Living over 4 years ago by Liz Adams

Wedding Jitters

DaveandLizDave and I are 60 days away from our wedding and I am an emotional wreck, you guys. I think it is a combination of exhaustion, constant to-do’s in my head and just complete distraction – like I literally have no idea what is going on. I’ll be at my desk, working away, and then all of a sudden I’ll hear a song and start hysterically crying followed by bizarre/awkward laughter. I also have about 3 dreams a night with some relation to our wedding where I wake up sweating – it is all consuming! I know it stems from excitement and some nerves, but I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that I’m getting married {!!!!}. Our invitations went out last Friday and it finally felt real that all of the planning, all of these huge decisions are slowly becoming linked together and I can finally see exactly what our day is going to look like. Very few people know any sort of detail at all {even Dave is pretty much in the dark!}, so I think my biggest anxiety comes from seeing everyone’s reaction to this special day that I’ve worked so hard at making completely reflective of Dave and myself. We can’t wait!

So brides, did you feel like this before your wedding? Were you a wreck throughout your wedding weekend? I am pretty sure at this rate I’m going to be a mess. Do your nerves subside closer to the day of? That sounds doubtful for me. Any insight would be helpful! I’ve been trying to distract myself with a busy schedule, getting my butt in shape, and organizing everything in my life – Dave thinks I’m nuts.

PS: I may or may not start sharing some sneak peeks of the planning on my instagram, if you care to follow along.

Photos by Tim Tab Studios.

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  1. Hey lovely! first of all a big hug all the way from London 🙂 I was a wreck last year I was like ‘oh I’m 23 and I’m getting married …’ I was also super nervous because we were getting married in NYC and traveled 4 days before the wedding I let you imagine how I was on the 7h journey on the plane … considering I am like you and not a big fan of flying … Everything will go so quickly enjoy every second of it and try and relax you have done all you can to make it amazing and I am sure it will! Breathe listen to some music and a good bauble bath 😉

    xo Sylvia 🙂

  2. I’m getting married next summer but am already a wreck. Part of the reason I’m so nervous is that I’m in Africa this summer (one of the many reasons we pushed our wedding to next summer and are having a 2 year engagement) so there’s not a lot that I can do from here! I am stressed to come back to the states and have about a million time sensitive details that I need to take care of right away. I think it’s 100% normal and hope that as your wedding approaches you can relax and enjoy – keep me updated on your stress levels!

    PS where is that dress from your engagement shoot from?

  3. Aggghhhh Liz! Yes, this is completely normal! But you’ll push through it and you’re day is going to be absolutely amazing! At a certain point just realize it’s in the experts hands (they do this alllll the time) and focus on all the love and support from you’re family, friends and husband to be. And don’t forget about that honeymoon! It seems to be forgotten in the midst of all the planning. You have the best day of you’re life, then you remember you have this amazing trip wih you’re husband. It’s the best!

  4. I think that is normal. I had many dreams that were all very bazaar. And while working I would have to keep a list going of things that popped in my head so I would remember to take care of them later! It will all be worth it when the day is perfect!

  5. Liz, all that you are feeling is totally normal. The weekend prior to our wedding, I made certain to take a break and just breathe. If you can, try to do that! I spoke with my doctor a few months prior to the wedding as well, and she recommended I take a very mild sleeping aid, Unisom, the week of the wedding to help me sleep. It is SO important to get your rest! And finally, if I had to offer one last bit of advice…make sure the 30 minutes before your ceremony you stay occupied. My girls and I were finished and just hanging out, and for whatever reason, those 30 minutes of doing nothing caused me great anxiety. Thank goodness my dad was there to calm me down! Just enjoy this special time–everyone will love it no matter how it turns out because they will be focused on your love and not the details of the day (even though we want them to be!). So happy for you!

  6. Liz,

    I went through the same thing when I got married. Even walking down the isle I was a hysterical mess! They were tears of joy, exhaustion, and excitement. As soon as my husband took my hands at the alter, it all went away! Wishing you and Dave the very best on such a wonderful and momentous day in your lives!

    Erin

  7. Weddings are just stressful I think. I’m 145 days out and on a budget of about $7k (dress,dinner, everything!) and no one to plan but myself and my fiancé and I are paying. Just try to take a deep breath and be greatful for everything you have in front of you. We can only afford to invite 33 people and it still seems like a lot to do. I just try to focus on my actual marriage and relationship rather than making sure just one day is perfect. It helps me relax about the event to put it in perspective. If not, there is Xanax.

