Motherhood 2 months ago by Liz Adams

My Scariest Mom Moment + Coping with Parenting Anxiety

March 25th, 2018 was Dave’s birthday! We woke up so excited to bring him coffee and pancakes in bed. Jack was only 4 months old and Charlie was my little busy body. We were living at my parent’s house while we finished renovating our kitchen so Dave and I slept on the third floor. Charlie and I made him a coffee and a plate full of pancakes and walked up two flights of stairs to the third floor. I had Jack in one arm and a cup of coffee in the other while Charlie carried the pancakes. When we got upstairs I took a photo of Jack and Charlie laying with Dave in bed! They were so cute. I laid Jack on a daybed behind me and sat down next to him to rub his belly. I got up to help Charlie off the bed and Jack rolled off the daybed and landed on his back on the ground. I was a wreck! He had never rolled over and I cried as he sobbed thinking that I was the worst mom in the world. All morning I feared he had a concussion. I kept checking his pupils and double checking his body for bumps and bruises.

When I put Jack down for his morning nap he seemed totally fine so Dave went to the gym and I stayed home with the boys. I needed to shower so decided to have Charlie join me (not out of the ordinary)! We grabbed a bunch of toys and he played on the ground while I showered. He stepped out of the shower to grab an extra toy and when he stepped back in he slipped and slammed the side of his head on the tile floor of the shower. I still remember the sound it made. He cried as any normal child would, I checked for bumps and after a few minutes he calmed down. Fast forward a couple of hours and we were cooking a big lunch for Dave’s birthday when all of a sudden Charlie fell over while standing on the ground. He tried to get up and couldn’t walk. Dave picked him up, handed him to me, told me he was going to start vomiting and that we needed to go to the ER. He had a concussion. So all morning I was worried about Jack and Charlie falls and gets a concussion. On my watch. Both boys fell on my watch. 

We rushed him to the ER and waited for a doctor to examine him. Charlie still couldn’t stand up on his own or take any steps without falling (terrifying given Charlie is the most STABLE child ever). The ER doctor recommended we do an MRI to rule out bleeding of his brain. I sobbed and we agreed that would be best. Thank the lord the MRI came back clear and after another couple hours in the ER he slowly got his stability back and we were released. It was truly the worst day of my life thus far. Two days later he was checked again by his pediatrician who so kindly reminded me that these things happen and it won’t be my last trip to the ER as a mom to boys. 

Since becoming a mom, my anxiety has skyrocketed. I wouldn’t say it’s constant but when it is there, it is dark. I fear the worst possible outcome of everything. I second guess certain situations thinking what if something happened a different way. I think these thoughts come with the territory when every day you’re living for someone else. I look at Charlie and Jack and think of their innocence and the fact that every day they wake up feeling safe because of the life we’ve set in place for them. I hope they always find comfort in that, even when they see the darkness in our world. When I’m caught up in the joy of every day, the dark thoughts subside. When I let myself just enjoy what’s in front of me instead of reading the news or seeing another child diagnosed with cancer posted on social media then I don’t fear the what if’s or unknowns. Do I know how to cope? I don’t think so. But I know that every day I’m doing the best that I can to keep them safe and healthy and happy and ultimately that is the best I can do. 

If you’re a parent, how do you cope with anxiety? Do you have any tricks? Please share them in the comments! I think this post could be so helpful and comforting to other mamas.

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  1. This is one of the things that makes me very nervous about having kids. My anxiety is already bad with just a dog! I’m so glad both boys ended up being okay. It sounds scary, but you all made it through!

  2. Oh Liz I remember this day, with what you shared on stories but don’t think I knew about Jack. What a horrible day for you, you poor thing. I’m so glad they were both fine. My little baby boy who also had never moved fell/flipped off the couch whilst I was making his milk. I too was beside myself and felt like the worst mum. Thankfully he was fine too, such a horrible feeling like you’ve failed them

  3. Thank you so much for writing this! When welcomed our baby boy, every mom warned me, that being a boy mom meant preparing emotionally for the bumps, bruises, and unexpected trips to the ER. It’s hard to ever put in words the love we feel for our kids and the guilt we feel when something happens under our watch. I feel like I am always trying to find a loophole for how I can avoid it but the reality is…it’s unavoidable and it happens. Your honesty and grace are forever my inspiration, Liz!

