Family over 3 years ago by Liz Adams

My New Normal

working-momIn the last 15 weeks it is no secret that my life has drastically changed. I’ve touched on motherhood here and here but there is so much more to my life now. Change can be tough, especially for someone who can 100% confirm that she doesn’t like to be pushed outside of her comfort zone. I like to be in control and if I’ve learned anything it is that Charlie does not give a shit about me having control. He runs my world now.

When I was 3 months pregnant one of my best friends, Emily of Isn’t That Charming, had just given birth to her baby girl, Grace. I came over to spend the day with her and pick her brain about EVERYTHING. Labor, breastfeeding, blogging, happiness levels, relationships, love. I knew I was excited about becoming a mom but I needed someone to give me the reality of it all. Emily is the best person when you’re in need of a good girlfriend chat session – she is honest, provides positive feedback and doesn’t sugar coat things, plus she without a doubt has the kindest heart of anyone I know. I remember leaving her house feeling relieved and now that I am a mom myself I am comforted knowing that other people experienced the same emotions. It’s funny – you can read all the books, blogs, internet articles – no one tells you what you need to know like a good friend.

One of the biggest topics we discussed was being prepared for the amount of love you would have for your baby. We both agreed that it was hard to connect with our babies when they were in our tummies. I’ve touched on this before but I quickly realized that I wasn’t as prepared to be a mom as I thought I would be. This was probably my biggest hurdle the first 6 weeks. I really missed life before baby and couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel where life before baby and life after could come together. Luckily at 6 weeks everything changed, Charlie started noticing us more, smiling and my love for him grew overnight. Now I get these incredible shivers of undying love and obsession for him on a daily basis. It’s the best.

My love for Charlie overpowers everything these days and the biggest change and challenge has been with my work. I’ve gotten a ton of questions from readers asking how I manage my work these days and I hate to say it but I kind of don’t. I’m really flying by the seat of my pants, trying my best to get content up and keep you guys coming back! I finally upgraded my camera before Charlie was born, knowing that I would need Dave to step up as photographer so that I could have content more readily available. However, time is not on my side these days (and sleep is more important!).

The problem is that nothing seems to be as important as Charlie’s happiness. I feel guilty when I lay him down to play and I sit and stare at a computer when I should be looking at and savoring him. When he sleeps, I rush to either get a workout in at home and shower, clean up our place or just catch up on emails. It’s a struggle that I’m sure I’ll find some balance to eventually but for now I’m okay with this schedule. If it means that I get to spend as much time with Charlie as I please, then that is fine by me. I know I am so incredibly fortunate that I get to work from home and be with Charlie – there is no complaining here.

Ultimately being a mom feels like such a gift. I have cried more in the last 15 weeks than I have in my life. My emotions run wild when I read a story about other moms struggling, children getting sick, death – everything. I remember a few weeks after having Charlie, I posted on my instagram that I was having a bad day and a reader commented “the days are long but the years are short,” and it has resonated with me ever since. Life is so fleeting. There are so many distractions these days and I have to thank motherhood for allowing me to take a step back, relinquish control, give up my phone and savor my family.

I hope that each and every one of you has the opportunity to feel the overwhelming amount of purpose being a mom gives you. Living for another person is incredibly fulfilling and gives a different meaning to the things you do in life. It heightens every feeling of love you’ve ever had and makes you look at things, people and situations with more compassion. My new life is everything I hoped it would be and more, a new normal and a new beginning that I’m so grateful for.

My friend Emily is sharing some advice on motherhood today, too! She is discussing the personal details that every girl needs to know. Head over to her blog for even more insights.

As always, if you have any questions feel free to leave them in the comments or email me at [email protected] Thanks for all of your support, always! xo

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  1. I just recently found your blog and totally relate. I have a three week old daughter and my days are similar. I just want to soak up the time with her before I have to go back to work.

  2. I’m a new mom and a friend turned me on to your blog. I love it! I think you have a whole new readership and your peeps will definitely keep coming back! Best of luck! xoxo P.S. My Henry is wearing the same outfit right now- his fourth of the morning at only 9:15 am.

  3. I find your new approach to your blog, family and life very inspirational. I think its refreshing to hear the “real” side of having a baby, how your relationships change (with yourself, your husband and your friends) and its, frankly, great to see the evolution of your blog during this huge life event. You seem like a wonderful mother and Charlie (and Dave and Webster) is very lucky to have you.

  4. Thanks for sharing your journey, Liz. I appreciate your honesty and giving us the insight about motherhood. It’s often so glamorized in movies, even social media at times, and it’s refreshing to get REAL talk. Charlie is such a sweetheart – I love your snaps with him. Blessings to you and your family (Webster included)!

  5. I get all the new momma feels all over again after reading your post. It’s so hard but worth the fight in the first few months. You’ll find your new normal and your new stride. At the end of the day, life with Charlie is what matters and I personally will keep coming back to read your blog even if it’s less about fashion and more about baby life!

    Jamie of Hello There, Lady!

  6. I love this post Liz. Makes me excited and nervous all at the same time to experience being a mom. I’m glad I have you and Em as a support group to help me along the way. xo.