  8. Liz, It’s normal to have all this stress and this is right about the time where it happens because important decisions need to be made and you start to see effects of the ones you already have made. I got married in Rome, Italy and it was hard to plan from far away so I had to let go of some of the control and not get too focused on the small details. In the end those things don’t matter and they take away time from the overall experience. The best advice I can give is to not get too focused on the details because you will miss out on soaking up the experience and making memories. Like someone else said leave as much as you can to the professionals.
    xoxo Michele @ http://www.prettysmartme.com

  9. Oh honey-I’m sure it will be wonderful! I am about as anxious and emotional as anyone and I assumed I would be an absolute mess on my actual wedding day and was terribly worried I would not enjoy the day because I would be so stressed and panicky and nervous. But it turned out I was incredibly calm and in the moment!! I think if you plan everything out in advance and ensure all the details are taken care of you can relax, enjoy the actual day! just make a conscious decision to be calm and take it all in–I totally surprised myself! so don’t get too worked up about it(easier said than done I know!!!) and don’t forget to delegate–people WANT to help you out!!! It will be a beautiful day and you should truly soak up all the moments–don’t let stress overtake the true meaning of the day! good luck!

  10. Aw, don’t worry hun! Just remember the day is about you and Dave and your new life as husband and wife. Everything will work out as planned and you know what, if some details don’t work out, it’ll be okay because the most important thing is that you and Dave are happy. I was more nervous the week of my wedding more than any other time throughout – the food/catering and guest list made my stomach twist in knots and I pretty much stopped eating (not wise, but I couldn’t help it, I had zero appetite). I was worried about not having enough food or having too much and wasting money – it was a mess (I was a mess). Then, the DAY OF my wedding, 10 additional family members showed up unannounced and we had to squeeze in another table at the reception. Luckily they always make additional food just for this sort of thing. It all ended up working out and I was so happy to have everyone there in the end and no one knew the wiser. At that point, I just gave up and all that mattered was that I was marrying my love.
    Longest comment ever, I know, but just wanted to tell you – you’ll be okay! Don’t lose sight of what the day is really about and if you do that, then everything will work out. Can’t wait to hear about how it goes! Congrats to you and Dave!! xo

  11. I’m getting married the weekend before you (!) and I feel the same way. I try to focus on that we are getting married and all of the little stuff will fall into place. Try to enjoy it!

  12. I was a huge wreck in the weeks (actually, months) leading up to my wedding– always up late worrying I didn’t have everything done. On the big day though, I was totally calm. It will be a great day. Enjoy!

  13. On the morning of your big day nothing will matter and you will only be focused on your future husband. After you say “I do” nothing will matter because you will only be focused on each other and you will be ready to party. At least that’s how I felt on my big day. Congratulations!!!

  14. I got married last year on Sept 28th, and yes, this is totally normal!! We were engaged for a year and a half so I had PLENTY of time to panic, freak out, change my mind a million times and have total meltdowns! Whenever I would hear the song I knew was going to be our first dance song, or the song I was going to dance with my dad to, I would lose it, even if I was at the gym mid-elliptical! The day of my wedding I was eerily calm, not nervous at all, just excited and so happy to be surrounded by all the people I loved!! Everyone says this but the day truly does go by so fast, just make sure you take a few moments throughout the course of the day to just STOP and look around you and take it all in. That is what you will remember the most. In the end, it all went down seamlessly and was exactly as I had envisioned, and so much more! We even had a feature on Style Me Pretty!! Check out the link below if you want 🙂 Just enjoy this time – you will never be an engaged couple again! Everything will work out exactly as you want it to.

    http://www.stylemepretty.com/new-york-weddings/new-york-city/queens/long-island-city/2014/04/23/modern-long-island-city-wedding/

  15. I’m getting married a week or two after you, so I completely understand how you feel! I was trying to avoid all this last minute scrambling, but I guess there is no way to side step the stress. Just try to remember that most people planning a wedding feel like they are losing their mind sometimes, too! Just keep on going, you’re almost there 🙂

  16. Don’t worry, you are totally normal to be nervous! There are so.many.things involved in planning a wedding, and you just want all of your hard work to pay off. My best advice is, no matter how worried you get beforehand, press pause on the day of and enjoy every moment. As long as you and Dave are happy and you’re having fun with the people you love, that’s what truly matters.