  4. I’m so glad you posted this… Because I also feel consumed by fear sometimes that my kids will get hurt or sick. My daughter fell once like that and it was awful. I can’t say that I have good strategies, but I’m thankful you started this conversation because simply saying my fear to another is incredibly helpful.

  5. I hope this post helps many mothers out there! It’s scary what you guys go through every day. Props for dealing with your anxiety in such a mature way, Liz! ❤️✨

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
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  6. You’re tough! I would have fainted or worse.

    I live in constant terror of something happening to one of my boys (I have two also – 3 and nearly 3 months). When Lucas was one he tripped in the kitchen, hit the pantry door and got a huge goose egg immediately. I flipped out, probably more than he did. The 10 minute drive to ER was the longest in my life and I had him sing a song the entire drive.

    The worse case scenario comes to my head constantly. I walk down the stairs and imagine what would happen if Sam fell. When I drive I am paranoid about getting in an accident and whether I’d die immediately or murder someone if something happened to my boys. Aside from the goose-egg that didn’t even require tests, nothing has ever happened but having two boys I know it will and I’m not ready.

  7. Omg that is so scary! I have two little boys under 3yo and completely understand your anxiety. I used to have a terrible fear that they were going to die and be taken away from me. My mom sent me this podcast a few weeks ago and it had helped me SO much. I remember you said they you’re a Christian – it’s more encouraging to listen to if you are but can probably help put things into perspective even if you aren’t.

    https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/timothy-keller-sermons-podcast-by-gospel-in-life/id352660924?i=1000125558407&mt=2

  8. I don’t know how moms of kids with serious illness or injury do it. When my 15-month-old Charlie fell and busted his lip a few weeks ago (thankfully his worst injury to date), I was a complete wreck. I’m sure it will be the first of many, but that first one is so hard. We all just do the best we can, and I know it’s better than we give ourselves credit for.

  9. So scary! Thankful the boys are fine and healthy! I gravitate to my husband to assure me when something happens – two ER trips and counting for our toddler. As far as other ways of coping with parental anxiety, I think a nice long walk with my little one or a family dance party can do the trick of calming my nerves…shake off all the bad vibes. Dance parties have helped even during the non-anxious moments too.

  10. My 16-month-old son Oliver and I were alone one afternoon a few months ago. I decided we would go for a stroll before his dad got home, so I strapped him into the stroller. We were about to head out from the front porch of our house when I quickly turned to lock the door – the stroller within reach – and within one second, the stroller rolled off the front porch step and fell forward with him hitting his forehead squarely on the concrete walkway. It was HORRIBLE. His big forehead bruise was a terrible reminder every day of what I had done to him – I knew it was just an accident, but it was terrifying! No concussion, just a goose egg. What a horrible day.

    1. Omg the same exact thing happened to me and my then 2 week old! I was so incredibly thankful that the strong arm to his infant carrier was up and caught the brunt of the fall; baby barely woke up. But I felt (and still do when thinking back on it) so awful and guilty about it. You’re not alone!

  11. The anxiety is so real. I have started to meditate (using the headspace app) so I have more emotional bandwidth when crazy things happen with my two little kiddos. That helped a ton when my little one fell off the bed, got a concussion, passed out in my arms and had to go to the hospital (uugghh). Also not specifically around anxiety but I highly recommend the Brené Brown Call to Courage Netflix show and her ted talks. She talks about dealing with vulnerability, shame and courage, all of which help with anxiety and are needed for parenting to the best of our abilities! Hope that helps!!!

  12. It’s so brave of you to share this and to start this conversation. The reality is, kids get hurt, accidents happen even under the most watchful eye and on the most regular days – but it’s so hard to not carry all of the guilt when those accidents do happen or to not keep our babies wrapped in a safe little bubble. My son is 18 months and luckily we haven’t had any major accidents – I know the day is coming and I have a hard time keeping my worry and fear in check. He’s taken a couple of spills and is just getting faster and stronger and climbing higher these days! But like you I try to remind myself that accidents happen, I’m doing the best I can to keep him safe and happy, and I can’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet. And at the end of the day, those skinned knees and little bumps are just helping to make the two of us more resilient.

