Over the past year and a half of living in Charleston, I’ve made a lot of new friends. Some friends I knew before moving here from the influencer space, some are our neighbors who we are lucky enough to live next to and some are friends that I’ve made living life. Making new friends as an adult is an uncomfortable thing. Especially moving to a new city, putting yourself into new situations, introducing yourself to groups of people who already have their people and basically starting over – it’s weird.
But there is also something magical in moving somewhere where no one has pre-conceived opinions of you. We moved from the suburb that I grew up in outside of Chicago. Where I would constantly run into friends from high school, friends’ parents, people that knew my parents, people that knew my business, etc. I think working in this industry has forced me to create a protective barrier around myself and my family. I once would describe myself as an extrovert but I have very much become an introvert in part to my job. That being said, it’s been amazing to move somewhere new where you just get to be you. And starting over with that mentality has helped me find friends so much more quickly and authentically.
I am constantly asked about friendships – as an adult and as someone who has moved somewhere new. And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there is something magical that happens as you get older and you’re more confident in yourself. So my biggest suggestion is to put yourself out there, say hello, say yes to the uncomfortable meeting. Go to the park with your kids, say hello to the mom behind you in carpool, sign up for the gym class with your littles, go on a date with your spouse and say hi to the cute couple next to you, ask your neighbor for friend suggestions. When we moved here I had dinner with some other influencers and I asked them how they made friends here, and they said that it came naturally. And I was so worried then that I would never have a group of friends and now I’m so grateful that I let it happen naturally.
I think a big part of feeling like it is hard is not believing that you’re good enough or worthy of friendships, that you make it an uncomfortable situation before it even happens! So I obviously can’t tell you how to make friends but I CAN tell you that being vulnerable, saying hello, and saying yes, works. And at this stage in life, I don’t need ALL the friends. I don’t need to be seen at all the events or social all the time even. But I need the group of girls I know I can call when I need something, to vent to, to commiserate on motherhood and young kids and life. You need the group of women around you who support you in the stage of life that you’re in, and I’m lucky that I’ve found that here in Charleston.
SO GO BE YOU! Because that’s the best you can be and your future friends will see that and be proud to know you for who you are.