Before I became a mom I would always tell my friends that nothing would change. I would still be the same person, my priorities wouldn’t totally shift and things would be back to normal in no time. Dave and I always made plans to get everyone together, always made it a point to dedicate social time separately and as a couple and we had a great balance of dedicating time to everything. Then I became a parent and all of that changed. I am still definitely the same person but everything about my priorities, where I choose to spend my time, my focus in life – that all revolves around my kids.
If you had told me this would happen before then I would have told you “no way!” I was always the friend who had FOMO because I never wanted to miss a fun experience. Our kids were just going to be an extension of us as a couple! So we said. It’s kind of true, we still take them out and about with us as often as we can but more often than not we have to bail on plans because of cranky mornings, delayed naps, toddler meltdowns…the list goes on. And you know what, that’s okay! If being a parent has taught me anything it is to be more content in the moment.
Being content. A word that was never in my vocabulary. I have always felt this need to get up and go and do more. This industry and social media can sometimes be a constant reminder that your life is not as shiny as someone else’s. Sadly I think that this was a major cause for my postpartum depression after having Charlie. It’s a notion that took me a long time to realize but after having Jack it was like this weight fell off my shoulder and I felt like I was right where I needed to be.
I told my mom the other day that for awhile I had been feeling like every little thing rubbed me the wrong way. I was quick to snap at Dave, if Charlie had a tantrum I felt like I was having one too, cooking dinner felt exhausting and I never seemed to be sleeping well. It was like something was internally weighing on me. Then one day it wasn’t. I felt like a much happier person and I realized that any feelings of stress had melted away and I had an overwhelming feeling of “it’s all going to be okay.” Nothing feels like THAT big of a deal anymore. Dave and I are at such a good place with our kids that we both kind of roll with whatever is thrown at us and I think I’ve come to terms with my shift in priorities.
So when people ask me what motherhood is like or how being a parent to two compares (still can’t believe that!), I always say that there is a sense of happiness and joy that comes with being a parent that just brings an overwhelming feeling of content. I’m so grateful that I get to be their mom FOREVER.
*I’m wearing this Topshop romper in a US 6 (runs small) 🙂