  13. I just focus on the good and take each day as it comes. Parenting is scary but you don’t want time to pass you by while you focus on the what if’s.

  14. That must have been such a hard day for you guys.
    When I get anxious about parenting type things or anything really, I find that it helps to say it out loud to my husband. And remind him that I’m not looking for him to tell me I’m overthinking yada yada yada. I just want to him to know that I’m anxious in that moment, and then he can be sensitive to that. Reassuring me along the way. Doesn’t make it go away but definitely helps me feel like I’m not alone.

  15. I have a lot of parental anxiety. With my first because I had never had any experience with children before him. I am an only child and no real family who had little ones. So, I am constantly worried whether or not he’s growing appropriately. Whether or not he’s acting socially acceptable. And he just turned 6 and I still have all these fears.

    My real anxiety comes from my middle child. During the whole pregnancy with Ben, I was told “everything looks great. Baby is doing so well.” Then he was born. His belly was distended beyond the normal range and immediately they ran tests and scans and he was even transported to a different hospital was while I waiting for my epidural to wear off. It only took days, but he was diagnosed with Stage 4 High Risk Neuroblastoma. Cancer. My newborn baby had cancer. And the worst kind. How does that even happen? We started chemo but everything was too much for his little body. The cancer was too strong and took his little life after two weeks.

    I couldn’t process what had happened. I was still only two weeks postpartum and coming off of those hormones and engorgment because I couldn’t breastfeed. How could I missed something as big as this? He was inside and attached to me for 9 months. How did I not know something was wrong?

    We started trying again for a baby not long after that. Probably not the best judgement. But when you have a grieving heart, you don’t rational decisions. I got pregnant in early December of that year. Things were rough. I had super hyperemesis. I couldn’t work or function because of how hard and how violently I was throwing up. After 18 weeks, they diagnosed it as a partial molar pregnancy. The only real viable part of the baby was the heartbeat. There was nothing else. Not only did I miscarry, I had the rarest kind.

    I vowed to not be caught off guard again. So, when I gave birth to our now 4 month old, I’m super paranoid and anxious that I am missing something going on inside of him. I’m hypersensitive to everything about him. The way he looks, the way he breathes, the way he sleeps or eats. It’s every day. It’s consuming. But you push through because you just have too. Kids are resilient. But if we didn’t worry and didn’t fear the worst, then there is cause for concern. Worrying means you care.

  16. Since becoming a parent my anxiety has also skyrocketed. I actually started therapy a few months ago and it’s the best thing I’ve done for myself in a long time! Coupled with working out more and trying to eat better I’m finally feeling much more like myself again

  17. I have a 6mo girl. Anexity is kicking in something fierce. The other day it downed on me that I will never be worry free again, as long as I live… What is weird is that while I had expected some anexity regarding the baby, I also have a new obsession whether something bad were to happen to me, and she wold be left with someone that would not do the job as good as I would… I have started catching up with all my vaccines, and that makes me feel slightly better…

  18. Thanks for sharing that Liz, how scary! I literally just went through something so similar. My hubby and I were away for the weekend and when we returned within 24 hours both my girls suffered head injuries, my oldest Pia fell off our dining chair smacked her head hard, my 9 month old hit her head on the pavement when my jogging stroller flipped over, to the ER we went, luckily all was well no bleed! I suffer from anxiety and it comes and goes in severity! Motherhood is hard and so emotionally taxing at times! we love our littles and want to be able to protect them no matter what! I really rely on my faith to get me through these situations and just everyday life! God is so much bigger and has our best interest at heart! Thankful your boys are both ok! love ya girl!

  19. Such a powerful share. Thank you! As a mom of 2 little ones (3 and 14 months) i’m constantly seeing danger zones all around me. Honestly, if you think about it, every night you tuck your child into bed is a huge success! Accidents have happened on my watch and I get so incredibly down- their trust in us is so profound I never want it to waver. My solution to my anxiety is usually wine. Mostly kidding! But seriously, we learn together when accidents happen. You won’t be able to laugh all of them off, but letting myself sink has never helped anyone. Follow their lead and enjoy the ride!

