Family 5 months ago by Liz Adams

The Greatest Thing I’ve Learned Since Becoming A Parent

Before I became a mom I would always tell my friends that nothing would change. I would still be the same person, my priorities wouldn’t totally shift and things would be back to normal in no time. Dave and I always made plans to get everyone together, always made it a point to dedicate social time separately and as a couple and we had a great balance of dedicating time to everything. Then I became a parent and all of that changed. I am still definitely the same person but everything about my priorities, where I choose to spend my time, my focus in life – that all revolves around my kids. 

If you had told me this would happen before then I would have told you “no way!” I was always the friend who had FOMO because I never wanted to miss a fun experience. Our kids were just going to be an extension of us as a couple! So we said. It’s kind of true, we still take them out and about with us as often as we can but more often than not we have to bail on plans because of cranky mornings, delayed naps, toddler meltdowns…the list goes on. And you know what, that’s okay! If being a parent has taught me anything it is to be more content in the moment. 

Being content. A word that was never in my vocabulary. I have always felt this need to get up and go and do more. This industry and social media can sometimes be a constant reminder that your life is not as shiny as someone else’s. Sadly I think that this was a major cause for my postpartum depression after having Charlie. It’s a notion that took me a long time to realize but after having Jack it was like this weight fell off my shoulder and I felt like I was right where I needed to be.

I told my mom the other day that for awhile I had been feeling like every little thing rubbed me the wrong way. I was quick to snap at Dave, if Charlie had a tantrum I felt like I was having one too, cooking dinner felt exhausting and I never seemed to be sleeping well. It was like something was internally weighing on me. Then one day it wasn’t. I felt like a much happier person and I realized that any feelings of stress had melted away and I had an overwhelming feeling of “it’s all going to be okay.” Nothing feels like THAT big of a deal anymore. Dave and I are at such a good place with our kids that we both kind of roll with whatever is thrown at us and I think I’ve come to terms with my shift in priorities.

So when people ask me what motherhood is like or how being a parent to two compares (still can’t believe that!), I always say that there is a sense of happiness and joy that comes with being a parent that just brings an overwhelming feeling of content. I’m so grateful that I get to be their mom FOREVER. 

*I’m wearing this Topshop romper in a US 6 (runs small) 🙂

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  1. This was beautifully written, thank you for your honesty. Something very similar happened to me: I struggled to understand that, as Mom, the family’s emotional health suddenly rested on me having the “everything is ok” mentality. You’re right to point out that societally we are taught that nothing should change- so when things do, we worry WE are the problem.
    Again, thanks for your thoughtfulness.
    Mama, M.D.
    MamaMD.GianninaMD.com

  2. You are just the sweetest Liz! Thank you for sharing this post and being so honest. You are a fashion blogger, mother, and kind person overall that I really look up to and admire. Thanks for being you and sharing all of the highs and lows of life with all of us!

    xo Laura Leigh
    http://www.louellareese.com

  3. I’m a first time mom to be – due this August – and I’ve loved following along on your journey as a mom of 2! Thanks for sharing this blog post – it’s so relatable and something I think about a LOT as I prepare for the baby’s arrival in 3 weeks! PS. Can you bring back Cooking with Liz 🙂

  4. Hi!! I am new to your feed (and a mom of 3!). I just wanted to say THANK YOU for keeping it real. You have succeeded in making your life (as displayed on Instagram and your blog) feel worthy and attractive, and mostly- authentic. Thank you for not staging every photo or scene, for laughing a lot, and for making it look (sometimes) like it’s hard…but that it’s going to be OK. That is so relatable for me and I am thankful.

  5. This resonates with me so much! When I had my son I had a very hard time no longer being in control and getting to do what I want when I want it! Now that I’ve let that go and try to be present and enjoy our day to day (even if it doesn’t go how I planned). Thank you so much for sharing! ❤️

  6. This resonates with me so much! I’m a new mom to a little girl and life has changed so drastically. It’s definitely for the better but it’s hard to find that new normal and discover where your former self fits in. I’m still working on that part for sure!

  7. I always love your posts about motherhood. I admire you not only as a mother, but as an all around good person. It’s amazing how much life changes after having a baby, but in so many unexpected ways! As always, thank you for being real and sharing your story with us.

  8. This is such a sweet post! I love this message. I’m a “recovering” perfectionist (well working on it 😉) and being content in some aspects of my life has been a tough lesson to fully grasp. I don’t have kids but my PhD is literally my baby now. Your post made me think of 2 quotes I love and keep as a mantra daily: (1) everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end and (2) worrying is like a rocking chair,it gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere. Love following your cute family and appreciate your honesty!!

  9. Oh Liz. This is beautiful. You are truly one of my favorite bloggers, because you share the real real. You are such a real and beautiful person and I love you for it. (P.S. Totally feel you on the cheek mosquito bite. I was COVERED after our trip to Northern Michigan.)

  10. Love this message! My son is currently 15 months old; I have been feeling the “always on edge, quick to snap, when he has a tantrum I’m having a tantrum” feeling. It hasn’t ever been like that until just recently. Curious to know, did you do something specific to snap out of that feeling? I feel so not myself feeling like that, would love to hear what helped you!

  11. This post is another reason why I make it a point to continue to read your blog over so many others that are available. I love your honesty and you have such a great way of getting it down in words! I love the notion of “being content” – as a mom to a 3.5 year old and 2 month old my world feels upside down (and I’m a planner and like having things in control so you can imagine how that’s going, ha!). I think I’ll take some advice from you and work on just being content and ok with the moment!

  12. As a new mom, I can’t tell you how helpful this post is. When I’m feeling especially helpless and alone as I stumble through this, I try to remind myself that EVERY parent or soon-to-be parent has, is or will go through this as well. Excellent reminder that I’m not alone and to savor the good moments!