Milestones over 8 years ago by Liz Adams

3 Months with Charlie

3 months with CharlieI can’t believe that Charlie is 3 months old. I have done absolutely nothing and absolutely everything in the last 102 days. My last update was at his one month (oh my gosh I want to cry, he has grown so much!) so here is what life has been like lately…

AMAZING! Being a mom is the best. Don’t get me wrong I definitely have my moments of panic when I miss not having time for myself, I miss taking long hot showers, I miss my clean apartment, I miss one on one time with Webster and I miss being able to do whatever I want. However, ultimately I just don’t care anymore. I miss Charlie when I take a shower and I miss him when he is sleeping even after a 10 minute screaming fit. I live for his smiles, when he lights up when I get him out of his crib in the morning, and they way he looks and loves on Dave and I. It’s true what my mom friends told me; every day is better than the last.

Charlie is generally a very happy baby, except when it’s time to get dressed, when he is overstimulated and when he is sleepy. He loves to eat, loves his mobile, loves cozy blankets on his face and loves his hands.

Here are a few other details of motherhood thus far:

Breastfeeding. I am still breastfeeding exclusively! Charlie is a champ. My supply has sort of leveled out since Charlie has become a bit more regular with his supply and demand. I am working to pump more so I can get going on my stock. I surprised Dave with a trip to Colorado for his 30th birthday in February and we will be leaving Charlie with my parents for 3 days (insert sobbing emoji).

Sleep. This is still a work in progress. I swear half of the stress with his sleep is completely my fault thanks to the amount of pressure the world put on baby’s sleep schedule. He is a great sleeper at night. He goes down around 8:30/9pm (would like this to be earlier, any tips?) and will either sleep until 7am or if he does wake up he wakes up around 4am for a quick feeding and then is back down immediately. We use Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit and this has been an amazing help. It weighs down their arms a bit which helps with his startle refluxes and acts like a big blanket. It’s a great transition from a swaddle and Charlie is really comforted by it – it was a huge help with holiday travel and lots of different cribs! We focus on the sleep, wake, change, feed, play routine and Charlie usually falls asleep every hour and half throughout the day. However, his naps could be anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours (on a really good day). He doesn’t wear the sleepsuit for his naps, he usually naps in the Rock & Play. Working on training him to self-soothe so he can fall asleep on his own in the crib. One step at a time!

Products. In no particular order: Medela Freestyle Breast Pump, Fisher Price Monkey Chair, 4Moms Bath Tub, Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper Bag, Boppy (great for tummy time), Little Giraffe Blanket, Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit, Avent Natural Bottles (for when I pump), Motorola Video Monitor, Nuna Car Seat and IVVI Stroller and Ergo Baby Carrier.

My relationship with my husband. Talk about a strain. The first couple of months were really hard on Dave and I. We are opposite in the fact that I am a bit type “A” and Dave is absolutely not. When Charlie was born I felt overwhelmed with knowledge from the books, blog, forums, apps – I thought I knew it all. Dave on the other hand is very much go with the flow and laid back. When Charlie cried, I assumed I knew exactly what the cause was and what was needed to fix the situation. Dave would say “he is a baby, this is just how it is.” I turned into a bossy bitch but quickly realized that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Once I realized that I became much more relaxed about Charlie’s actions and how we responded to them. Charlie LOVES Dave and I swear it is because he is the happiest, most relaxed parent around. He immediately calms Charlie down. He calms me down too, which I am so thankful for. I love you, Dave! You’re the best dad EVER.

It’s crazy to think about that first month of motherhood. That was a rough one. I found myself (and still find myself) asking my mom if any other babies cry as much as my baby – because from the looks of all of those other awesome blogging mommies, their babies sound like angels. I will say, for those of you in the beginning, feeling the way I did, or getting ready to welcome their first child – eventually you’ll miss those hard days and long nights. As much as they wear you down, they also make you stronger and give you the confidence you need to be the best momma you can be. Charlie is only 102 days old and that newborn stage is completely gone, and I miss it. But I have to say that each stage gets better and better. I adore this chunky little bear.