  20. Thank you for your honest post, Liz. You are not alone in your anxiety as a mother. I have experienced paralyzing anxiety since my son was born, worrying about completely unlikely scenarios and everyday occurrences too. Spending many a sleepless night wondering if all of the windows are locked, what was that sound outside, what if he can’t breath because he’s so congested, what if we get in a car accident, what if he falls off the changing table….Sometimes it can be so overwhelming, especially when there are REAL terrible things happening in the world to REAL families. A friend told me to stop and breath when I’m feeling very anxious, and ask myself “what would you want your son to do if he was feeling worried about something?” I wouldn’t want him to feel helpless, I would want him to feel confident that he can get through it. You just have to do what you can in the moment and put the worry aside (I know easier said than done.) All you can do is your best!

  21. A lot of my anxiety as a mom actually comes from being a little too chill, I think. I don’t worry about a whole lot, which gives me anxiety that something terrible *will* happen to our daughter on my watch because I wasn’t being careful enough. It’s hard to find the boundary between letting them explore and keeping them in a bubble. So maybe I do have anxiety! 🤪 My husband probably worries more than I do but it seems like when we talk about any worries and say things out loud, as stupid as they sound, the worry lessens. We’re having our 2nd this fall and that could be a whole new ballgame with 2 under the age of 2. I just remind myself that I’m doing the best I can (we all are). XOXOXO.

  22. Postpartum anxiety is so under diagnosed and it affects so many of us as mothers. It can extend far far beyond what we might consider (time wise) to be the “postpartum period.” This is why it’s so important to have public conversations about this and share the resources that are available while at the same time finding ways to foster community in our own backyards. I’m struggling with PPA myself and it’s opened my eyes to the need to get back to the (long gone) days of tight knit female communities that you can rely on in difficult times. Thanks for sharing Liz! I hope others will feel safe enough to share their stories and find therapeutic and counseling resources if needed. There’s no shame in asking for help!

  23. Yes to all this! It’s hard for me to decipher if I’m having a “mom gut feeling” or just anxiety about things

  24. How scary! I can’t imagine! My daughter spent her first week in the NICU and I had some complications after an emergency c-section which was totally unexpected considering I had the most uneventful pregnancy. I have never had anxiety but after that experience I was irrationally nervous about walking up and down our 4 flights of stairs with her, forgetting her medicine, leaving her medicine somewhere etc. I am grateful that these thoughts can stop after I say a quick prayer – normally the serenity prayer – which reminds me that I can only control what I can control… the rest is up to God. The irrational worst case scenario thoughts happen less frequently, but man, it was a challenging lesson to learns

  25. Thank you sharing your story! I remember when you shared this in your stories about Charlie and my heart was racing with you (although not the same as a mother going through it). I was most impressed by your strength willing to share a moment that you weren’t proud of. We all have those moments! But aren’t all willing to share them! As moms the mom guilt is real as there is so much pressure to be the perfect parent to create the perfect child. When I can (in moments of anxiety I’m usually not my most calm self haha but after when I’m reflecting) I like to remind myself we are all human and we are all doing this for the first time parent and child. Whether this is your first child or fifth every child comes with new experiences there’s no rule book with one way to do life. The most helpful way to control my parenting anxiety is trying to not compare to others and to live the best life for our family. To be honest Instagram doesn’t help a lot of the time but your real life perspective and willingness to be vulnerable is a great gift you give to this mom community. Thank you for your honesty & strength. You’re a mom inspiration!

