Confidence. Such a powerful little word that can get under our skin and either positively or negatively affect the way we feel about ourselves. In the past ten years I’ve noticed this internal transition from feeling confident and fearless in college, to insecure and confused in my mid-twenties, to comfortable, content, fulfilled and ultimately really happy with the now. I always associate this weird roller coaster timeframe with John Mayer’s song ‘Why Georgia’ – “I rent a room and I fill the spaces with wood in places to make it feel like home, but all I feel’s alone. It might be a quarter life crisis or just a stirring in my soul. Either way, I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdict-less life. Am I living it right?” This unsettling feeling was never associated with anyone else but myself {which I later learned was greatly related to my career path at the time} and that is when I realized the importance of being my own best friend. Confidence can be such an internal battle – whether it’s negative feedback from your peers, feelings of insecurity in your appearance, comparison, being envious of others, the list goes on and on. I’ve been there on all levels, trust me!

Today I wanted to share five tips that help me to feel more confident. These steps make an enormous difference in my day, the way I work, my relationships, my productivity levels – honestly, everything. I hope these help you too!

1. Give yourself a compliment. This is such an important part of my day and it usually happens in the morning {and randomly throughout the day}. When I’m wearing something that I don’t necessarily feel 100% sure of, I look at myself in the mirror and tell myself “you look amazing.” If I’m getting ready for a meeting or day that I’m nervous about I tell myself “there is a reason you have these meetings! you’ve got this.” If I’m struggling in the middle of a workout I say “your body is strong! you can do anything.” It might sound silly or vain but giving yourself a pat on the shoulder is the easiest way to start your day off on the right foot! You don’t need someone else to compliment you when you’ve loved on yourself.

2. Learn the power of “No”. As I’ve gotten older this has been a big struggle. Saying “yes” can be exhausting and from experience, can ultimately lead you into a direction that isn’t true to you. For years I said yes and put myself into situations where I just didn’t feel comfortable. They ended in bad choices both personally and professionally, poor relationships, and unhealthy behavior. I remember reading an article about the power of ‘no’ and it has not only been a HUGE game changer in my career but I am so much happier making decisions based on what I actually want to do. There is power, control, and confidence in NO!

3. Surround yourself with people who build you up. I mean, I hope this is a no brainer because if there is someone in your life that doesn’t make you feel like the best version of yourself then shame on them.

4. Treat yourself. Let’s be honest, the number once source of insecurity comes from our appearance. We are all guilty of falling victim to comparison which is why I do think it’s important to treat our beautiful selves because we are awesome and we deserve it. Something as little as a manicure, a new dress, a haircut, a workout class, getting my eyebrows waxed, new mascara, or a blow out can make a huge difference in my confidence level. It might sound silly but if it makes us feel good then why not? Confidence comes from within so if it makes you feel better then do it.

5. Smile. Truth: I have a resting bitch face. It’s probably my worst quality and something that I never ever notice I’m doing {if you’ve been a victim of the face, I am SO sorry!}. It immediately makes me come off as judgmental, critical, and insincere bitch and it wasn’t until my loved ones told me of this horrific quality that I learned the importance of a smile. Not only can a smile change the way you feel but it’s amazing the effect it can have on other people! I love flashing a smile to random strangers on the street – talk about an immediate boost of confidence. I seriously make a conscious effort to curl up my lips to ensure that I’m not frowning. Trust me, avoid the RBF and smile people – it will make everyone around you happier too. This video made me laugh – so so true.

Photo by Heather Talbert, originally from this post.