Charlie is wearing this sweater (in navy and 40% off!) and Zara leggings (no longer available).

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  1. Totally agree with your sentiments. Tanner is almost 6 months (Howww?!) and I miss the newborn snuggles. Each day/month is bittersweet because it’s so cool to see them learning and doing new things but also sad to say bye to the never ending snuggles.

  2. It just keeps getting better! My little boy is three, and truly, every day is better than the last! Thank you, as always, for your candid and honest thoughts on motherhood. The first year is all encompassing, but I found that around 12-15 months, you start having more quality time together, and less “caretaking” time.

  3. Tx for sharing such honest feelings and also, your recommendations on baby products. I too have the Fisher Price swing and it’s like the best thing ever (and how reasonable is the price??!!). I also love Mini Boden clothes for my baby girl. I hope you continue to share your feelings, advice, etc. I find them to be so honest and real.

  4. Question for you Liz! I have been working from home for about 8 months now and our baby is due in August. I really dislike working from home- it’s lonely and I’m not nearly as motivated as I used to be when I went to an office everyday. I’m worried about bringing our baby into that environment.

    Any tips? How has it been?

  5. Love reading your mommy updates! My son will be 8 months on Sunday, so I’m just a tad bit ahead of you. My husband had such a hard time in those first few months, it is like night and day now that Brady laughs, smiles, moves, talks, etc. It’s amazing how much easier your own marriage gets as your baby grows. Enjoy, they grow SO fast!

  6. I have a baby girl just a couple weeks behind Charlie, and let me say I’m super impressed you are able to keep up your fab blog and be a mom. Major props to you! Thank you for your honesty as well. It’s hard when you feel like you are the only one not keeping it all together. I would love a post about how you get your hair, makeup, and wardrobe ready with your little one!

  7. He’s adorable πŸ™‚ My daughter is 7 months now and it feels like things are ever so slowly getting back to normal – I can definitely relate to your post! An earlier bedtime has helped my husband and I reconnect a bit more, although yeah… it’s been a strain. I keep telling myself that all transitions create stress and eventually the transition stress will subside.

    Earlier bedtimes… this worked for us, but I feel like every baby is different. Our daughter was going to bed around 8:30/9:00 and we talked about pushing up her bedtime. I’d read that you could just move it earlier by 15 minutes a day and we were set to try that when I realized that she took a 6:00ish pm nap. So instead, we did bath time right at 6, when she started to rub her eyes, then I nursed her and magically she went to sleep for the night! Okay, not magically, I’d say there was a week of adjustment where she would wake up and need comforting. Now, though, she generally goes down between 7-7:30, wakes up once around 1-2:00 and then again around 6:30-7:00am. It’s been really nice to have our evenings back.

    One more thing… I research child rearing in different cultures and came across this Ugandan saying, which has helped me more than I can convey: “This baby was born that way.” For whatever reason it makes me feel less pressure to ‘get it right’ and more able to just accept that she’s fine and this is just the way things are for now.

  8. So interesting reading this from your perspective – I feel like our babies are so similar! And our struggles! I could NOT get Otis to take a real nap for the first 3 months. We were doing naps in the rock n play and night sleep in the crib. I went back to work at 12 weeks and I think he just adjusted to crib naps because he had to at daycare. So my only suggestion would be to keep trying the crib! He’ll get it eventually. I’ll also give you a heads up that kids also go through sleep regressions (a big one is at 4 months). Our great sleeper was suddenly up 2-3 times every night. BUT it was a pretty easy fix. We used this method at the recommendation of a mom friend: It worked the first night! And we didn’t feel like he had to cry that much. Good luck!!

  9. I love getting the updates on how your little family is doing! Thanks so much for including the bit about your relationship with your husband. I’ve been talking a lot lately to friends who have children, and I’ve heard a few times that no one really asks or puts much emphasis on how it impacts your relationship with your spouse. So thank you so much for your honesty about it!