  26. When my now teenagers were young babies & toddlers, I experienced the same fears. I had never loved anyone the way I loved my babies & the fear of every unknown was paralyzing at times. At one point I was obsessed with what if I died in my sleep, so when my husband traveled I made my best friend call me every morning to make sure I was alive. That seems so silly now, but at the time the fear was so real. Fast forward a lot of years & there is still worry, but it’s so much better. You watch your kids grow & learn & thrive despite all of the terrible things that could go wrong. I love the Bible verse Col 1:7 “He is before all things and in HIM all things hold together.” I can try to hold it all, but it’s just too big. As my kids have both started driving & one is about to leave for college this fall, I’ve learned to trust that God will continue to love & protect them and I’m so thankful for that peace. Hugs to all you new, young mamas out there. XO-

  27. Thank you for sharing! I have 2 boys slightly older than yours. When my oldest (also a Charlie!) was 2.5, he was in the hospital for a week+ with a life-threatening infection. My youngest was 9 months old and thankfully we had family close by to help. Since then both mine and my husband’s parental anxiety has been terrible. We both go to worst-case scenario every time something minor happens and can’t really console each other. We both turn to our moms for comfort! We also continue to remind each other to just enjoy them and try to live in the present as much as we can. I have recently started therapy, which so far I like, but I realize no one is ever going to be able to tell me everything will always be okay and nothing will be ever happen to them. Things will happen, they will get hurt, and we’ll deal with it when it does because that’s what parents do. But we can’t waste our time worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet because then we’ll never be able to truly enjoy those special moments with them! Parenting is SO hard, but at least we’re not alone! Xo

  28. I have twin boys (just turned 4) and a 7 y.o. daughter. The amount of bruises and scrapes these boys have given one another is insane! Their teachers question me and I feel horrible because sometimes I don’t even know where they come from. We have only had two ER visits and one broken bone (all our daughter), but I know more will come in the future.

    My anxiety doesn’t stem from worry, it stems from a lack of patience, lack of consistency and the feeling that I never ever will catch up and be ahead with organizing and cleaning. I get anxious and feel like a volcano that will erupt when they are incessantly fighting and can’t be good listeners. I am still working on coping with it, but what helps me most is a) the gym b) girl time and c) date nights. I also do have a drink here and there just to help relax.

    You’re a good mom! Accidents happen and you weren’t being neglectful at all- this could have happened to anyone, that I can promise you.

  29. Oh Liz-I remember this day! Makes my heart swell just thinking about it. I have a 1yo son now and have definitely noticed a big uptick in my anxiety. I felt like I needed to be in control of every aspect of my son’s routine and while this helped soothe that anxiety on the surface, underneath it only created an even heavier mental load. Hormones and no outlet led to a lot of tears and worries and emotional outbursts usually aimed at my husband. I finally told him I NEEDED to join some kind of exercise class to get rid of the excess energy that was causing me stress. I started orange theory a few months ago and I think we are all happier because of it. It forced me to let go of my control – to give my husband more one-on-one time with the baby and also bring in outside help from other family members while I went and got a killer workout. As a stay-at-home mom, I truly believe a happy and healthy mom/wife leads to happier times for everyone!

  30. This is the most relatable thing I’ve read in a while! We had our oldest have a febrile seizure (I’ve never heard of this) and it was terrifying. He’s also pulled a very stable dresser on himself AND flipped a boat floatie in the pool. Literally every situation I am planning for worst case and my husband thinks I’m insane. I relieve my worry by being constantly on top of possibilities makes me feel better. At least if I’m on top of my game I will never feel as if I should have/could have been more aware!

  31. My 2 year old son has severe food allergies and twice we’ve had to ride in an ambulance to the ER because he was either non-responsive or couldn’t breathe due to an allergic reaction. Both times I was calm while on the phone with 911 but started sobbing each time I hung up knowing help was on the way. I can never relax around food with him because he is still too young to understand how many different types of food can make him sick. It is my new normal and all I can do is make sure that anyone who comes into contact with him is aware of his allergies, as it takes a village.

  32. I thought I was the only one who had troubling anxiety about being a mom ha ha. No seriously I never experienced anxiety or fear until having kids and sadly it only gets worse the older they get. Just when you’re getting used to the phase they’re in it’s on to the next phase with new worries. You go from worrying about potty training, eating habits and tantrums to grades, boyfriends, them driving on their own, drugs etc. (God forbid a serious illness gets thrown in the mix.) But you definitely never quit worrying about their safety and happiness. The only thing that keeps me sane is to stop and think “it could always be worse” that and consciously remembering how fast time goes and just trying to enjoy the time before it’s over and we’re on to the next phase of life. You seem like a great mom Liz and your kids seem super happy, just keep doing your best, that’s all we can really do.