  7. Love this! I am a long time reader (and went to Ohio State around the same time as you) living in Charlotte. I have a 7 mo little boy. I love how honest and real you keep it on here. Totally agree about squeezing in sleep and workouts when they nap. Focus on you first when you get the time, don’t worry about work it will always be there! I get those shivers of love too- well put! You’re doing a great job and Charlie is precious.

  8. I am about 11 weeks from having my first so this post definitely resonates with me! I am experiencing some of the same anxieties and you are so correct in that your girlfriends’ truths are very comforting! Thanks for sharing the realities of motherhood! xoxo, Kara Mayland
    http://www.styleasyoumay.com

  9. Truly loved this, Liz. I can’t imagine how much changes once a baby is born, and how difficult it is to adjust. “Adjust” doesn’t even seem to do it justice! Thank you so much for sharing this; It’s a post I’ll remember for a long time. 🙂

    xx
    Kelly | Kelly in the City

  10. This made me tear up. I love your honesty! I’m expecting my first child in July and as much as I am excited, I am nervous and scared all at the same time! I appreciate how real you are about it. Many bloggers just show the good parts of looking perfect and making it all look easy. I’m excited to read more as time goes on!

    P.S. Your snapchats are adorable. He is the cutest little thing!

  11. What a CUTIE! How do you get anything done with that little face looking at you? Oh never mind I just read the rest of your blog and apparently you don’t. HA.
    love you Liz

  12. I can totally relate! While my boys are teenagers now, I remember those first few weeks with each one of them and feeling so many things at once, total love for them but so exhausted and wondering if these eating/pooping machines would ever sleep! I went back to work after two weeks with my first and you do what you can to make it work but when I had my second, the job went out the window for five years. I treasure those days of library visits just to get out of the house and indoor picnics when the weather was terrible. It’s cliche and everyone says it, but it really does go by fast. I never thought they would grow up this quickly and now I have a son looking at universities! It feels like only yesterday he was grabbing my hand to cross the street. Enjoy your moments with little Charlie! xx celebratingthislife.ca

  13. My experience over the past 7 months has been extremely similar to yours, and you are so right, nobody can fully prepare you for any of it. You just have to live and learn. My blog has definitely suffered, but I could care less. Like you mentioned, my daughter’s happiness and well being is my #1 concern each and every day. Everything else takes a backseat. xoxo

    http://classroomcouture.blogspot.com

  14. I have a four month old daughter and have been loving all of your motherhood posts – you do SUCH a good job articulating the real joys (and hardships!) of being a mother.

    Please keep it coming – I always look forward to reading your Charlie posts 🙂

  15. First of all can I just point out what you already know which is Charlie is a model baby?! I had a Charlie of my own last summer in Chicago and I am really happy to see a blogger’s admittance to a shift in priorities as that’s what happens to a lot of mothers! Often times people try to change perceptions to prove they can do it all but I much prefer your “I kind of don’t” approach because it’s simply just good enough. Keep shedding those tears because the importance life now has to you is worth every last drop!

  16. Hi Liz,

    This is my first time commenting on your blog! I am so moved by your real, raw and inspiring story! Isn’t it funny how sometimes when everything should be amazing, you don’t feel that amazing buzz…and then something changes, your mind shifts into gear and everything clicks?! I am newly engaged, so babies are a few years down the road, but I love the comfort of reading this post and knowing that not everything is always perfect but they can still be great at the same time! I’m so happy you’re feeling fulfilled and enjoying motherhood! Xo

    @stylemelauren
    http://www.stylemelauren.com

  17. I’m listening to the podcast from when you were on The Lively Show and came to check out your blog. “The days are long but the years are short” is SO true. I think about that quote all the time when I make choices about where/how to spend my time, and it makes me think about needing to be “present” when I’m home with my family, because there will be some day that I’ll miss these days of babyhood/childhood that I’ll never get back.

  18. Hi,

    I’ve popped in and out to read your blog now and then over the past few years, but I’ve been a consistent reader since you’ve had your baby. Your honesty about your experience with motherhood is really great, and I am loving reading about your new normal- and I don’t have a child or any plans to have one soon! I think that moving away from some of your previous content and focusing more on motherhood is fine if that is what reflects your new reality. It makes for more engaging reading, in my opinion.

    Thanks and keep up the good work- don’t sweat it too much, your baby comes first! 🙂

  19. Hi Liz! Charlie is so cute! As a fellow Chicagoan with a 6 week old little guy, I’m wondering if you’ve had to edit your wardrobe at all for nursing in public? We’re (finally!!!) starting to venture out of the house and I’m trying to figure out what to wear so that I can nurse without revealing everything and without buying a bunch of nursing tops. Do you have any suggestions or do you usually bottle feed while out? My little guy is currently refusing the bottle so I’m trying to figure out this nursing in public thing! Thanks!

  20. Hi Liz, just a quick comment of gratitude. I have been loving your blog for a few years now and now have an 8 week old at home — also my first! I just wanted to say I really appreciate your honest words about how hard (yet rewarding) life is with a newborn. I struggle to put on even cute workout gear — I am usually in baggy sweats and no bra! Gross. It’s not picture perfect and I just really am thankful to know that the most fashionable lady I follow is not faking it for her fans/making me feel like a failure because of how she projects her life to the public. Thank you! P.S. Charlie is beyond cute. I bet his smiles send you over the moon. Congrats!