticated

  6. Hi Liz, I just wanted to say how much I enjoy these posts and appreciate your honesty. Anyone who will openly admit that toddlers can be little sh*ts is *actually* keeping it real, and as a reader, I appreciate it. My daughter is a few months younger than Charlie so I can totally relate. I hope you’ll keep these posts coming. 🙂

  7. Good post! I feel overwhelmed by my #2 plans. Ideally I’d like the 2.5-3 year separation but daycare costs make that feel impossible. I started a new job this week that complicates things that much more because now it’s a question of not being able to afford daycare and when’s a ‘good’/appropriate time to do it with a new gig. Questions, questions, questions.

    http://www.carriedawaydetroit.com
    http://www.after5detroit.com

  8. Thank you so much for this! My favorite “coffee with Liz” so far; you are so great!! I’m pregnant with my 2nd and found this to be so relatable 🙂

  9. Any suggestions for travel bags to put toiletries in (not makeup)? Looking for something big enough to fit full-size items. Thank you!!