Liz 17 days ago by Liz Adams

Settling into 2022

shop this look: Rachel Antanoff Jumpsuit (wearing a small)

Hello and welcome to January! The leap from December to January always feels sort of jarring. Like overnight we go from celebrating the holidays and joyful to quiet, winter doldrums. I kind of feel like I’m going to let this January be a little lazy. After a year of pushing myself to get back into whatever groove I thought I had before a move and a baby, I need a month to just be. We deserve a period of time between December and the start of a new year to ease in. January seems like a good month to do so.

I think I feel this way because I spent the last 8 days of 2021 with COVID (yes, I am fully vaccinated). I started to feel very fatigued on Christmas night. I sort of chalked it up to a holiday season hangover from early mornings with the kids, too much wine and not enough water. But the day after Christmas I woke up feeling a little more beat up, took some Advil and tried to fight through it for the day but by that night I was feeling very fluish. I fought a fever for the next 48 hours, quarantined up in our bedroom, followed by a few days of emerging when I needed to with a mask. It was a solid 6/7 days of sickness but I’m feeling so much better, pretty much back to normal with a little bit of post sickness fatigue. Many of you remembered that I actually tested positive this time last year when I was having George although I only found out because of a routine test before delivery and I was asymptomatic. I got so many messages on Instagram about our protocol and what we were doing to keep our family safe this time around (I was the only one who ended up testing positive) and it reminded me how all-consuming this has been for our mindsets over the past couple years.

We quarantined as a family for a week although I was very much absent/isolated for majority of it. Dave had just gotten his booster two weeks ago and dealt with symptoms for 48 hours after so he felt fine which thank GOD because if both of us were down it would have been a different experience. I had so many mom’s reach out about what to do and honestly, you have to do what’s best for your family. My kids came into my room 20x a day asking if I was ok, crying for me, begging me to come downstairs. You can follow all of the guidelines in place and you still have to do what works for your own family. We got to a point where we were either all going to get it together or get lucky. We got lucky!

So here we are, January 3 and I kind of feel like wtf was 2021. I had a lot of time to think about who I am and what I am doing. What I want for myself and my family and my mindset. I feel like the last two years I’ve been living in fear and I am completely exhausted. Covid is one thing but the idea of this looming illness has heightened every fear of sickness I have for my kids and my family. I’m so tired. It’s like I am hyper aware of everything around me, every comment that is made, every opportunity for me to say or do the wrong thing based on someone else’s opinion…The other night Dave woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom. I was woken up by the light and when I thought he had been in there for too long I raced in asking if everything was ok. He was looking for some Tums and gave me a hug and said “hunny, do you live your life in fear?” and I responded Yes! I fear every noise, every stir in the night from my kids, every DM, every chance for something to go wrong. And I’m exhausted.

I was reminded of something my friend Jackie told me last year about problem or possibility. If you look at things from a fear based perspective then there will always be a problem. But if you look at something with the idea that it could go well and be amazing, then there is so much more possibility. I am really going to take this into 2022 with me.

So that’s where I’m at! Emerging from the COVID cloud and going to give myself a break (not from work but from my own thoughts, ha). And I hope you’re well and you’re healthy and your family is healthy and safe because I don’t wish this on anyone. If I learned anything it’s that we are all just doing our best. And maybe someone else’s best doesn’t look like your best and that’s ok.

I’m excited to have you here and I’m looking forward to the year ahead. xoxo

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  1. I’m totally feeling all of this too. My husband had covid over Christmas (tested positive on the 24th) and it was so hard not to worry about every little thing. I couldn’t stand the thought of him isolating himself on Christmas Day so we just took the risk of everyone being together. Thankfully, no one else got it! We got lucky too!
    I’ve also been living in fear of every little thing. Every noise, every disruption to our day, every little sneeze or sniffle. Not to mention, having a baby in a pandemic has taken my postpartum anxiety to a whole new level! It’s all taken such a toll on me. Thank you for sharing your experience and feelings! It’s helped me to not feel so alone.

  2. Thank you for this. The fear is exhausting. I don’t know how to fix it but I know I can’t live this way anymore. Sending love and peace to your family in 2022.

  3. Beautifully and wonderfully well said! You are the best, Liz! I can absolutely relate to living in fear. You are right, it’s time to take a break from thoughts. So glad you are okay.

  4. All of this resonates with me, so so much. We have a boy who had just turned 1 at the beginning of the pandemic and also have a Covid baby girl (10 months) so every little sniffle has had me worried and concerned, and it’s utterly exhausting. I also work in healthcare and have had Covid embedded in my brain from that side too. 🥴 Love the idea of turning your mindset around…definitely going to try this! Thanks for making me feel less alone in this wild wild world we’re living in!

    1. You are a trooper!! The fear means you’re an amazing mom, too. It’s all important even though it robs us of so much peace!

  5. I could have written this post! Thank you for sharing your heart! My 10 year old son tested positive after contracting it on Christmas Eve. Per his pediatrician, she said to assume we were all positive and to quarantine. I am grateful that all our symptoms were mild. In 2022, I’m ready to live in joy and purpose and not in fear!

  6. This comment could not have resonated stronger than it did!! As soon as I read it, my word for the year simply popped into my head…COURAGE!! Thank you for sharing your struggle as I feel it is a place too many of us have lived for the past 2 years and it is truly exhausting! Praying for healing and strength for us all!