    (And, for the days your relationship with Dave is feeling a bit tense, I read a funny quote for new parents, “Remember, your husband is not the enemy. The baby is the enemy!” Although I’m sure Charlie is nothing short of an angel!)

  10. It sounds crazy, but try to not let him sleep longer than 90 minutes during the day. Those extra could 30 minute blocks were huge in getting my daughter down at 630 instead of 9am (and she sleeps until 7am!). Just a suggestion, every baby is different!

  11. Charlie is beautiful β™‘ Lovely update and thanks for the honesty! You’re going to have a blast on your trip. Idk if Charlie has had reheated breastmilk yet but just check to make sure he takes it before building a stash. I had about 100 oz my son wouldnt touch bc i had high lipase and it tasted soapy πŸ™ some babies dont mind but just a heads up.

    Sounds like you guys have a great schedule! I think we started pushing bedtime earlier around 6m but J hasnt slept through until about 1 year old. No expectations make the best nights πŸ™‚

  12. Oh my gosh, this post totally resonates with me! My baby boy turns one on Monday (eek!), but this brings it all back – I thought I’d done all the research and so I found the first months pretty stressful as I attempted to work out why he was crying! My husband sounds very similar to Dave – he’s far more laid back and definitely calmed me down. Everything is so much easier now – you’re definitely right that the tough new born days give you strength later on! I do miss the new born snuggles…though my baby has just learnt to toddle up and give hugs of his own accord which is amazing! Re getting them to go to bed earlier, I found a routine really helped – bath, feed in a darkened room and then into the cot. My husband and I made a rule that once our baby was in his room we didn’t take him out again around bedtime; we’d stay in there and rock / comfort him if necessary, but wouldn’t bring him downstairs or into a lightened room again – this definitely gave him the idea it was bedtime! Good luck with the pumping, and congratulations for keeping breast feeding – it’s so worth it!

  13. Thanks for this post and for being so honest about your experience! I have to say, I’m super jealous that Charlie sleeps through the night as a breastfed baby. My daughter, who just turned 8 months, is exclusively breastfed (although we started solids two months ago for her dinner) and still wakes up two/three times a night. I definitely feel like my husband and I have failed somewhere since everyone acts surprised when I tell them that my LO still wakes up. The longest stretch we’ve gotten out of her is 6 hours — we’re absolutely exhausted! But, it’s so worth it because she’s growing into an amazing little human being .

    Side note — not sure if you listen to podcasts, but I really love “The Longest Shortest Time”. You should check it out if you don’t already listen to it.

    1. also, hang in there! We were in the same boat until about 13 months when the little guy started sleeping longer chunks. We also weaned at 14 months, but he totally started sleeping through before weaning. I hope your little one gets there sooner than later, but it will happen! Isn’t it funny what 6 hours of sleep can do for you when you’ve only had 2-3 hours?!

  14. Hi Liz,
    Love your blog! I’m wondering if you read any great books about pregnancy/motherhood while you were pregnant that you would recommend?

  15. Buy the moms on call book or app. It will get your baby sleeping from 7pm to 7am….. I used it with my 2 girls and it is awesome. They are 2 nurses who have a lot of kids. Also good feeding and other tips in it.

  16. I thought I was the only mom that really misses one on one time with my dog! We were so worried about whether our dog would love the baby but our dog is probably the most well adjusted one in the household with the baby – they just adore each other! Love reading about you and Charlie as my little guy is 12 weeks old – I feel like you are a few steps ahead of me in the journey so it’s nice to see what’s coming up! Do you have any favorite classes or indoor places to go with Charlie to get you through the cold Chicago winter? Appreciate any tips!

  17. I know this is an old post but I just had a baby 5 weeks ago and I can’t tell you how nice it was to read this! I have been very much like how you described yourself (with the information overload from books, blogs, etc) and thinking I knew it all and realizing I didn’t; while my husband has been so laid back and wonderful. Realizing I’m not alone and reading your reflections was so helpful. Thanks!