Ask Liz over 6 years ago by Liz Adams

Coffee with Liz • June 10, 2018

Weekly blogger Q&A series Coffee with Liz

Better late than never, right?! Thanks for always keeping up with me even when it gets a little quiet over here. I appreciate you guys so much! This week’s questions were fun – relationships, Dave, summer shoes, maternity style, motherhood. Such a good mix. Hope you guys are having a great weekend! It’s been raining here non-stop – ugh. I’m ready for some sunshine! xoxo

First-time mom problems here. I have a three-month-old baby, and have her on a pretty solid schedule- I do the eat, wake, sleep schedule through the day, and she is sleeping through the night (most of the time)! I get a little anxious every time I leave the house with the baby when her nap time is coming up because I feel she does best if she can nap as much as possible in a quiet/dim room in her crib! I am wondering how you balance life “out and about” with your kids during the day with their nap schedule- especially with Jack being so young! 

I was the exact same way with Charlie! Looking back it was really restricting and now he is really only able to nap in his crib when I wish he would fall asleep (for a significant amount of time) when we are out and about in his stroller. Jack is a little different because he is forced to be on Charlie’s schedule and just has to go with it. I’ve learned to be much more relaxed about his sleep schedule. Sadly some days his naps are on the go and definitely not as long as they would be if he were in his crib. I guess my mindset has shifted a bit because I know that eventually they will catch up on sleep. If naps aren’t as strong then I know they will make it up at night or take some good stretches the next day. 

Liz, you always looked so cute last summer when you were pregnant with Jack. I’m trying to find some cute tops and dresses for everyday wear this summer while pregnant. Do you have suggestions for cute, everyday dresses or longer tops that aren’t necessarily maternity?  

I lived in dresses like this, this, this and this paired with my favorite denim jacket. I also love ASOS maternity tees like this and these. So cute with a maxi skirt over the bump!

We’re getting ready to move to a new house with our 16-month-old daughter.  I know Charlie was a little older when you guys moved but I was wondering how he adjusted. Did you try to keep his routine pretty consistent?  Did he do ok with a new house, new room etc?

He did great! The first thing I did when we got to our new house was get his room set up so he didn’t really miss a beat. Our house was a mess for weeks but Charlie’s room was as if nothing changed. 

I recently got dumped by my boyfriend of two years (completely out of the blue!) and am pretty devastated. However, from his tone and the way he approached the situation (on a day where I should have been celebrating two new job offers!), I know it’s probably for the best. What would you recommend in terms of coping, moving on, and eventually dating again? Would love your advice!

Oh I feel for you! I was in a serious relationship before Dave and got rocked by how things ended, too. I think that it is okay to give yourself a grieving period – that is completely normal and important! If you keep it inside I feel like you’re never really prepared for what comes next because you haven’t gotten over your previous relationship. Everything takes time so give yourself some grace. Also, he sounds like a dick. You will definitely come out the other side getting the better end of the deal. I always tried to look at the long term and whether or not that person would be a good partner in life, once you start a family, etc. I promise you that far better things lay ahead than those that you leave behind 🙂

New mom here – I was curious to know if you breastfeed, exclusively pump or formula? I’m having a hard time with breastfeeding and thinking of exclusively pumping but it’s tough to give up on nursing all together. Any advice on making this decision? Or how you decided which route you went?

I exclusively breastfed for 6 months with Charlie and 4.5 months with Jack. I wrote a post about saying goodbye to nursing with Charlie. I never had to exclusively pump but the skin on skin connection of actually nursing was so important to me and to my babies. I think that you have to do what is best for you and your babe. Have you met with a lactation consultant? I talked to one in the hospital with Jack and it was so so helpful. I wish I had done this with Charlie because we had a tough nursing journey at times. I think the experience is worth the fight but I also think that a happy momma is the most important. You can’t do you job to the best of your ability if you are exhausted, stressed, upset – your happiness is very important as you navigate motherhood. Just know that a fed baby is best and either way you’re going to raise a beautiful, happy and health baby!

Hi Liz! I was wondering how old you are, or, more specifically, how old you were when you had Charlie? I’m thinking a lot about the “right” age for having children. How did you know? Would you decide differently now? Maybe have children earlier or later? Or was it the perfect age for you and Dave? I’m 24 now and always wanted to be a young mom for my children, but now I’m like: wait, what?? Having children in 2-3 years? Way too early! Thanks for answering and helping me with this special topic!

I’ll be 32 in August! I got married when I was 28 and had Charlie when I had just turned 29. I don’t think I really knew it was the right time but I am happy it happened the way that it did. My parents were young when they had me and I love my relationship with them and the fact that they are still young enough to keep up with my kids – ha! My goal was to have one baby by the time I was 30 so it worked out the way I had planned. My mom had me when she was 25 and growing up I always thought I would do the same but I am so grateful that didn’t happen! I would not be a suitable mother at 25…haha. I think things fall into place when they do. Obviously a solid relationship is first and foremost and you just kind of go from there. Dave and I had been together for 6 years when we got married so we were kind of ready to get the party started. 