  33. When my son was only 4 months old, he rolled off the bed onto the floor so quickly. I was right there and turned for one second when it happened. I was a wreck and my husband kindly reminded me that it happens and it’s okay. Our son was fine, just cried because he was scared. I have so many anxieties as a parent and it’s hard to cope sometimes. I feel lucky to have a husband who shares the up’s and down’s, happy and scary moments with me. We both try to remind each other that things will happen and it’s okay to be scared, but it’s important to not overstress or get anxious. I’m so glad your boys are fine! You’re a great mom, Liz.

  34. Honestly, I had to start taking a daily anti-anxiety med once I had my second. And that has helped me so so much. It just levels me out. I think it’s impossible sometimes to not think of the worst case scenario, especially when the idea of anything happening to my babies would be the absolute worst thing possible. When those thoughts creep in, I have to force myself to think of something else, or busy my mind in some way. It’s a constant struggle!

  35. I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety when my son was four months recovering from RSV and I was just back to work. I’ve found saying my anxiety out loud to my husband, mom or friend helps. They understand but they also bring be back to reality and realize that they are just fears, not actual things happening. My anxiety stems from my own postpartum complications and fearing my son will get very sick. My doctor told me 99% of what we get can be cured. The 1% is scary but not likely, that was a peace of mind for me. The Dr isn’t fearful, so I shouldn’t be either. I think anxiety should be talked about more because the more I talk about it, the more I find other moms have the exact same fears.

  36. Thank you for sharing. This is truly something I’m dealing with in a daily basis after my second baby arrived in March. To deal with anxiety I let myself cry “happy cries!” The special moments are there for a reason. I know it sounds weird, but it’s helped he appreciate the happy moments and blur out the stressful! XO

  37. That will pass, i promise you! When my twins were 3, someone gave us an electric little car, we were in front of our house in the street and my son was going to drive with my daughter in the little back seat. I kept telling her to stay sitting down, then showed him where to push the gas to go, just as he pushed, she stood up!!! She flew off the back, hit her head and started having a seizure!!! OMG, i pulled him out, picked her up and ran up the hill to our house and called 911, they put me on hold so i just loaded in the car and drove like a crazy lady to the ER. The only funny thing about that day was, the nurse thought i meant “fell out of a REAL car”, the doctor was running to our room!!! Anyway, they are 9 now, healthy and 2 pains in my butt!!! You will change with them, they will get more daring and tough and so will you! Love Love!

  38. My son is turning 15 next month. The only comforting words I can share are You Are Not Alone. I have leaned into my faith more as a mom than in any other part of my life. There are so many moms out there that are so selfish. Just the fact that you think about your sons’ health & happiness is a major plus.😘

  39. I remember the day this happened to you and how I you must be feeling. My son, my first child, is two months younger than Jack and I was already a nervous wreck that something was going to happen to him. As your doctor said, these things happen and there’s nothing you can do about it but be there for your babies. I would love to put my son in a bubble to protect him from everything that this world is going to throw at him. Instead I’m trying to raise him to be strong, independent and kind. My hope is that his strength will carry him through tough times, that his independence will build him up to make his way in the world and that his kindness will be one step closer to stopping the hate we are constantly hearing about. I have to put faith in him and myself as his mom instead of focusing on the what if.
    From the small snippet of your life that I see online you are doing a great job and your boys are lucky to have you as their mom.

  40. I went through a very similar situation with my son that you did with Jack. My son was completely fine, but my new mom anxiety sky rocketed and it took me a really long time to calm down and not be so nervous/anxious. The biggest thing I have learned is to speak to other moms about these experiences. It seems like once you finally tell people what you have experienced, or what you are going through, they have already been there or are going through the same thing. It always puts my anxiety at ease knowing I’m not alone in my feelings. These kinds of conversations help so much! Thank you for sharing this, Liz!!

