This guy. My heart.

It’s easy to get caught up in crap that makes you forget about what’s important. For example, the stress of a new year, new resolutions, and trying to fix things in your life that might not necessarily need fixing. The pressure of having a big career, the pressure to do more, the pressure to be happy – a new year ignites a lot of pressure to be something better than you were last year – which is annoying. There have been a few posts floating around the internets {this, this and this in particular} that got me thinking about my own personal pressures and unspoken fears that ultimately affect me as a person and my life. Instead of holding in these resolutions to generally be better, I am going to pin point the distractions in my life that take away my time from what’s important.

*disappointment in my blog. M+S really made me think about this one and how obviously this was affecting me. There are a lot of blogs out there these days, things are repetitive, things are competitive, and I’ve really tried to make sure that I am myself here on S&S. But sometimes it is easy to feel like a small fish in a big sea. I just have to do the best that I can do, stay true to myself, be a good person and work with what I’ve got. I don’t want to feel like a disappointment if content doesn’t go live at 6am, if I don’t have time to shoot an outfit post, if I’d rather go out to dinner with my fiance than write a post or if my creative juices aren’t flowing enough to provide good content. I guess this means I need to be more confident in myself and this special place.

*social media. Thanks to social media I am typically blogging 24/7. Whether it is Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter or Facebook, I am constantly sharing. Instagram is my biggest weakness, most of the time I don’t even realize I am scrolling through and liking photos – it’s just second nature now which is s.c.a.r.y. My instagram feed is pretty, and I love looking back through this photo diary to see moments that bring me such joy. But, this in no way means that my life is constantly pretty {which I hope you already assume}. Yesterday I was shopping at Nordstrom and an instagram follower happened to be helping me in the Nordstrom shoe department, she was insanely sweet and after feeling completely flattered my second thought was “ugh I look like a mess today. I need to dress like a fashion blogger.” Ew. Anyways, I always want to be me before I am ever associated as a blogger.

*just being. I am constantly making plans. I hate downtime, I always have to have a to-do list, and I can never just be still in the moment. I think this has to do with my phone, constantly feeling like I have to reply to an email within minutes of receiving it or again, checking social media. I need to be okay with moments of nothing, and spending those moments with the ones I love.

*anxiety. You guys I am a paranoid mess. It starts at home, I cannot start the day if something is out of place. I anticipate coming home and wanting everything to be in one place and I can’t work professionally until everything is in order personally {whether this is around the house, errands, etc.}. I am a perfectionist, if I don’t like the way my to-do list looks I have to start over, if I shoot an outfit post and I don’t like the way I look the next day, I never post it. What am I trying to prove? Being a perfectionist is silly. I think I need a more hands-on creative outlet to distract me – I really want to take a painting class.

*literacy. I have a really hard time with my words. Especially when I’m speaking with people in person. I envy my blog friends who can write posts that are so well-written and informative and completely draw me in. I always feel more cultured and educated and confident in my writing when I read more often. Note to self: pick up a book!

These silly thoughts seem to constantly consume me. To the point where I notice the lack of attention in my relationships, dedication to my passions, and overall happiness. Sometimes just saying {typing} them out loud helps, you know? Here’s to focusing on what’s important in 2014, because that’s all that really matters anyways.