  7. Thank you for sharing this !! I too have been living the same way & dealing with the worst exhaustion from it all. Even though I wouldn’t want anyone else to live this way, selfishly, I am glad that I am not alone. Hopefully we can all be a little less fearful in the New Year.

    Thanks for always being so honest about real life things. It is truly inspiring and really helps other moms out there not feel so alone.

    Happy New Year ❤

  8. I love this. It’s been hard not to live the past few years in fear. I had a epidemiologist friend share Covid variants originally were in the lungs so less transmissible but more severe, now it has moved up to the mouth/nose mainly so more contagious but less severe. She said this is the future of variants. It made me feel safer that illnesses will be less severe. Once this surge is over I’m going to try to be doing more outside, restaurants etc. I hope you have peace and health in 2022!

  9. We had almost the exact same Christmas it seems. It was draining and a bummer. You have taken the words out of my mouth- us moms (and women in general) have to wear so many hats as it is and the looming fear is just draining us all. For 2022, I hope everyone chooses to live in positivity and their light – it is infectious and creates so many possibilities for our communities big and small! Let’s all lift each other up this year and say goodbye to criticism and the fear! Thank you for always keeping it real! Xoxo

  10. Thank you for sharing how you’ve been feeling. I feel the same way too! We haven’t gotten Covid yet but it feels like a matter of time. Sending my kids back to school feels so scary. Ever since I’ve had kids (I have teenagers now), I’ve worried every flu season, every time I hear about some new scary illness on the news etc. and now a pandemic! UGH. It’s awful to live in fear but I can’t deny those feelings either. I try to accept that the fear is there and to just keep moving forward. Some of us are more sensitive souls and it is also the place some of our good qualities come from too! So glad to hear you are all better now and hopefully we can all move into 2022 with more joy than fear! <3

  11. Love this post, Liz! I was feeling the same way after a number of big life changes. No matter how much rest I got, I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. Thanks for being vulnerable and relatable. It always helps to hear I’m not the only one.

    I’ve learned through therapy that a number of these things are classic anxiety- hyper vigilance, thinking the worst even when a problem isn’t yet there, concern about others’ opinions over your own, etc. It may be something worth exploring further!

  12. you’re always so relatable liz! it’s the midwest in you ;o) i’m not a mom but i care for my bf who has chronic pain and illnesses. aaaand i’m a woman. ha! for 17 years i’ve lived in fear of every noise and ailment because at one point, those noises, ailments and “minor” issues WERE something major and traumatic. i have ptsd from it so navigating the last 2 years with not only covid but the WORLD has put me in a heightened space. i started to let go of everything being an emergency and being scared of everything just as covid hit. therapy helps!!! haha. thanks for this. knowing we’re all working on something similar helps to keep focused on healing as best we can within the times we live in. thank you!

  13. I feel ya. We had Covid as a family a couple months ago (and vaccinated) and it is exhausting. The fear is exhausting. Living in this mental state is exhausting. We all need a mental break from this. Society needs to take a mental break in 2022

  14. Thank you for this post and the idea of a new perspective to bring into 2022, so we can live our life’s without feeling the exhaustion 24/7. I appreciate this so much. I hope you are feeling better, take care!

  15. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I don’t get the connection to the stories about this blog saying don’t watch the news. I just don’t see the connection from that comment to this post.

    I think these feelings are something that good parenting takes over your mind and truly makes you fearful. I read this quote saying spend less times thinking how things affect you and more time thinking how you affect things. I feel this is the constant reassuring feelings parents especially moms need to give themselves.

  16. I learnt this very important lesson too, post becomming a mother. There is so much we can fear but it literally cripples you, for me, to the point where I had to let it go or who knows where I’d be. Thank you for sharing this Liz. Happy New Year and here’s to a marvellous 2022!

  17. Ugh, Liz. I feel for you and all of the parents having to deal with this. I’m a pediatric ER nurse and – for the most part – parents are really just doing their best.

    I spent 2020 and the first half of 2021 angry, living in a constant state of anxiety, and fear. Ultimately, I realized (not without some help!) that I can’t control everyone and everything. I can’t let what people do/say impact me and I can just do my best and encourage others to do their best.

    Take a break. Log out. Turn off the TV. End conversations about topics that aren’t serving you at that time. Go outside, get fresh air, whatever! Protect your peace and take care of you and your family. Happy new year, Liz!

  18. This! The constant fear, stress, etc., of COVID is exhausting. We also had a baby in the midst (our second, one month into the pandemic) and it’s left me constantly wondering if I’m stressed because we’re a family of four or because of COVID or politics or the politics around COVID or what. All of that and more, I’m sure. I feel you, 100%. I cannot wait for our youngest to be eligible for vaccination and be able to move on a bit (if that’s possible). Here’s to more healing energy in 2022 and taking this month to chill out a bit.

  19. This really resonated with me. I am so tired from the last two years and feeling very fearful. I am also taking January to rest and cocoon a bit. Have you ever read Wintering by Katherine May? That book really helped me let go and enjoy winter for what it can offer me. She starts the book with a similar story about exhaustion. Thanks for always sharing so openly, Liz