  17. The last 5 weeks were the worst. I’m a Type A Project Manager, that had to have everything planned perfectly. I finally broke down and created a power point with pictures, instructions, and an iteinerary for the bridal party, families, and helpers. It was the best thing I could have done. It got all the questions that EVERYONE had answered, and kept me calm the weekend of the wedding. You’ll enjoy every second of your big day; I can promise you that. All the sleepless nights, stress, and planning is worth it. Not to mention how COMPLETELY blessed you’ll feel from all the love and support from family and friends.

  18. I got married three weeks ago, and I can tell you that I was pretty much a wreck for the months, but especially the week, leading up to it. Even the rehearsal dinner, I was a mess. Don’t get me wrong, it was all very fun and exciting, but I don’t really like being the center of attention and I was very nervous about that. But…when the day came, I had the BEST time. It was truly great and all of the planning came together for a perfect day. And bonus: I got to marry my best friend. So I know it’s hard, but let go a little. I’m sure you have a team of people who can handle whatever comes up and hopefully you won’t have to be bothered with the small stuff. Good luck. I’m sure it will be beautiful!

  19. Ahhhhh! We just got married May 31st and I think the best thing I did to keep my nerves and fears in check was to remember that at the end of the day this was about my husband and me. So when I got worried about what chairs we’d have or exactly how many macaron towers were going to show, I took a deeeeeeeeep breath and remembered that it’ll all be fine and everyone is coming because they want to celebrate us and our marriage, and that’s enough for me!

    Your day will be beautiful and wonderful and perhaps most importantly, unique to you and your husband. That’s the best part! Try to enjoy the fun of it all 🙂

  20. I think what you’re feeling is completely normal! It would be unusual if you were really calm during this time, actually.

    If you don’t already have a wedding planner, I would hire someone to at least handle the couple weeks prior and the day-of. That was a huge relief to us because we knew if anything happened, we would have to deal with the stress because the planners would handle.

    Before you know it, your wedding will be over and you will find yourself missing all of the craziness! 🙂

    Best of luck to you both during this special time!

  21. Oh goodness! I got married in March and I can totally relate to all of those feelings! As the day got closer, things got crazier. As soon as the rehearsal was over (which was crazy and overwhelming!) and we were siting down at the Rehearsal Dinner, surrounded by our family and best friends, all of those feelings subsided. I was overcome by a wonderful feeling of joy and excitement. I was about to marry my best friend and all of the people around us were there to celebrate with us! No matter what might go wrong the next day (and there is always something which you hopefully won’t find out about until weeks later when you can laugh about it) you are surrounded by people who love you!

  22. congrats girl! i’m sure your nerves are totally normal, it’s such a high pressure life change!
    xo
    Tara
    shoesillneverhave.blogspot.com

  23. I didn’t enjoy my wedding day as much as I should have because I was too concerned with the details all day and too consumed by people looking at me. It’s SO HARD, but try, try, try to let go a little bit and enjoy it!

  24. I think it’s natural to be nervous. I just got married (only one month in) and I definitely found myself to be hyper-emotional plus my dreams were crazy (all my bridesmaids showed up in that yellow dress that Belle wears in Beauty and the Beast). But it’s important to remember a couple of things…first, weddings are, objectively, emotional events! SO, LET THE TEARS FLOW! I embraced the emotion and let it all hang out so that day of, I was totally in the moment and found that I was able to hold in the tears because I was just so happy. Also, remember, no matter what happens, you’ll be married! you’ll be with the love of your life! Forget the wedding part, forget the details for a minute and remember that rain, shine, smooth or rough day, you’ll be married 🙂 it’s a very freeing feeling when you let it be about the marriage and not the wedding.

    Wishing you all the best!

  25. I just got married last month, and absolutely can relate. It sounds like you’re working hard on planning the day of your dreams, and without a partner to share those details (how fun to surprise even your husband-to-be!). I honestly do think that all the planning in advance will result in a day that finds you calm, collected, and extremely happy though. Think of it this way: you’re working hard now so you can enjoy your day “hard” too. This is exactly what happened on my day – we’d done so much work leading up to the day that both my husband and I surprised ourselves with how relaxed and happy we were able to be. Think of all the planning as a key part to preparing to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

  26. Liz,
    I got married last September and can totally relate. The wedding planning was THE most stressed I have ever been. Until I realized that the details were just that- details. The most important thing to remember is that it’s your wedding day- sharing that day with Dave and the marriage the two of you will have makes all of it perfect. The nerves will subside- for me, the moment I saw my husband, my family, my friends all together to celebrate our union all I felt from that moment on was excitement and pure joy. Still do! 🙂
    Best wishes and congratulations!

