Alix of Bohemia Dress (other styles here and here)
For so long I always felt like the more I pushed myself, the more I would figure out what was meant for me. The more I proved myself to others, the more response and feedback I received, the more I would fall into something bigger and better. It makes sense, right? I mean not really. Why would I rely on someone else’s feedback to validate what is meant for me? For so long, I’ve searched for the answer of “what’s next?” and I feel like in the past year I’ve finally figured it out.
Since December, I’ve been a balloon. Slowly floating through the air, not really on any sort of track, trying to gain traction but inevitably bumping into a wall and changing course. It’s honestly been sort of unsettling and liberating all at once. I have had this urgency to grasp on to routine but also this amazing sense of not really giving a f*ck. As someone who has always thrived on having an answer for everything, it’s been nice to relinquish control, not set a timeline for myself and embrace this season of life. Inevitably I think it has lead me to realizing what really makes me happy, my passion and my purpose.
A month or so ago I asked Charlie what he thought I did for work and his response was “you take care of us.” It was a beautiful reminder of what I want from my platforms, my purpose for starting a new business (if you missed it! follow us here) and beyond. My greatest joy in life and when I feel the most content is when I’m undistracted with my kids/family. Cooking together, lounging on the couch, watching a movie, playing outside – uninterrupted time that doesn’t need to be captured or documented, there is nothing to share and nothing to prove. That is when I feel the most fulfilled. I think that is the first step in finding your purpose – realizing the moments that make you feel fulfilled and going from there. It’s in those moments that you start to see the bigger picture. For me, I started to see that my purpose lies between having a career I love and wanting my family to always know that they come first. A place to combine my love for sharing and to show my kids that taking care of them is always my first priority.
Beyond that, I want to make women feel supported. It’s hard to do as a mom of three trying to tackle one day at a time over here, but I always hope my content makes just one person out there feel less alone. To remind you that your feelings are valid, that you are doing the best that you can, that life isn’t always pretty but it’s beautiful, that the mess is worth it and that life is too short to waste it trying to be something else. I spent a lot of years striving for a picture of perfection that was never achievable because it wasn’t the life that I wanted – it wasn’t my purpose.
So how do these two things work together? Family and support. Mom life and community. Friendship and relatability. Embracing the chaos, savoring the mess, being honest about the hardships and riding the ever changing seasons of life. If I’ve learned anything as a mom it’s that there are times when you have to really dig deep, you have to be selfish, you have to find joy in things that can feel tough on the surface. You have to have fun, because parenthood is a JOURNEY. We have to celebrate all of the little victories, all the days when we put our kids to bed and think “I miss them,” all the reasons that this gig fulfills us the most. I feel so grateful that my purpose combines two things that I love – family and community.
I’m not sure I’ve really found my purpose yet – why I’m here or all that’s meant for me. I honestly don’t know if that’s something we ever fully define. We should evolve and grow and hope to always learn something new about ourselves. I’ll be sharing more details about Olive Lane which I’m launching at the end of this week. But it comes from a place that this last year has proven is more important to me than I knew. More engrained in me than I ever imagined. It’s a passion that fuels my love for family and gathering people and celebrating any random day. I can’t wait to share it with you!