I am a longtime reader- so long that I recall you went to Charleston for your bachelorette party?? I am heading there for a girl’s weekend in a few weeks and tried searching your post to get some fun ideas but no luck! I’ve seen your Charleston guide post which is awesome but was hoping to get some additional, girls weekend specific, ideas- anything from the Bach weekend post you can share?

We actually stayed out at my family’s house on Seabrook Island so we weren’t in the city too much! I would still recommend doing everything I mentioned in my Charleston Guide! Maybe rent a little party bus and cruise to the beach for a day?! Charleston is so beautiful that I think taking advantage of the sites and the food scene is a huge must. 

I’m getting married in October and want to find cute pajamas or robes for my bridesmaids as we get ready! I want something nice but not too expensive – around $50-$60. Any ideas?

Etsy has a ton of fun options!! I love these and these

I’m joining my husband for a work conference in June. In addition to dinners, I’ve been invited to a ‘spouse brunch’. I have some good ideas for my evening outfits, but always struggle putting together a polished daytime outfit. I’m not sure how fancy it will be because it is for the Poultry Federation, but is at the Ritz in Laguna Beach. I’m 31 and want to look cute and stylish. Any ideas would be great! Thank you!

I would recommend a cute day dress (also love this, this and this) and wedges!

What’s one of Dave’s must-have items for a first-time dad? Father’s Day is coming up and I’d love to get my husband something nice from the little one and from me. 

Dave loves his Fawn Design Pack that he uses as a diaper bag but also an anytime bag (it’s on sale!). You could also get him a nice watch (I feel like with kids you’re always stressed about timing things!) and have it engraved on the back?! Dave also said a nice bottle of bourbon, ha. 

I follow you on Instagram & have been following your blog for an embarrassingly long time! I just love ya. And something that I’ve come to notice is that you and Dave have a REALLY great dynamic.  I’m at this point in my longterm relationship where I want to get married, but I keep having these thoughts of “how will I ever live with this person for 60+ years!” How did you know that you wanted to marry Dave, and how do you keep the love alive in your marriage?

Haha thank you!! To be honest I don’t think of our relationship in terms of “how am I going to live with him for 60+ years!?” I don’t really think of anything like that at all. Our relationship is so solid that it just feels like this is it. Dave and I have our ups and downs like every relationship – most days are great but some days suck. However, I never ever question our love, support and respect for each other. He is my partner and navigating the ups and downs of marriage and parenting just feels like a natural progression of our love and relationship. Dave and I are actually very different. We are good compliments to each other and we have a lot of fun. Dave is hilarious – we laugh a lot, we talk a lot. I think remembering that our relationship is the foundation to the family we are building is really important.

I’m a stay at home mom to 3 kiddos (4, 2, and 4 weeks) so, needless to say, comfort and practicality are key these days when it comes to fashion. With that said, I have 2 questions for you. If you were to buy 1 pair of flats that would go with almost anything what would it be? I literally own booties, sneakers, and sandals but no flats. Is there anything you love that would work for the park, BBQs, and a night out? What are your thoughts on belt purses (yes, fanny packs) for the mom on the go? Skip this trend or embrace? Any favs if it is something to embrace? 

My favorite flats if you want to splurge are the Chloe Lauren flats. They are seriously butter and go with everything! I’m also loving these gingham flats (also in this great neutral color), you can’t go wrong with this classic style or this style and my absolute favorite espadrilles that I wear with everything in the summer – bbq’s, brunch, days with my kids! Just purchased them again for this year (because I wear them to death). In terms of a belt purse – I’ve been eyeing this Clare V floral one! As a mom, having both arms free is essential!

Did you use black-out shades or curtains in Jack or Charlie’s room? If so, where did you get them?

Yes! We have blinds and black out shades in both boy’s room. You can see Charlie’s nursery details here and Jack’s nursery here

We are planning a city vacation long weekend with our 2 year old son this summer to escape the Texas heat and Chicago is on the list.  But, one of our chief criteria is not having to rent a car/deal with the car seat situation. Is Chicago doable with a toddler just utilizing public transport? And what hotels/neighborhoods/activities do you recommend?  We were looking at Four Seasons but not sure which hotels and locations are preferable.

You should be fine without a car as the city is very walkable! So a stroller would be your best bet. I have post about the best things to do in the city here and here. The Four Seasons is definitely central to shopping on Michigan Avenue, Oak Street beach, the lakefront and only about a mile walk to the Lincoln Park Zoo! We also love The Langham hotel 🙂

I’m helping plan a bachelorette party in August in Chicago. Can you please share some fun group activities or must-see restaurants/bars for night time?

This post should be helpful!

I am feeling in a summer shoe rut these days. Do you have any recommendations for sandals or shoes with low heels that are fun, yet still somewhat work appropriate?  

I’m loving these and these from Sole Society! SO pretty with denim or dresses. I’ve heard nothing but good things about these mules – very effortless/chic! My favorite summer sandal was just restocked! How cute are these sneakers?

Thanks for all of the great questions this week, friends! Don’t forget to send your questions for next week by emailing with the subject “Coffee with Liz.”