  27. I just got married on May 16th! I was a total mess around the 60 day count down mark. Its crunch time! You will do great though. I was the same with songs. Would hear a song on the way home from work and start crying and then be like, “SNAP OUT OF IT CRAZY LADY! Who AM I?” But it all pays off on the big day 🙂 Just sip some champagne and take it all in because the day will go by so incredibly fast (which seems impossible after all the planning). Just try to think of the planning and details as secondary to the whole meaning of the wedding. That always kept me grounded. Because at the end of the day, the wedding is just one day of your whole marriage 🙂 Congratulations!

  28. I felt the same way (got married 15 months ago!). The “countdown” alone made me feel like an elephant was sitting on my chest. Two weeks out I thought my sports bras were making me breakout (was also working out a lot!) but they were actually hives! By the Friday of my wedding weekend, I was covered in hives!!! I had full blown emotional breakdown from that and the beauty of your wedding weekend, is that your family and friends are there to help and calm you. My release was to drink a little more than I intended at my rehearsal and enjoy the fact that my whole inner circle was in the same room! Hives went away after that 🙂 My husband also had similar nerves, to the extent that throughout our wedding ceremony we were whispering to each other that we could barely keep any food down that morning (nothing sticks, and you definitely lose 5lbs that week). But after the ceremony, a lot of the adrenaline and nerves dissipated and some of my favorite photos are from in between the ceremony and reception, where you can see that I am finally relaxed. Hope this helps to comfort you. Can’t wait to see what you have in store!

  29. Hello! My wedding was this past weekend (07.19.2014) and it was amazing. I did most of the planning with support of my groom and was pretty stressed during the process. Leading up to the wedding I was definitely emotional and anxious. We had a wedding weekend with most of our guests arriving at the resort we rented out on Friday and once they started arriving the nerves were gone and I enjoyed every second. The only moment I felt really nervous was when we started down the aisle. My stomach felt like when you go over the highest part in a roller coaster and plummet downwards. There were a few glitches along the way but the weekend was perfect and the amount of love and support we received from friends and family was overwhelming. Good luck on your big day and try to relax, it goes so fast you need to enjoy it!

  30. I think this is totally normal and of course, it will all be worth it! I cannot wait to see photos from your big weekend! I have a feeling it’s going to be magical. 🙂

  31. I can totally relate! I had hives all over my upper body for a month leading up to my wedding day (and actually on the wedding day!) 2 days into the honeymoon—they were gone! It’s all in your head. Relax. You’ll be beautiful and it will be fine! http://theladyolive.com

  32. I’m getting married just shy of a month before you, and I definitely felt this way a few weeks ago. I’m a bit of a control freak, so a lot of things have fallen to me because I chose that – not necessarily a bad thing, I just needed to figure out how to work that into my already full schedule. I promise in a few weeks you’ll feel much better as things fall into place and you get closer to the date. Just remember to breathe and know that if the flowers are slightly off the shade you wanted, no one will notice but you 🙂

    Alyssa
    http://www.feathersandstripes.com

  33. I just got married a year ago and planned my wedding entirely by myself – and it was a destination wedding in California. All I can say is – get your worrying done now…but on the weekend – LET IT GO!! Remember – you are the only one who would even know if something doesn’t go right!! And if it does, WHO CARES – that is what makes a wedding special and truly unique. When I walked down aisle and reached my intended, he hugged my Dad and then as we walked back to the altar – he leaned in a kissed me. We both laughed as he said “I don’t think I am supposed to do that yet!” I will always remember it and all our guests laughed too. The only other advice I have it – be in the moment – take it all in…don’t let the chaos, the craziness and the little details get in the way of you savoring the moment. That was the best advice I got prior to our wedding and I have to say – I took to heart and that day lives on in my memories like it was yesterday. Enjoy and congrats!

  34. Cheers from a sunny Brazil!!!
    Liz, backing in time when I was planning my wedding I was a mess, rsrsr. I had scary dreams every single night, such as I was entering naked on the church, no one showed up at the event and so on… I cried about small things as well…
    I was a bi-polar human being at that time, but it is all part of a grown up decision…
    Almost every girl dream about the big day and a prince charm, and see that is all coming true is certainly a huge sentimental thing, its about a life change, share your life with a person who you love more, is about to learn how balance your life with a new person with a different background than yours and work everything out. So, enjoy this crazy-emotional, bi-polar as much you can because it is all part of the big plan, and at the end you will laugh it all over 🙂
    Have a lovely week:)

    Carmen