  41. Thank you soooo much for posting this Liz! Love your honesty. My little guy slipped and fell this weekend and immediately I thought it was all my fault because it happened when I was with him. Your truth helps me know we are all going through the same things and are not alone!

  42. I’m not a parent yet, and you didn’t ask for this, but I worry about this all the time. I know I want to have kids, but I can’t imagine how terrifying it must be to have the responsibility of another human who is so tiny. It’s like, if you’re able to get pregnant, yay! Then you hopefully have a fairly uneventful pregnancy, phew. And then every milestone is just one more situations here something can go wrong!! I’m not typically an anxious person, but this is one area that seems insurmountable. I don’t know how parents do it! But I appreciate you bringing up the subject and look forward to reading all the comments!

  43. Thank you for sharing your toughest day and wow that day was a doozy Momma! Reading along I thought of course you are a wonderful mom doing your best everyday and that day just was a series of unfortunate events. However, I am so hard on myself as a mom and blame myself for the tough days and try just the same to curb the anxiety. I too have those crazy “what if” thoughts that keep me up or make me cringe in a moment. I basically shame myself into thinking I am the only one that does this. So I greatly appreciate this post and am right there with ya all we can do is our best and take comfort that our babies do feel safe, happy, and loved. Something that should never be taken for granted.

  44. I thought going into preterm labor and giving birth at 32 weeks was scary but that was just a small glimpse of the fear that was to come… It was just a normal day for Everett and I. He was 5 months old so it was a lot of sleeping, eating and pooping like all babies. He was in his bouncy seat and one second he was totally fine just kicking his little feet and the next he was having a seizure. He was very tense and his fists were clinched. His eyes were bouncing and he was making a weird noise. I of course panicked and called 911. That was the absolute scariest day of my life! While in the hospital he was having a seizure almost every hour. They lasted longer and became more frequent as time went on. After 2 ambulance rides and 4 days in the hospital he was diagnosed with epilepsy. Almost immediately after starting the medication the seizures stopped happening. I am happy to report that he has been seizure free for a full year and is currently weening off the medication. You would also never know that he was a preemie! He weighs 27 lbs and is 17 months old. God is good!!

  45. Thank you for being so vulnerable. As a mom to a 17 month old I feel the anxiety so much more. The thing that helps me is just to pray and trust God and do the best I can everyday.

  46. Liz-
    I truly appreciate you writing about this as I never really dealt with anxiety before my son was born. He’s almost 4 now and we’ve had a few trips to the ER. I realized after a while I was thinking about all the things that could go wrong right before I would go to bed, leaving me with restless nights. I finally tried Tapping (google😄) and that ended up working for me. I’d do it right before bed and noticed by the third night it was helping me ease the anxiety. I felt pretty silly at first.

    I also stopped watching the depressing stuff on Netflix and kept things light and funny for a few weeks. 😂

    Thank you for being so open. It’s such a breath of fresh air to see other moms dealing with similar stuff.

  47. I try to go to bed early and excercise.. it helps keeps my anxiety at bay. But most importantly I see a phycologist and therapist to help manage my anxiety!

  48. Thank you so much for sharing! I have a 13 month old and he fell off our bed when he was 3-4 months. I was a wreck! I was up all night checking him with a flashlight to make sure he was okay. 😂 Now he’s all over the place and I have to really work at not being in constant fear that he will get hurt. I definitely agree that being in the moment and enjoying each day is so helpful in reducing the anxiety.

  49. I am not a mom nor do i know how to cope with anxiety for young children, but i wanted to share this story for you so you know it happens to everyone. When i was in high school i was babysitting for a family with 3 boys. The youngest was a baby and i can’t remember why but i sat him on the dining room table, i turned my head for a split second and the the baby fell off the table completely and he fell to the ground! Luckily he only cried a short moment and seemed fine after. When the parents got home that night i had to embarrassingly tell them their kid fell off a table and hit his head on my watch! And they were so cool about the whole thing! I was shocked! But i understand how you feel! I love watching IG stories about your kids they are so adorable! I even make my Fiance watch them with me! Haha You and Dave are doing a great job! Hang in there!